Today's Topics:
``Bob'' in-a da news...
Bobtown/Nobob
Now hold on, boys!!!
Xian drivers and such hoo-hah
(plus 1 message with no subject line)
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Date: Sun, 18 Aug 91 12:18:23 EST
From: The Wandering Pedestal of Angst <crimson@wpi.wpi.edu>
Message-Id: <9108181618.AA22624@wpi.WPI.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: ``Bob'' in-a da news...
>Date: Fri, 16 Aug 91 23:24:09 -0400
>From: John Woods <jfw@eddie.mit.edu>
>This time, weather forecasters have identified TROPICAL STORM "Bob", and
>are predicting that it may WELL turn into HURRICANE "Bob" and SMITE the
....having just subjected myself to CNN for the purpose of finding out more, I
can say that it is going to be smiting NCarolina and Va [old stomping grounds
-- they deserve it! (evil grin)]...and I SWEAR I saw a Dobbshead in the
formation when the weatherSuit animated it...o but for a VCR...
Let's all go to Hattaras and worship Hurricane ``Bob'' by sacraficing surfers
to him-it-her-thang!!
Hell, send me $2.00 if you can read this for the "Sacrafice a Surfer for
``Bob''" Fund, c/o The First Orthodox MegaSpooTemple of the Squirting Yeti
Dobbs, Clench of the Unrepentant Gunman, and Shrine of The Sacred Bleeding
Head, 100 Institute Rd #296, Worcester, Ma 01609.
I will take my enterouge [sic] and personally hurl a surfer into the
deathwaves.
Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC
....or maybe I'll just take advantage of the warm waters washing up at Hampton
Beach 'cause of this event.
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Date: Wed, 14 Aug 91 09:31:09 EDT
From: Wes Morgan <morgan@engr.uky.edu>
Message-Id: <9108141331.AA09765@d.ecc.engr.uky.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Bobtown/Nobob
>
>From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
>
>Today on "Good Morning America", which has a wonderful soporific effect on our
>baby, there was a human interest story on two places in Kentucky: Bobtown,
>and Nobob (150 miles west of Bobtown). Nobob is also called "Flathead", due to
>someone getting hit by a piece of metal and getting one.
>
Having spent my youth within 20 miles of Nobob, I can tell you that this
town is one of the most masterful ruses in the history of the Church!
Nobob is one of the most Slackful towns I've ever seen. The businessmen
(what few their are) are wheeler-dealers after "Bob"'s own heart, always
maintaining an aura of trustworthiness as they fleece the human sheep of
their monetary wool. *Everyone* in town simply oozes Slack. A grizzled
old coot, who was whittling a block of oak while sitting on the lone "town
bench", told me the REAL story of Nobob. It's truly amazing.
Apparently, Nobob was once a rather busy little hamlet. The Con, then in
its infant stage in the US, attempted several infiltrations into the town,
hoping to affect the entire region. The residents, in a masterstroke of
wool-pulling, named the town "Nobob", and the ConDupes believed their work
to be done. Since that time, the Con has ignored Nobob, in the belief that
its residents were securely in the fold. However, Slack has been increasing
steadily over the years, without Con interference. I can state without hesi-
tation that Nobob is the epitome of Rural Slack; indeed, it may be the last
bastion of true Rural Slack.
Should a Subgenius be in this part of the Bluegrass State, a pilgrimage
to Nobob is a must! The residents are few numerically, but they tower
over us in Slackfulness. I gained more Slack through osmosis from them
than any ConDupe could give me with money or goods.
>You are advised to incorporate this information into you or your
>ShorDurPerSav's mythos as soon as is industrially possible.
To make your mythos a bit more "close to home", here are the Geographic
Name Server records from martini.eecs.umich.edu for "Bobtown" and "Nobob".
It would seem that a network of "Bobtown"s is slowly assuming control of
rural America.......
0 Bobtown -- city name
1 17129 Menard -- county code and county name
2 IL Illinois -- state abbreviation and name
3 US United States -- country code and name
F 45 Populated place -- feature description
L 40 04 34 N 89 59 17 W -- longitude/latitude
0 Bobtown
1 18071 Jackson
2 IN Indiana
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 39 01 10 N 85 56 46 W
0 Bobtown
1 21151 Madison
2 KY Kentucky
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 37 37 03 N 84 13 45 W
0 Bobtown
1 21199 Pulaski
2 KY Kentucky
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 37 13 04 N 84 32 13 W
0 Bobtown
1 42059 Greene
2 PA Pennsylvania
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 39 45 40 N 79 58 54 W
P 1008 -- population
E 1100 -- elevation
Z 15315 -- ZIP code
0 Bobtown
1 47031 Coffee
2 TN Tennessee
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 35 11 06 N 85 54 57 W
0 Bobtown
1 51001 Accomack
2 VA Virginia
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 37 39 03 N 75 47 37 W
E 27
Here's the entry for Nobob:
0 Nobob
1 21009 Barren
2 KY Kentucky
3 US United States
F 45 Populated place
L 36 51 55 N 85 46 27 W
----
Wes Morgan \ {any major site}!ukma!ukecc!morgan
Systems Administrator \ morgan%engr.uky.edu@UKCC
UK Engineering Computing Center \ morgan@engr.uky.edu
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Message-Id: <9108180924.AA24047@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu, dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Subject: Now hold on, boys!!!
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 91 05:24:36 EDT
} Subgenius Digest Sun, 18 Aug 91 Volume 2 : Issue 225
}
} Date: Sat, 17 Aug 91 16:58:33 -0400
} From: Adam Stauffer <ars@cs.brown.edu>
} Message-Id: <9108172058.AA27723@boris.cs.brown.edu>
} To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
} Subject: subscription request
}
} ------------------------------
}
} End of Subgenius Digest
} ******************************
Just hang on t'yer horses, fellas! I am sure that Mr. Adam Stauffer, of
uh... just a second... ah, here it is:
% finger ars@cs.brown.edu
[cs.brown.edu]
Login name: ars In real life: Adam Stauffer
Directory: /u/ars Shell: /bin/csh
Last login Sat Aug 17 06:35 on ttyp1 from hobbes
New mail received Sun Aug 18 04:33:27 1991;
unread since Sun Aug 18 00:39:57 1991
Plan:
Brown University Department of Computer Science
Watson Center for Information Technology
115 Waterman Street
Providence, RI 02906
401 863 7628
I'm sure that Mr. Stauffer, at the above address, does not want us to
interpret his empty post, "Subject: subscription request" to mean:
"Please! Please take lots of those ubiquitous Campus
Magazine Service cards, and sign me up for many, many
magazine subscriptions"!
I am certain he doesn't mean that! So DON'T do it.
I am morally certain he just meant,
"I am tired of slackless life on this ball of hell, this
planet whose own inhabitants have named it "Dirt", and I
wish a flowing e-mail source of slackfullness and
bull-doodads, but I just don't know enough to write to
subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu
so I did the best I can. Please sign me up anyway."
I am sure the net gods will smile on him, and that Hurricane Bob will
smite any that mis-interpret his honest shriek for slack.
But now, I'm also sure that the NEXT person who sends a Subscription
Request here instead, I am sure that they will be asking for the
Magazine Treatment.
You'll see.
-- dr foo
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos - Athena Training Admin. | "But first...
| Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu |
| Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo | ...a little Bo-Bo!"
| Phone: w: (617) 253-0184 / h: (617) 864-4248 |
| Campus: Room 11-311, MIT, Cambridge, MA 02139 |
| USPS: P.O. Box 505, Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
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Date: Sun, 18 Aug 91 12:53:16 EST
From: The Wandering Pedestal of Angst <crimson@wpi.wpi.edu>
Message-Id: <9108181653.AA26446@wpi.WPI.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Xian drivers and such hoo-hah
>From: joel s kollin <jkollin@u.washington.edu>
>Howabout "Warning: Vehicle unmanned in case of Xists Landing"
...nope. Try:
``Warning: Vehicle becomes multi-ton rolling ball of death for people like
yourself _when_ the Xists land in '98!!''
Rev.Dkr.Nick
--
Disclaimer: "I'm the only one foolish enough to claim these opinions as mine."
crimson@wpi.wpi.edu
jprovo@gnu.ai.mit.edu ad742@yfn.ysu.edu bbs.general@doomsday.spies.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...you want QUOTES? Well our .plans are limited now, so ask me for my file...
Blue Blaze Irregular Havoc In The Society: Bronnton of Atlantia
Mr. Half-Antlered M00se
Rev. Dkr. Nick LaRG0, ASC of the First Orthodox MegaSpooTemple of the
Squirting Yeti Dobbs, Clench of the Unrepentant Gunman and Shrine of the
Sacred Bleeding Head.
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 18 Aug 91 12:21:36 EST
From: The Wandering Pedestal of Angst <crimson@wpi.wpi.edu>
Message-Id: <9108181621.AA23608@wpi.WPI.EDU>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
While I'm at it, all you fellow SubDJs, patch in your phone lines and call:
The
Sounds
Of
SEX
1-617-940-4688
``Actual Recordings''
1.50 first min, .75 after
...makes fer _great_ sound effects for -ahem- radio plays...
Dkr. Nick
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End of Subgenius Digest
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