Today's Topics:
"Bob" puts in another appearance!
brain disease
Have the X-ists arrived?
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Date: Fri, 7 Jun 91 10:59:56 EDT
From: Dale Worley <worley@compass.com>
Message-Id: <9106071459.AA16977@sn1987a.compass.com>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: "Bob" puts in another appearance!
>From a recent Dave Barry column, about giving after-dinner speeches:
As the speaker, you are expected to eat this food without special
tools. As an additional challenge, many clubs and organizations like to
put you at a ``head table'' up on a stage, facing the audience, so
everybody can watch you eat. One time I gave a speech to a convention of
certified pension actuaries (motto: ``Fun Dudes Having Fun''). There
were 2,000 of them, filling an enormous hotel ballroom, and, apparently
as a prank, they put me at a tiny table right in the center of the stage
with ONE OTHER PERSON, named ``Bob''.
Dale
Dale Worley Compass, Inc. worley@compass.com
- --
So far as one desires, one is alive.
So far as one satisfies one's desires, one is free.
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Message-Id: <9106071852.AA02967@beethoven.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: brain disease
Date: Fri, 07 Jun 91 14:52:08 EDT
It's a joke today, but someday this'll be real!
} Subject: RISKS DIGEST 11.84
} From: RISKS Forum <risks@csl.sri.com>
} Date: Thu, 6 Jun 91 14:09:31 EDT
}
} MAN CATCHES COMPUTER VIRUS!
} Bizarre illness jamming up his brain waves!
}
} Caption: SICK COMPUTER passed on a bizarre virus to programmer John
} Stevens, above, after it became ill from an infected software program.
}
} By Michael Todd, Special Correspondent, {Weekly World News}, 18 June 1991
}
} John Stevens has a lot in common with his home computer: Both think
} logically, both like numbers and both are sick with a virus - the same
} virus! Stevens, a computer programmer who works out of his home in a
} Philadelphia suburb, is convinced his lingering and debilitating illness
} is something he got from his sick computer. And the victim's doctor
} agrees. "I've run every test I can think of to trace the origin of his
} illness," said Dr. Mark Fordland. "He has a virus, but it's not like
} any virus I've ever seen."
}
} Stevens, 32, said his computer began to show signs of a virus - a
} software program designed to eat up an destroy other software data -
} about a week before he got sick. "I was careless about borrowing
} software programs from other people I didn't know well," Stevens admits.
}
} Dr. Fordland, himself a computer expert, agrees. "Borrowing software
} programs from friends and strangers is like having sex with someone you
} don't know well. When you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone
} they've ever slept with. When you borrow someone's software program,
} you're connected to everyone who's ever used that program." Dr.
} Fordland concludes that Stevens' symptoms are identical to that of a
} software virus' attack on a computer. "Stevens has become forgetful,
} like something is eating up his memory, his data. He has less and less
} energy. He can't hold onto thoughts. Even an EEG (electro-
} encephalogram) of his brain waves keeps changing. It's becoming more
} and more erratic. "This virus could just eat him up until his mind is a
} blank and he's like a vegetable," the doctor said.
- - dr foo
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Date: Fri, 7 Jun 91 18:05:44 GMT-0800
From: "Joel S. Kollin" <jkollin@hitl.vrnet.washington.edu>
Message-Id: <9106080205.AA08032@hitl.vrnet.washington.edu>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Have the X-ists arrived?
Cc: -v@hitl.vrnet.washington.edu
Either I'm cut off from this mailing list, or the Xists are having
a hard time finding my forwarding address...hope they find it before
JHVH-1's Big Floppy Boots stomp down.
Rev. Kolonic
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End of Subgenius Digest
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