Today's Topics:
Slack in the Can
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Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 13:45 CST
From: Drink beer-live longer <RAMBS@royal.crc.uno.edu>
Subject:
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-Id: <0BA7117904DFA03D60@royal.crc.uno.edu>
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Date: Fri, 27 Sep 91 9:37:38 cdt
From: "Hannibal (Toal,Morgan)" <TOAL%GRIN1.BITNET@cunyvm.cuny.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Slack in the Can
Message-ID: <9109271046.aa07789@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
(From The Des Moines Register, 27 September 1991 [liberally trimmed])
$15,000 returned; all he wants is beer
By Patrick Beach
Jim Parker may have less than $15,000 worth of beer, but what suds he has
he's quaffing with a clear conscience.
The 55-year-old Ottumwa man, who's been between jobs for a year, last week
found a purse containing some $15,000 in cash in the middle of an Ottumwa
street. With nobody around.
[...]
Anyway, he'd just bought himself a six-pack and was heading down to some
land he owns to do some mowing when he spied the bag. He found an envelope
inside that held something like $1,500, and that's about when he figured he'd
better take it home for further investigation.
At home, he found the mother lode, a bundle of more than $10,000.
Parker found plenty of identification... So he drove to her home, where he
found her.
[...]
The woman insisted on giving Parker some sort of reward.
Turns out Parker had been pretty nervous having all that money around, and
he'd slugged down most of the six-pack to take the edge off his nerves.
"I said, `well, I got my beer all gone, but if you'd like to buy me another
six-pack, I'll take it.' She said, `Ten dollars will give you three six-packs'."
What kind of beer was it?
Buy that man a Miller.
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:: __ /\ :: Hannibal (The Oblivious) (aka M. Toal) ::
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:: \_/|\=== / / \ :: Grinnell, IA 50112-0805 ::
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:: | | \\ / \ :: "Deus in Machina" ::
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End of Subgenius Digest
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