Today's Topics:
Ten Ways to Really, Really Save the Earth
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Date: Mon, 30 Sep 91 17:30 MST
From: "James J. Lippard" <LIPPARD@ccit.arizona.edu>
Subject: Ten Ways to Really, Really Save the Earth
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-id: <092C207EBC9F42062E@ccit.arizona.edu>
You're already separating paper and plastic, recycling bottles and taking
three-minute showers. But is there more you can do to protect the
environment? You bet!
1. At the supermarket, try to pay with large denomination bills
whenever possible. A twenty-dollar bill has the buying power of twenty
one-dollar bills, but uses only five percent of the forest resources.
2. Get in the habit of referring to every locale as "this fragile
ecosystem."
3. If you must own a large car, be sure to purchase one with tinted
glass. Cars equipped with tinted glass stay three percent cooler
during the summer, making it possible to turn the air conditioning
down to the "medium" setting.
4. If you see a spotted owl, don't kill it. The meat tastes terrible
anyway.
5. A single toilet flush consumes five to seven gallons of water, and
the solid waste adds to already overtaxed landfills. "Holding it in"
remains a simple and effective way to protect the environment.
6. Americans account for seven percent of the world's population, yet
consume 65% of the world's energy resources. Apply for Swiss citizenship.
7. The correct way to recycle a glass beverage container: remove label,
setting aside tiny label remnants for recycling; rinse bottle with
reclaimed "grey" water; separate glass into five categories: clear,
green, brown, long-neck and pony.
8. One fewer wash load per month for every American translates to an
annual savings of 12.3 billion gallons of water, 23 million kilowatts
of electricity, and 15 fewer tons of phosphates. Buy seven more pairs
of socks and underwear.
9. Stop all "Ten Ways to Save the Earth" lists at #9. Environmental
books and pamphlets consume more than 580 million trees every year and
account for more than half of the world's sanctimony.
-- Tom McNichol
In The Nose, ninth one, p. 10
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End of Subgenius Digest
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