Today's Topics:
Lots of Money! Now!
Money and slack (2 msgs)
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Date: Sat, 6 Apr 91 14:47:29 EST
From: drw@BOURBAKI.MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <9104061947.AA00183@paley>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Lots of Money! Now!
This was forwarded to me. It seemed appropriate.
YES! YOU can be RICH! YOU can be RICH without working
a DAY in your LIFE! Its TRUE! Believe me, I thought
it would NEVER happen to ME, but NOW I am RICH! I
just bought $33,000 worth of whicker trashcans for
NO REASON AT ALL. You too can make SILLY cash purchases
without ANY work. HOW is it POSSIBLE? Its SO easy,
you wouldn't BELIEVE IT if I posted it here. TWO
months ago, I was POOR. I had no JOB, no ASSETS,
and I was covered with whipped cream. NOW I am THREE
inches TALLER, TWO years YOUNGER, and RICH beyond my
WILDEST DREAMS! The ONLY drawback is that I seem
to SHOUT every few WORDS, even when I WRITE! HOW
did I get so RICH? Its EASY! Start a PYRAMID scheme!
They are EASY to do, and its ALMOST LEGAL!
FOLLOW the EASY steps BELOW to FAME, FORTUNE, and if
you act NOW, a FREE GENUINE CUBIC ZIRCONIA RING!
1) Get a LIST of TEN gullible PEOPLE.
2) Send the FIRST five of them ONE dollar.
3) Put YOUR name on the BOTTOM of the LIST
4) DON'T tell the PEOPLE its YOUR name on the BOTTOM
5) TELL them to REMOVE the first name and move each
name up ONE position.
6) TELL them to make up their OWN lists of PEOPLE with
YOUR name on the BOTTOM.
7) Do NOT tell them WHY.
8) By the TIME your NAME gets to the TOP, there will be
about 93 BILLION people writing to YOU, SENDING
ONE DOLLAR EACH.
9) YOU will be RICH.
YES. It is THAT simple. For only FIVE DOLLARS you will have
more INCOME than most THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES! You could even
BURN the money in the FIREPLACE of your NEW HOME. You could
BATHE in the MONEY. As a SPECIAL bonus, send ME $20 and I
will send YOU a BOOKLET on HOW to AVOID HAVING to PAY ANY
TAXES on the MONEY you earn. Act NOW.
A Once-Sceptical Writer:
I was all alone in the world. I had no job and no way
to get back on my feet. I got the letter and was about to eat
it when I suddenly thought I would give it a try. I sent out
the money just like the instructions said, and five weeks later
I had $93 billion and now I'm planning to buy Mozambique.
I never thought it would work for me.
I. M. Real
14 Gullible Dr.
Scotia, NY 12312
Another Person:
I was homeless and had no food to eat. I logged into
VNEWS on the neighborhood VAX system and saw the ad. Within
two weeks, I had begged enough for the money to try the scheme.
Three days later, I had $93 Billion. Three days after that, I
was arrested for mail fraud, but at least I have food and shelter
now. I never thought it would work for me.
I. M. Notmadeup
Prisoner 93,000,000,000
Miami Beach Federal Prison
This WILL work for YOU. YOU too can be lounging on a DECK
chair in FLORIDA. YOU can BUY ANYTHING you WANT. YOU can
BECOME the next POPE. And you ONLY have to RIP OFF 93 million
people to GET RICH. What a GREAT PLAN. Try it NOW.
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Date: Sat, 6 Apr 91 15:27:21 EST
From: drw@BOURBAKI.MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <9104062027.AA00231@paley>
To: compass!worley@think.com, subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Money and slack
Ask any man whould he like to be a better man; and he will say yes,
most piously. Ask him would he like to have a million of money; and
he will say yes, most sincerely. But the pious citizen who would like
to be a better man goes on behaving just as he did before. And the
tramp who would like the million does not take the trouble to earn ten
shillings: multitudes of men and women, all eager to accept a legacy
of a million, live and die without having ever possessed five pounds
at one time, although beggars have died in rags on mattresses stuffed
with gold which they accumulated because they desired it enough to
nerve them to get it and keep it.
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Date: Sat, 6 Apr 91 15:33:31 EST
From: drw@BOURBAKI.MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <9104062033.AA00260@paley>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Money and slack
My previous message was a quote from George Bernard Shaw.
Dale
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End of Subgenius Digest
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