Today's Topics:
It's around here somewhere!
Latest Kooks magazine is out
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 8 Apr 91 21:35:24 -0700
From: Wayne Tvedt <datura@ucscb.ucsc.edu>
Message-Id: <9104090435.AA15670@ucscb.UCSC.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
On second thought, keep me on. Can I (oh please) get on the
Dr. Who mailing list too?
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9104091519.AA02916@beethoven.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu, Lang Zerner <langz@asylum.sf.ca.us>
Subject: It's around here somewhere!
Date: Tue, 09 Apr 91 11:19:31 EDT
Thought For The Day:
"The sooner all the animals are extinct,
the sooner we'll find their money."
-- Ed Bluestone
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9104091421.AA21754@juniper>
From: Eric Haines <eye!erich@uu.psi.com>
Date: Tue, 9 Apr 1991 10:21:35 EDT
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Latest Kooks magazine is out
Cc: erich@juniper
Kooks magazine #7 is out, and it's jam-packed, bursting at the gills, drippin'
through the floorboards, and even chock full o' weirdness. You don't read
this magazine, it embosses itself onto your retinas. Single copies are $4,
$15 for a 4 issue subscription. Checks, money orders, and all deeds of
ownership should be made out to Donna Kossy, and sent to The Out-of-Kontrol
Data Institute, P.O. Box 953, Allston, MA 02134.
As a sample to get you hooked and have you barking for more (their typos,
not mine):
Microwave Ovens - Do They Fit in the Martians Master Plan?
Microwave ovens pose quite a puzzle to the Martian watcher. On
the one hand he knows it is likely a Martian tool which could inflict
great damages to him while on the other hand he would like to take
advantage of it's convenience. Lets weigh its advantages against its
dangers. You can cook a snack or a meal in a jiffy, even if it lacks
earthly taste and color. There is much disagreement amongst
theologans over the propriety of the method which contradicts the
Bible and most other religious tracts pertaining to food preperation.
Another advantage is it's modern pleasant design, less unsightly
than other types of ovens and grills. However, it's television-set-
-like design should not be considered a fluke. You've heard of
microwave broadcasters and microwaves being used to spy on people
across the globe. Well your oven may be spying on you right now, or it
may be beaming a subliminal message into your brain. Why do you think
so many housewives have put their pets into ovens, ostensibly to "dry
them off" only to be killed or scarred forever by the sight of Fido
exploding. Many see a direct correlation between these incidents and
the mutilation of livestock and the abduction of pet cats by "UFOs" in
the remote western areas. Did you ever wonder why stewardesses seem so
inhuman. Probably because of their frequent contact with the ovens.
Experts claim that microwaves cause cataracts. Is it possible
that the Martians want a myopic world? More likely the microwaves are
used as a sight interval regulator much like flourescent lighting, the
strain of which causes the cataract to form.
One place they come from are the mysterious Amana colonies. They
are an old and isolated "religious" cult which produces the very
instruments of technological advance most christian cults avoid like
the devil. Like most cults it is difficult to find out the true story
of their worship because they are closed to outsiders. Most likely
they are not inbreds like the other cults but a long standing Martian
colony which works quietly to help control us.
Send Donna bucks to find out if "YOU may already BE half martian - AND NOT
KNOW IT!" and other important data.
Eric Haines
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
