Today's Topics:
Fwd: wierd crime
Pass it on!
postscript bob.
Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use (3 msgs)
When I was twelve.
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Message-Id: <IbmNp3_00VQfA8CZ4v@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 91 18:26:59 -0500 (EST)
From: Chris Koenigsberg <ckk+@andrew.cmu.edu>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Fwd: wierd crime
In-Reply-To: <Added.8bmNCbK00UkT0qXE4f@andrew.cmu.edu>
---------- Forwarded message begins here ----------
Date: 25 Feb 91 17:40:27 EST
From: Kurt.Laughlin@GLOBE.EDRC.CMU.EDU
Subject: wierd crime
To: BBoard.Maintainer@CS.CMU.EDU
Can someone give me a good account of the case of the "ultimate stage
mother"? It was in my local paper last week but the story was only a paragraph
long...It seems a woman tried to hire a hit man to kill the mother of
her 13 year-old daughter's rival for a junior high school cheerleading
position. Apparently she thought this would suitably unnerve the other kid and
make her screw up her audition.
This happened in Texas, of course.
25feb91 1740
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From: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Message-Id: <9102251634.AA04873@beethoven.MIT.EDU>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Pass it on!
Date: Mon, 25 Feb 91 11:34:15 EST
Possibilities suggest themselves profusely:
} From: caw@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
}
} 25-Feb-91 09:08 Richard.Stern please give 90 seconds of speech
} From: Richard.Stern@SPEECH1.CS.CMU.EDU
} Posted for a friend ....
}
} LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!
}
} The Oregon Graduate Institute Speech Recognition Laboratory has begun
} a project in telephone speech recognition.
}
} To develop their system, speech samples are needed from as
} many people as possible.
}
} The system will ask you to say and spell your first and last names, and say
} what city and state you grew up in. If you are uncomfortable giving your
} own name, any name will do. The entire call takes about a minute and a half.
} The number is;
}
}
} *******************************************
} 1-800-441-1037
} *******************************************
}
} If you have any comments about the system after calling, you may send them
} to Ron Cole at the address below.
}
}
} Dr. Ron Cole
} Oregon Graduate Institute
} Computer Speech Recognition Laboratory
} 19600 N.W. Von Neumann Drive
} Beaverton, OR 97006
}
} cole@cse.ogi.edu
} 503 690 1159
-- dr foo
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Date: Mon, 25 Feb 91 16:20:16 CST
From: Pink <prince@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu>
Message-Id: <9102252220.AA10318@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
In-Reply-To: <9102252113.AA10197@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu>
Subject: postscript bob.
Does someone, somewhere out there have a postscript bob's head... maybe
even a scanned EPS one. I can speak encapsulated postscritpt.
Go forth and multiply his image.
/\ | Internet-> Prince@Pebbles.TCS.UH.edu | ______
/_/. | US Mail -> Box 66231 Houston 77266-6231 | \ / Silence=Death
/ //\/< | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - | \ /
Jay Prince | To Report Hate Crimes: 1-800-347-HATE | \/ Action = Life
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Message-Id: <9102250300.AA19620@efi.com>
Date: 22 Feb 91 17:21:06
From: Yale Rosenblatt <efi!mailgate!Yale_Rosenblatt@uunet.uu.net>
Subject: Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uunet.uu.net
GatorMail-Q Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
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Date: Fri, 22 Feb 91 00:08:13 EST
From: Automatic Subgenius Digestifier <uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius-request>
Reply-To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #99
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subgenius Digest Fri, 22 Feb 91 Volume 2 : Issue 99
Today's Topics:
Dog Tags (and board games)
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Date: Thu, 21 Feb 91 07:01:17 -0800
From: 71155000 <skreee@ucscb.ucsc.edu>
Message-Id: <9102211501.AA04866@ucscb.UCSC.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Re: the Subgenius' CO status-
Why of course the Subgenius is exempt from the normal draft
proceedure...He or she is also perfectly capable of skipping boot camp
altogether and hopping straight into one o' them there Ah-pa-cheee Heliopters
and blowin' th' crap outta the Iraqi's, the Saudi's, the British, the French,
and of course he or she is fully authorized to engage our own fine American
soldiers in a lil' friendly fire...(note: "FRIENDLY FIRE~" is a term invented
by Bob himself in 1952...of course, at that time he was refering to the act of
setting his neighbors homes ablaze as part of a skillful controlled burn-)
If the Subgenius goes overseas this war will quickly become the
bloodiest DeathFarm man or Yeti has ever known. Of course the media will
never actually be able broadcast Bob's troops riding across the desert upon the
Great Sandworms of N'zer, but we will know... we will know the truth... we will
know the mistakes that will always turn out for the best... we will know...
On a side note: Just a few hours ago I read a flyer describing
in DETAIL how it was actually our current president, George Bush, who
assasinated J.F.K.--- I'll be tryin' to get a copy to send out to you all...
Yet another fine conspiracy theory---
--Rev. Skreee
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Date: Thu, 21 Feb 91 10:29:58 -0500
From: Douglas Humphrey <deh@eng.umd.edu>
Message-Id: <9102211529.AA13846@bagend.eng.umd.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Dog Tags (and board games)
Can you get Sub-G put on your tags as your religion? Another reverend
(who will remain nameless) passed on the chance to do that; otherwise
his military ID card would have identified him as one of *us*.
You hear about the new board game called "Scud Attack"? Yes, oh my
droogs and brothers, we live in the right country; the war is one
huge sales opportunity!
Our friend Saddam is speaking on the radio right now; does he drop
to his knees to suck our sacred shafts, or do we pick a different
oriface to demonstrate its ultimate sticky power?
Rev. Wor Bar
First Clench of the Islandic Jihad
(under the divine leadership of the
Rev. Tao Nee, founder of the Clench)
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End of Subgenius Digest
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Message-Id: <9102250329.AA19799@efi.com>
Date: 24 Feb 91 19:21:29
From: Yale Rosenblatt <efi!mailgate!Yale_Rosenblatt@uunet.uu.net>
Subject: Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uunet.uu.net
GatorMail-Q Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
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Reply-To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #100
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subgenius Digest Sat, 23 Feb 91 Volume 2 : Issue 100
Today's Topics:
greetings astral brother
Put a little Bab in your heart...
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Date: Fri, 22 Feb 91 10:10:46 EST
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Message-Id: <9102221510.AA02527@shadow.>
To: andrew.cmu.edu!ckk+@uu.psi.com
Cc: media-lab.media.mit.edu!subgenius@uu.psi.com
Subject: greetings astral brother
"the beans my city gives to me"
by Rev. Dr. Willie "beanguts" MacAdamia (adapted from traditional sources)
now there are beans that you get from lonelyness
and there are beans that you get from pain
and there are beans when lonely for your one and only
and there are beans you can never explain
and there are beans that you get from sleepless nights
but the beaniest beans that be
are the beans that i've got on my mind
i mean the beans that are the beaniest kind
the beans my city that my city give to me
now, there are bean you get from women when you see them going swimming and you
haven't got a bathing suit yourself
and, there are beans you get much quicker when your drinking lots of liquor and
somebody goes and takes it off the shelf
and there are beans you get when everything is hot when your girl does and
that's when your not
and there`s the beans you get from getting in a taxi cab and freting everytime
you hear a bump jump the clock
and there are beans you get from trying to keep your uncle Will' from dying and
your afterwards forgotten in his will
and the beans you get from kissing when your walking with your misses and a
nother baby shouts "hi Will'!"
but the beans that make you want to shout shake and shiver
the beans that make you want to go and end it in the river
are the beans my city gives to me
oh yeah
the beans my city give to me
-----------------------------
Date: Fri, 22 Feb 91 02:42 EST
From: "Nuclear weapons don't kill people, bad policies kill people."
<WEYKERS@uncg.bitnet>
Subject: Put a little Bab in your heart...
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-id: <B6889F84CBBF210273@uncg.bitnet>
Something from my readings for a Mideast Politics course I've been taking this
semester (specifically, _Faith and Power_ by John Mortimer, page 110)
Remember, pronounce the "a" like in "father".
"He may also have been influenced by 'Babism', a Messianic movement which swept
through Iran in the 1840s and 1850s. Its leader, Ali Muhammad of Shiraz,
declared himself to be the Bab [in italics, a with bar over it], or gate, to
the twelfth Imam himself, bringing a new religious dispensation that superseded
the law and teachings of the Koran. Babism was 'somewhat equalitarian regarding
social classes and the sexes, favorable to economic enterprise, and in general
more in tune with the demands of modern society than the tradional religion'. .
. . The Baha'i religion, which is non-Muslim, developed out of Babism in the
1860s."
Church of The Subgenius and the Baha'i faith from the same roots? You decide.
Maybe if Iran is lucky Bob will return. We all know they could use the slack.
In fact there has been a U.S. embargo on slack to Iran ever since the Iranian
government leaked the Iran-Contra story to a Lebanese newspaper a few years
ago. This has been hush-hush however and I am likely going to get a visit from
some gentlemen from the NSA ("We read more of your mail than you do") in
which they will explain to me the error of my ways.
Oh the things I do for Bob...
Shayne Weyker a.k.a Saint Spudboy
weykers@uncg.bitnet weykers@steffi.acc.uncg.edu
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ArE wE nOt PrOoF tHaT tHe UnIvErSe Is NoThInG bUt
A dRoOlInG iDiOt WiTh No fAsHiOn SeNsE?"
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End of Subgenius Digest
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Message-Id: <9102250329.AA19822@efi.com>
Date: 24 Feb 91 19:21:12
From: Yale Rosenblatt <efi!mailgate!Yale_Rosenblatt@uunet.uu.net>
Subject: Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uunet.uu.net
GatorMail-Q Tim Maroney :Unknown ML use
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Reply-To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius
Subject: Subgenius Digest V2 #101
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subgenius Digest Sun, 24 Feb 91 Volume 2 : Issue 101
Today's Topics:
they use pink lasers too
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Message-Id: <9102231808.AA15414@rad.Eng.Sun.COM>
Date: Sat, 23 Feb 91 10:06:53 PST
From: "Break the code, solve the crime" <gumbo!david@eng.sun.com>
To: gumbo!subgenius@eng.sun.com
Subject: they use pink lasers too
"Phone cable cut slashes airline, finance activity"
"One of the 10 busiest optical-fiber links in AT&T Co.'s long-distance
telcommunication network - that between New York City asnd Newark, N.J. -
was cut on Jan. 4 by a workman not following proper procedures...
"... the company took three actions in response to the outage ... The
final step was the mending of the cut itself, a procedure that was
reportedly hampered by a lack of slack in the damaged cable, which
necessitated the insertion of an extra piece."
-- "The Institute", March 1991
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End of Subgenius Digest
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Date: Mon, 25 Feb 91 15:13:13 CST
From: Pink <prince@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu>
Message-Id: <9102252113.AA10197@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu>
To: nelson%pebbles@pebbles.tcs.uh.edu, Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu,
lsmsa@athena.mit.edu
Subject: When I was twelve.
When I was twelve, Horselover Fat came and visited me. He fed me amphetamines
and told me of something called Valis. He wouldn't say my name. He kept saying
Pink. Pink this, Pink that...and every time he said pink, he looked at me
expectantly. I said I'm _______ ( I no longer know what that name was), and he
replied "yes, pink, I know." He told me that valis was all-seeing. He told me
that valis talked to him by way of a pink laser beam in his sleep. I see now
that AT&T has discovered this wonderful technology. When I was fourteen, I
fell and broke my Tin Drum. I the toymaker who repaired it seduced my sister
(who thought she was older than I) and told me, in a note, that god was all-
knowing. Then I went to church, and we said "Our father, who arent in heaven,
howard be thy name." I soon became very confused. And then I met bob from
down the street. He fed me LSD-25. He said HE was all knowing, but only because
JR told him. I started watching Dallas on TV. Eventually, bob told me that
JR's last name was Dobbs. This can't be. For I knew that JR was an eweling.
Then one day, bob took me on a spaceship. And there was Horselover, who I knew
was dead, and someone named howard, who said he was a moonie. The moon told me
to speak in simple sentances. I do. And then I was enveloped in a pale pink
light. I could smell tobacco of some kind...and a sweater. My hair felt like
it had petroleum by-products in it. Much time passed. I saw into Fat's head.
I heard bob-from-down-the-streets' thoughts. I fell in love. I ate and eel.
I became aware.
And now I am Pink.
And now I know that Valis is the radiostation of THE alians.
But I cannot reveal it.
I know the answer to the universe and everything.
But I cannot say it.
I know my name, but I cannot say it.
For now, I am pink.
And now, I see the laser beam.
---for I am the laser beam's color.
.....And BOB is its' coherency.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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