Today's Topics:
and checking it twice...
jishaku zya arimasen
WRONG WRONG WRONG (re: your
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Date: Fri, 12 Jul 91 11:09:50 PDT
From: "M. Strata Rose" <strata@america.telebit.com>
Message-Id: <9107121809.AA28531@america.TELEBIT.COM>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: and checking it twice...
I'm sooo glad that someone's finally made a comprehensive list
of all the things NOT to do to demonstrate mindless obedience to
higher authority. We should all follow it zealously, lest we stray
from the slackful path, right buoys and gulls? The sea-monkey on the
back of old man Hemingway stands as a brass dire warning, pawing at
us from the straits and narrows path, bridging the gulf of the war between
pink and slack, rushing like the mighty Tacoma.
It's a GOOD life, isn't it?
_Strata
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To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: mturyn@psyche.mit.edu
Reply-To: kddlab!atr-la.atr.co.jp!todd@uunet.uu.net
Subject: jishaku zya arimasen
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 91 17:44:44 V
Message-Id: <2780.679308284@atr-la>
From: Todd Kaufmann <kddlab!atr-la.atr.co.jp!todd@uunet.uu.net>, odd
> could also mean
> magnetism's Sai-under-heaven temple
> ---probably a case of the Japanese taking the Firesign Theatre 's ``Temple
> of the Electrician'' a bit too literally---THEREBY MAKING THIS A MANIFESTERATION
> OF THE DREADED BOZO CULT.
>
> ---Rev. Nolan Boyd
> Temple of the Praeteritician.
$@%L%C%k$H%t%)%$%I(J-$@@h@8!"(J
thank you for your in-depth interpretation. It may shed some light
on the strange reception here. Mostly, though, I am receiving
channels which I have never picked up before.
The mis-transmission last time of kanji codes may be the partial cause
of your interpretation. I hope you receive them well this time (at
worst you'll need to add a couple escapes).
Your interpretation also points to powerful new obfuscation tools, if this
method can be properly formalized. I may try to apply this to some texts in
the coming days. Watashi no habukurafutto wa, unagi ga ippai desu.
There are some accumulated eddies of slack to be found, but there is
also an ever-widening gap between those with slack and those who are
under CONtrol. None of the slack seems to make it to the ex-ports.
If possible, I'll try to make a thermos bottle through customs.
yours in pataphysical research,
rev. stucco toast
$@<+NO$N2<E7:M;{(J
jiryoku no getensai-ji
(Saving power of subgenius temple)
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To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: WRONG WRONG WRONG (re: your
From: ercn67@castle.edinburgh.ac.uk
Date: Fri, 12 Jul 91 16:33:14 GMT
Message-ID: <9107121633.aa27203@castle.ed.ac.uk>
You were after an article for some slack publication. Use this if it's
any good to you. Credit it to "Friends of Fernando Poo" if you wanna use
it.
_________________________________________________________________________
The First Epistle of JC's New Agent
===================================
Welcome back JC, and if I might say so that was a very nice entrance. I
especially liked the thunderflashes. Nice touch that.
I've been appointed as your public relations specialist. I'll be
handling things on this tour. Things have changed a bit since you were
last here and you've really got to get expert advice if you're going to
project the right image, and image is everything these days.
I'd like you to know that I already feel involved here. We were very
keen to have this account and I`d personally have sold my soul to the
Devil to do this gig. No, just kidding.
Well first thing is we'll have to get you a haircut. The long hair thing
went out with the sixties. It's clean cut with an edge now. Best lose
the sandals and the smock too. The tailors will be in later to get your
details.
It's a shame about the colour really, it's not what we expected from
your pictures. Not that anyone's prejudiced here you understand, it's
just that the viewers tend to relate better to the Pat Robertson look
you know. Still, we can play the ethnic card here but let's try to keep
off the Jewish thing, we don't want to stir up any pressure groups right
now.
Now, the cross thing. We've had a brainstorming session on this one and
we've decided that it's a bit old hat. Best to project a
shiny-new-future ideal. The cross is really for the last two k years.
We've had our design people on this one and they've come up with
something great. We'll be getting a presentation on the new logo this
afternoon. We've got the stores ready for the big launch. Badges,
pendants, earrings, headed notepaper and bumper stickers are all ready
to go. We've got some stuff done in 24 carat gold for you to wear, just
to kick things off you know.
The Book too. You'll realise that they've been simplifying it a lot
lately, teh language you know, thou begat and all that, I mean people
just don't *relate* to it. We've cut down on some of the philosophy too,
folks just don't *read* that much. We've managed to get it down to
twenty pages just giving the basics, a few sound bites, a couple of
quotes, some backround to give the right image. We had to lose the
supernatural stuff though. The Occult is really passe now, what with the
child abuse thing. It'd really be best if you could keep off the subject
and be a bit vague if there's questions. We'll have our people throw
together some witty comebacks for you, just in case.
Now, the wounds, we can use makeup to start with, but we'll probably
have to get some surgery in when there's time. You gonna project
perfect, you gotta *look* perfect.
Some other things have changed too. You gotta meet the right people. You
are who you know. That means no prostitutes and beggars, except for TV,
and we'll use actors then. Best to keep away from political agitators,
it's the sort of thing that can come up at a Senate hearing.
About the miracles. That's good, people go for that sort of stuff. No
raising the dead though, the Moral Majority will freak out at that, and
the networks won't carry it. The water into wine thing, well with the
health kick, it'd mebbe be better the other way around. There might be
some possibility of ads for the wine industry though. I'll look into it.
The Parables too. They're great, really, my kids love them. It's just
that some of them are a bit long winded and obscure. If you could keep
it snappy and maybe explain them a bit it'd help a lot. Keep away from
the rich man and heaven bit though, can't have you attacking free
enterprise, the FBI will mark you down as a communist. Don't call a
donkey an "ass" either, the word ain't allowed on TV.
Church has changed a bit too. There's a lot of money in it. Now your
file says that you got a tad upset at this last time round. We think
that the best thing to do here is to use it, get some drama in, show the
Church who's boss. The thing is that we can't have you tipping over the
collection pots and the souveneir tills. People *like* money you see.
What we thought was that maybe you could just swing a big cross around a
bit, like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. Did you see that? I thought it
was just great, well anyway, maybe we can get a video and show you the
ending, just to give you the idea.
Frankly, I'm sure that this is gonna be a great tour. You're invited to
dinner with the President later. I understand that he'd like you to
cancel some of the show. He feels that all the earthquakes and plagues
could be a bit socially disruptive in an election year, and this
bringing back the dead thing, well, there's the employment situation to
consider. The economy just isn't up to it at the moment. We'd be happy
to put it in our manifesto though.
Ah, here's the tailor, now which side do you dress......
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End of Subgenius Digest
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