Today's Topics:
Pink? or Red-Neck?
that list
WRONG WRONG WRONG (re: your
Your family tree doesn't fork (2 msgs)
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Date: Thu, 11 Jul 91 21:08:30 EDT
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Message-Id: <9107120108.AA26697@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
That last message was a series of Pobucker jokes, obviously designed , in much as it were possible, the very elect. Many great Subs are nominally of
PoWhiteTrash affiliation, and the implication that all such are PinkBoisz is
racist in the worst possible way---it ignores the presence of certain members
of the MasterKey Race, us.
Rev. Trailor Parklane-Hospital.
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From: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Message-Id: <9107111715.AA07820@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Pink? or Red-Neck?
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 91 13:15:10 EDT
} Subgenius Digest Thu, 11 Jul 91 Volume 2 : Issue 197
}
} Subject: Your family tree doesn't fork
}
} yOu kNoW yOuR A PiNk iF:
}
} Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help take the
} wheels off....
Actually, this sounds more like a list of "You know you're a Bubba, or a
Good Ole Boy, If..."
And that can be a might slackful life-style if properly pursued:
} You consider a six-pack of beer and bug-zapper quality entertainment.
See?
Besides, there's a lot of odd mutations up in them hills. Many a
Bigfoot homeboy has claimed the same set of grandparents on both sides
of his family tree in order to hide his Yeti heritage from the cruel
public eye.
Remember, Dr. Foo says, "Yuh jus' never know!"
-- dr foo
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos | "He doesn't have to shoot
| Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | you now."
| Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo |
| Phone: (617) 253-0184 / (617) 864-4248 | -- B. Bunny
| USPS: P.O. Box 505 Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Date: Wed, 10 Jul 91 22:28:45 -0700
From: 66016000 <gristle@ucscb.ucsc.edu>
Message-Id: <9107110528.AA24757@ucscb.UCSC.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: that list
Cc: banshee@ucscb.ucsc.edu, gristle@ucscb.ucsc.edu
I'll tell you, Bobby, your list is the PRIME example of a SubGenius!
yOu kNoW yOuR A SubGenius iF:
> Your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help take
the wheels off.
Hell if your *relative* buys you a new house, SLACK TO YA
Bobbby! If it has wheels, then it can have wings! If it can
have wings, it can have GRAVITY CONTROL! Nazi Hell Creatures,
Watch out!
> You've ever used lard in bed.
Now that band Lard with Jello Biafra/Ministry is the hardest
drivin piece of work since Doktors 4Bob did their cover
of Requiem! If you can 'bone to that stuff, then you
*must* be a subgenius!
> You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
Hell if its good enough for a Bomb Shelter, its good enough
for my SLAK tank on X-day!
> There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your home.
Bobby, if the TaxidermistsForBob find out that you think
stuffin varmint is Pink, they gonna skin you alive and
eat your brains!
> You consider a six-pack of beer and bug-zapper quality
entertainment.
Its cheaper than those ConspiracyCreated(tm) "movies" and
watching those damn pesky Heliopters perish is a treat for
the kids!
> Less than half the cars you own run.
Thats cause they are used for parts for the UFO, bobby!
> Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before
telling the state patrolman to "kiss her ass."
Now do you think Connie Dobbs would remove that Marlboro
from those Lipz(tm) when she fried a patrolman?
> The primary color of your car is "Bondo".
Hey, its INVISIBLE when moving past 300 mph! And its
radiation proof!
> Directions to your house include "turn off the paved road".
Didn't you read "Bob and the Oxygen Wars" by Waves Forest in
the Three Fisted Tales for Bob? Any true sub wouldn't live
in an oxygen starved "metroantipolis".
> You honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and
seductive tongue gestures.
Find me a SubLady who doesn't, and I'll make sure she gets to
Dobbstown for Leadership Training!
> Your family tree does not fork.
Listen, Robert, I am PURE YETI!
> Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
"Big Hair is actually a mathematical approixmation of the Luck Plane"
-Bob from "Hairspray"
> You've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba" during a piano
recital.
Any pinkboy who doesn't yell that to me when I play piano
gets a pipe through the skull!
> Your mother has ever been involved in a fistfight at a high
school sports event.
My mommy ROCKS YOU WORLD! and she kicks the SHIT Out of those
suburban scumbags! A pure SubGenius through and through!
> The Neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
I have 6666666666 watts of lights outside my home! And they
spell out the entire SubGenius Art Manifesto!
> Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.
Pure yeti Genetic engineering. Great for hardy space cowboys!
> You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and
the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.
Second only to "Slacker" this film about dupping the Conspiracy
via Inferior Automotive Power is definitely a classic. A must
for all Dobbstown Initiates.
> The rear tires on your car are twice as wide as the front ones.
wanna race me, pink boy?
> You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
In order to defeat (or smoke) the enemy, one must know the
face of the enemy. Elvis, the AntiDobbs. I keep a portrait
in every room. Right next to my picture of Tony Alamo.
> More subgenius stuff deleted...
So listen, Bobby, stop trying to define a SubGenius so accurately! You are
gonna give the young SubG's too many ideas! Let them create on their own!
Rev. Kareem du Gristle, Santa Cruz 25 Hour Clench
Send 1$ to:
The Church of the SubGenius
P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
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Date: Thu, 11 Jul 91 11:08:38 EDT
From: Joshua Glasser <joshua@ait.com>
Message-Id: <9107111508.AA22296@shadow.ait.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: WRONG WRONG WRONG (re: your
Reply-To: joshua@ait.com
phooey!
HA!
THE TRUTH (tm) for sale.
Contributions sought for a 32 page `zine to be called "Pipelines", now being
put together by the First Sacred Pipe Of Brooklyn. Print has been delayed due
to lack of material, and a couple of weeks of slack. The 'zine will be mailed
out to the about 1000 people on our mailing list. NO COST TO YOU.
I'm editing the thing. We've got about 13 good pages of rants, articles, and
ads; including a 4 page selfagrandizingbarrage by Buck Naked, and a REBUTTAL,
so, any contributions that you send me, that I print, will be in good company.
Please post contributions to the LIST, or send them to me directly.
Artwork, pictures, or ready for photoreproduction layouts should be mailed to
me, at the address below. Originals will be returned only if a SASE is
included.
This thing is going out in about 3 weeks.
If you want to recieve it, you'll have to get on our mailing list. THAT will
cost you. You've got to mail a letter to the FSPOB with $1 or more requesting
our tract, or otherwise with a damn good reason why you should get on it for
free. Of course, you can get on free with a true dobb's head.
Still a few teeshirts, etc, left from the May 31st devival.
XL, notthebeefiestbutstillagoodweightallcotton white shirt with
black screening. $10.
Big picture of "bob". Above, in MS-DOS'esque, it says "C:"BOB".KIL.CON 91".
Below, it says "The Church of The First Sacred Pipe of Brooklyn".
You can order them from the church.
Make checks payable to me or The Church of The First Sacred Pipe of Brooklyn.
The church's address is
The Church of The First Sacred Pipe of Brooklyn
145 Nobel Street #1
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Buttons $1. "bob", "The Church of The First Sacred Pipe of Brooklyn"+"bob",
buck naked, and lots of various schizmatics available.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
) (
/(_ _)\ Joshua Glasser
)^\\_\-=-/_//^( Artificial Intelligence Technologies, Incorporated
/o (@)/.\(@) o\ 40 Saw Mill River Road
\/ ^__ ^ __^ \/ Hawthorne, New York 10532
\|\VVV/|/ (914) 347 - 6860 Fax: (914) 347 - 3182
\\AAA//
\~~~/ UUCP: uupsi!shadow!joshua or uupsi!ait.com!joshua
))|(( ARPA: JOSHUA@AIT.COM
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From: Mike Leibensperger <mjl@lccma.bos.locus.com>
Message-Id: <9107111420.AA14609@lccma.bos.locus.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Your family tree doesn't fork
Organization: Locus Computing Corp./Boston, (617)229-4980 x169
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 91 10:20:30 -0400
Also, yOu kNoW yOuR A PiNk iF:
You fail to realize that pinkness is independent of socioeconomic
class.
Me, I'd be damn proud if my mama didn't "remove the Marlboro from her
lips before telling the state patrolman to 'kiss her ass.'"
Get thee behind me, "Obo".
yr obdnt svnt,
mjl
-- Michael J. Leibensperger <mjl@locus.com> "None are so deeply enslaved Locus Computing Corp./Boston as those who falsely believe 25 Burlington Mall Road they are free." Burlington MA 01803, (617)229-4980 x169 -- J. W. von Goethe------------------------------
Date: Thu, 11 Jul 91 13:46:48 EDT From: "Mark S. Day" <mday@brokaw.lcs.mit.edu> Message-Id: <9107111746.AA18221@brokaw.LCS.MIT.EDU> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: your family tree doesn't fork
The writer seems to have confused being "pink" with being a "dirtball" (the latter term due to "Zippy").
Lots of the activities described seem highly slackful (wearing a tube top to a wedding, using lard in bed...)
--Mark
High Priest First Church of the Cute, Cuddly, and Randomly Violent
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End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
