Today's Topics:
Christian Drivers
Rapture/airline pilots/not a bad idea!
The Rapture
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Date: Thu, 15 Aug 91 10:37:08 -0700
From: Rex Black <rex@devnet.la.locus.com>
Message-Id: <9108151737.AA435223@devnet.la.locus.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
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> ...an article discussing the woeful state of affairs which would prevail at
> the rapture. Airline pilots disappearing, bus drivers whooshing
> away, CPA's going to Heaven in the midst of preparing YOUR taxes...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Sure! Right! Next you'll be telling me this article said there would
be _lawyers_ going, too! Yet another example of why so many intelligent
people are agnostics. Who could believe such drivel!?!
Rex
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Date: Thu, 15 Aug 1991 11:10 MST
From: Roo-Dog Rip <D_DURRETT%KAOS@vaxf.colorado.edu>
Subject: Christian Drivers
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Message-Id: <7927684E00007AB3@VAXF.COLORADO.EDU>
While driving across the country I saw some poor schmuck in Buffalo driving a
car with a bumper sticker reading "God is my Co-pilot." Fair enough, assuming
He passed the driver's test. But then the license plate holder said "Don't
Follow Me, I'm Lost!" So all these Christians really don't know where they're
going anyway, and it really won't be much of a loss if they are carried away
during "Rapture."
Roo-Dog Rip
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\Derrell Durrett <> --- _Hamlet_ II. ii, 584 /
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Date: Thu, 15 Aug 91 18:25:16 -0400
From: Douglas Humphrey <deh@eng.umd.edu>
Message-Id: <9108152225.AA15708@bagend.eng.umd.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Rapture/airline pilots/not a bad idea!
>moment of the rapture. Airline pilots disappearing, bus drivers whooshing
>away, CPA's going to Heaven in the midst of preparing YOUR taxes....
Well, The CPAs seem unlikely to me, maybe bus drivers (not any I have
known), but Airline Pilots? Not a chance in hell (so to speak).
I have known too many, and can state that not one of them qualifies
in the rapture raffle, at least not as I have heard the rules stated!
Now, consider what a fine place the earth might be after this rapture
thing takes place. Sounds to me like most of the people who suck my
slack would be cloud-bound, and any that are left wouldn't have this
"but God said..." kind of mentality, 'cause god would have come and
gone! So, sounds like a no lose proposition to me; don't believe in
it, but should it happen anyway, reap the profits (so to speak).
Rev. Wor Bar
First Clench of the Green Polyethylene
Slack in a Sack, Jack
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Date: Thu, 15 Aug 91 23:04:28 EDT
From: drw@BOURBAKI.MIT.EDU
Message-Id: <9108160304.AA02594@riesz>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: The Rapture
I also once read an article discussing the woeful state of affairs
which would prevail on Earth at the moment of the rapture. Airline
pilots disappearing, bus drivers whooshing away, CPA's going to
Heaven in the midst of preparing YOUR taxes. The picture it
painted for those left behind was quite dismal.
If "Christian" means "one who attempts to live his life by the
precepts of Christ", the Rapture will disappear fewer people than the
usual July 4 traffic accidents...
Rev. Ahenobarbus
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End of Subgenius Digest
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