Today's Topics:
No! Don't.... Don't!!... DON'T!!!! (and a poem)
Sallaque: the real thing
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Message-Id: <9102272049.AA16781@beethoven.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: No! Don't.... Don't!!... DON'T!!!! (and a poem)
Date: Wed, 27 Feb 91 15:49:22 EST
Okay, here's some excerpts from another Digest. Read carefully, and be
very sure not to do anything chaotic or inconveniencing with the
following information.
} Date: 24 Feb 91 23:02:51 GMT
} From: Alex Hart <mindlink!Alex_Hart@bloom-beacon.mit.edu>
} Subject: Mundane but worthwhile (IMHO !)
} To: sca@mc.lcs.mit.edu
}...
} Last week in my mundane place of employment... we received a sort of
} chain letter going to various companies world wide . It concerns a young
} boy in England who is apparently dying of cancer and has not long to
} live. His goal is to get into the Guinness book of records for having
} collected the most business cards by one person.... So I would like to
} request any/all fisherfolk who read this and can help to send as many
} different cards as possible to the following address:
}
} Craig Sherhold
} 36 Shelby Road
} Carshalton,Surrey, SN 1LD
} United Kingdom.
}
} I would appreciate hearing from anyone who manages to collect a large
} number, and thank you for you attention....
} Date: Tue, 26 Feb 91 06:13:18 GMT
} From: Sam Bassett RCS <samlb@pioneer.arc.nasa.gov>
}...
} NO, NO, NO, NO -- do NOT send anything to Craig Shergold. He has
} already gotten several million postcards, and the hospital where he has
} been treated and his family are BEGGING people to quit it....
}
} If Craig is still alive (no one seems to know for sure), he is now in
} his late teens or early 20s, and would probably as soon forget the whole
} thing. The story is almost 10 years old.
} Date: 26 Feb 91 06:47:37 GMT
} From: Kevin Payne <railfan@buhub.bradley.edu>
}
} Nope, uh-uh, nada, don't give that man a cigar.
}
} This is one of those "urban folk legends" that goes the rounds so often
} it's ridiculous.
}
} It seems that about 5 years ago a boy in England decided to undertake
} this mission...and he had cancer. The outpouring was magnificent...MORE
} than magnificent! So many cards came in that GUiness officially
} declared the category CLOSED.
}
} Craig Sherhold doesn't care if he never sees another post or business
} card for as long as he lives (and he is doing fine, has apparently been
} in remission for two or three years)....
} Date: 26 Feb 91 20:40:37 GMT
} From: Wilson Heydt <whheydt@pacbell.com>
}
} Argggghhhhh! NO! Not this one *again* . . .
}
} Yes--it's real, *BUT* it's out of date. The kid succeeded in setting
} the record. They've been trying to *stop* the mailings for a couple of
} years now. Please *don't* send cards to the address given and *don't*
} spread word of the appeal...
So there you have it. Be sure not to send any business cards or
postcards to this poor, overwhelmed post office and hospital, in the
name of charity for a dying little boy.
Is it possible that it was the postcards that cured him? Are the
doctors hiding something?
[By the way, I've always wondered about this: Before he became Caspar
the Friendly Ghost, was he Caspar the Friendly Terminally Ill Child,
Caspar the Friendly About To Be Brutally Murdered Child, or Caspar the
Friendly Horribly Mangled in a Terrible Accident Child?]
Finally, here is some poetry that was sent around my office this week.
It doesn't have any beans in it, so I thought you'd like to read it.
The Xerox Machine
The Xerox machine
on the 4th floor
will be moved on Friday.
instead of today
as was originally planned.
The Xerox machine
will be available
today and tomorrow.
If necessary please use
Graphic Arts
for any
large
printing
jobs.
-- dr foo
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "Cigarettes! Cigarettes!
|ARPA/Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | American thru and thru!
| UUCP/Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo| The Truest Taste of Freedom
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 | Is Cigarettes and You!"
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Date: Wed, 27 Feb 91 01:03:01 -0800
From: Kareem Du Gristle <gristle@ucscb.ucsc.edu>
Message-Id: <9102270903.AA08826@ucscb.UCSC.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Sallaque: the real thing
Last year, Rev. Skreee and I were cruising around Santa Cruz doing
some late night driving. I made an illegal turn at a confusing
middle of the road lane change guideline, and a cop pulled me over.
The cop said, "So, driving around late at night breaking traffic laws?"
I said, "Listen, its late, I'm getting slack, why don't you just let me
go."
The cop said, "Ok."
And let me go. Invoke the word of slack at key moments, and the world
will be your enema.
-Rev. Kareem du Gristle, Santa Cruz 25 Hour Clench
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End of Subgenius Digest
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