Today's Topics:
california!
CHG's
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 91 11:16:29 EDT
From: Joshua Glasser <shadow!joshua@uu.psi.com>
Message-Id: <9106131516.AA00289@shadow.ait>
To: ucscb.UCSC.EDU!gristle@uu.psi.com
Cc: MC.LCS.MIT.EDU!SubGenius@uu.psi.com
In-Reply-To: <9106131048.AA08658@ucscb.UCSC.EDU>
Subject: california!
california
we'll be froppin on that burning shore
cast out ngng
"bob" and connie there to sell us more
woton and nunu
xists destroy the world with a shaft of light
chilkat seeing that the mail gets through
maybe, mabye not
da da da da da DA da da da
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 91 11:58:02 PDT
From: "Don Templeton, Historically dtemple@alderon" <Don.Templeton@ebay.sun.com>
Message-Id: <9106131858.AA17083@alderon.EBay.Sun.COM>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: CHG's
Here is an essay I wrote a while ago, you may find amusing.
cat flames > /dev/null
Later,
Don
An Unqualified Opinion Of Why Computer Hacker
Geeks Find it Difficult To Write Personal Essays
By now you may have started to wonder, "what is a com-
puter hacker geek?" CHG for short, a computer hacker geek
is a person that spends most of their free time working or
playing on a computer. This person is usually the same guy
you would ask a computer question of if you were stumped and
no one else has a clue. In other words, a computer "GURU".
I am sure you know a few. A CHG is the guy that you never
talk to, but when you're having trouble with your computer
you go to him for help.
To throughly understand a CHG you must understand their
definition of a computer. The term "computer" to most peo-
ple means a machine that does computations or processes
data, and could be as large as a mainframe or as small as a
Commodore ("Commode", to the CHG) VIC 20. To a CHG there is
no discussion - a "real" computer is the one THEY use. For
myself and the fellow geeks I work with, it's a Sun Worksta-
tion or a Cray! No, none of us have really worked on a
Cray, but if given the opportunity, we would because any-
thing that fast must be a REAL computer. To the clique of
CHG's that I work with, a IBM PC is a poor excuse for a com-
puter and a DEC MicroVAX is no better.
CHG's have computer in place of children or pets.
CHG's usually have computers coming out of their ears. A
CHG typically has several computers at work and at home. I
myself have two machines at work that are mine to use
exclusively, and another 20 or 30 that I use occasionally to
access important information, or to torture. Thats not all,
when I am at home I may decide that I want to compute PI to
the 2000th decimal place, so I have another Sun Workstation
and a 80386 system not to mention an old Sun2 system that I
am building for a friend. At one time I was worse, I had a
second Sun2 Workstation that I gave away, and a PC that I
sold. The PC makes a great door stop or paper weight!
CHG's communicate on a different wavelength. I am sure
that if you did a study of CHG's, you would find that as
kids they were the ones that ordered those secret decoder
rings and learned Morse code or signal flags. It's easy not
to communicate with someone if they can't understand your
- 2 -
language, and CHGs have a language all their own. Well I
wouldn't really call it a language all to its own, but a way
of replacing normal English words with computer commands
that have the same or similar meaning to a computer. As an
example: Frank: "Hey Bob, have you seen Bill today? I've
been grepping for him for hours." Bob: "Yeah, he control
D'ed hours ago". In the first sentence grepping is the verb
whereas grep is the unix command to search for something in
a file. In the second sentence control D to UNIX means to
exit the shell or logout, ie: Bob went home. Because of
this cryptic means of communication CHG's are usually
alienated from mainstream society, and interaction to non
CHG's is limited or nonexistant.
On top of substituting computer keywords for normal
words, there is a whole slew of acronyms to choose from. It
seems like every day there are new acronyms invented. Being
a CHG and computing (thinking) that I was up on most of the
latest acronyms the other day, I was perplexed. I received
electronic mail (e-mail) from the VP of Information
Resources (VPIR) that was addressed to the entire company.
On the first line I saw it mentioned "EMG". It had me
stumped. I must have read that message 3 or 4 times and I
couldn't figure what it stood for, so I e-mailed the VPIR,
asking him what an EMG was. Later on that day I went to
lunch with some fellow CHG's and we discussed it, but none
of us had decoded its meaning. The answer finally arrived -
Executive Management Group. I thought to myself, "the guy
who thought this one up must have been a bean counter
(MBA)".
CHGs think in binary. Binary is the counting system
used on a computer, black and white (ones and zeros, actu-
ally). To a computer there is no gray - as it is for a CHG.
That is why when you talk to a CHG and ask him a question
the answer is typically yes or no unless you are enquiring
about command syntax. This is the primary reason why it is
difficult for a CHG to write about their personal opinions,
as all opinions are either yes or no. Maybe some day when
fuzzy logic is predominant, then CHG's will be more verbose.
One of the driving forces behind the CHG's that I know
is to torture computers. You may ask, "How could you tor-
ture a computer?" Run a program that uses up all available
resources to a point that you render the computer useless to
anyone who wants to use it. This is most frequently done on
a fellow CHG's system when they are trying to play their
favorite video game. By now, you must be wondering how this
- 3 -
pertains to why a geek can write. Quite simply, their drive
and motivation is 180 degrees off from the norm to a point
that they find it difficult to relate to a non computer
DWEEB. Their sole interest and inspiration is the computer,
and they don't spend much time thinking about anything else.
As you can see a CHG is not your typical college stu-
dent. I remember how difficult it was when I first went
back to college. I sat in an English class and was asked to
write something on paper! I had difficulty trying to com-
municate with such an archaic form of communication such as
a pencil. Communication in general is tough without the use
of computer buzz words and acronyms. An analogy that can be
drawn is that of a Chinese student that doesn't understand
English. They think in Chinese and must translate the words
into their language so they can think about it, the same is
true for a devote computer geek. A CHG usually is thinking
about a new program or new piece of hardware. It is seldom
that a CHG has to think about how they feel about things.
For instance - the style of a new keyboard or the ergonomics
of a new system chassis or for heaven sake, the weather.
CHG's would rather deal with a computer than another person.
This is usually the reason why a CHG is the way they are
unless their parents are CHG's as well. To wrap things up,
if you ask a CHG to write about a meaningful event in their
life, they will probably come back with something like when
they got their first system or when they wrote their first
program or what you are now holding in your hand - in other
words, not exactly what you would expect..
Don Templeton
10-17-90
----- End Included Message -----
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
