Today's Topics:
"Bob's" advice on tipping by Dave Barry
The pipe of bob?
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Date: Sun, 3 Mar 91 10:38:45 EST
From: drw@BOURBAKI.MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <9103031538.AA02721@nevanlinna>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: "Bob's" advice on tipping by Dave Barry
Some people are just cheap. I used to go to lunch with a group of
newspaper reporters, including one whom I'll call ``Bob.'' When the bill
came, we'd each throw in an appropriate amount of money, except for
``Bob,'' who'd very reluctantly put in a few smallish coins, some of
which were actually breath mints.
```Bob,''' we'd say. ``You owe more than that.''
``My name isn't `Bob,''' he'd say. ``It's Art.''
``We know that,'' we'd say. ``We're changing your name to protect you
from embarrassment when this anecdote appears in the newspaper years
from now.''
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Date: Sun, 3 Mar 91 17:28:26 EST
Message-Id: <9103032228.AA25722@sauron.think.com>
From: "The desk of ..." <adamg@think.com>
To: bss@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu
Subject: The pipe of bob?
QUALITY ASSURANCE
SPECIFICATION WAP-007
PAGE 1 OF 1
REVISION 0
PIPING SPECIFICATIONS
All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal centered around
the hole.
All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length.
All pipe is to be of the very best quality, preferably tubular or pipular.
All acid-proof pipe is to be made of acid proof metal.
Outer-diameter of all pipes must exceed the inner-diameter. Otherwise, the
hole will be on the outside of the pipe.
All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam, or
other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
All pipe is to be supplied without rust, as this can be more readily put on
at the jobsites.
All pipe is to be cleaned free of any covering such as mud, tar, barnacles
or any form of manure before putting up, otherwise it will make lumps under
the paint.
All pipe over 500 feet in length must have the words "Long Pipe" clearly
painted on each end so that the fitter will know that it is a long pipe.
All pipe over two miles in length must also have these words painted on the
middle so that the fitter will not have to walk the full length of the pipe
to determine if it is long pipe or not.
All pipe over six inches in diameter is to have the words "Large Pipe"
painted on it, so that the fitter will not use it for small pipe.
All pipe fittings are to be made of the same stuff as the pipe.
All pipe closers are to be open on one end.
No fittings are to be put on pipe unless specified. If you do, straight
pipes become crooked pipes.
Unknown source.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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