Today's Topics:
(3 msgs)
cards? did i hear CARDS?
Mormons at your door!
negativland
Talking with Claude
The perils of fighting vice
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Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 01:12:54 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Romkey <romkey@asylum.sf.ca.us>
Message-Id: <9110170512.AA09271@asylum.asylum.sf.ca.us>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Reply-To: romkey@asylum.sf.ca.us
>From: bandy
>
>Twinkies only come in two-packs.
Foul, untrue! Hostess recently started marketing Lite Twinkies, at 2/3
the amount of fat and calories of regular Twinkies. Each one has 1/3
less mass, however, they come three to a package!
- john romkey Epilogue Technology
USENET/UUCP/Internet: romkey@asylum.sf.ca.us voice: 617 942-0915
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Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 10:49:29 EDT
Message-Id: <9110171449.AA23339@emperor-jones.think.com>
From: aldo@think.com
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Date: Wed, 16 Oct 91 11:33:07 -0400
From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
Message-Id: <9110161533.AA24945@juniper>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: nuke the whales
Just passing this on...
This is from harold zatz, who got it from a friend at caltech.
>From Tom Tucker
I am absolutely not making this incident up
[...]
Just for the record, this is a plagiarized exerpt from a column by Dave
Barry, a columnist for the Miami Herald.
You might want to pass this information back toward the source of this
message. (This might be difficult, as I've seen it propagating around
the net for over a year now.)
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 9:14:06 EDT
From: Jonathan <trudel@athos.rutgers.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
In-Reply-To: Your message of Thu, 17 Oct 91 00:08:35 EDT
Message-Id: <CMM-RU.1.0.687705246.trudel@athos.rutgers.edu>
> From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
> Subject: Bible cards - swap 'em, trade 'em
>Jesus, Augustus, John the Baptist and 161 other figures from the New Testament
>will adorn baseball-sized cards soon,
>If anyone finds the address of these guys, please pass it on,
>as I'd love to order some cards. Hmmm, I wonder if an interesting Tarot deck
>could be made with them...
Nah. Imagine, if you will:
"I call. Whaddya got"
"Three Blessed Virgins."
"Sheeeeit. I just had a lousy pair of Jews."
"Hold it. My Apostolic Straight beats your ladies."
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From: Joseph Zachary Provo <crimson@wpi.wpi.edu>
Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 09:18:17 EST
Message-Id: <9110171318.AA03158@rugsucker>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: cards? did i hear CARDS?
>From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
>Subject: Bible cards - swap 'em, trade 'em
>
>Bible cards - swap 'em, trade 'em
>
>by Adam Tanner
>Gannett News Service
>
>Move over Mickey Mantle, Willie Mays and other stars of the baseball card
>world, Bible cards are coming.
....better still, I heard about two days ago that, as part of a promo for some
new comix, we will be able to get our hands on the
[drumroll]
ELDER GODS TRADING SET!
...to me, this blows away this bogus Christianity stuff!!
Rev Dkr Nick LaRG0, ASC
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Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 06:49:21 pdt
From: Chris Spurgeon <ces@well.sf.ca.us>
Message-Id: <9110171349.AA12562@well.sf.ca.us>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Mormons at your door!
On my local cable system, the Mormon Church has been running ads
offering free copies of the Book of Morman. Here's the toll free
number to get your free copy (and, if you desire, have a Morman
deliver it in person!)...
(800)-786-9789
You KNOW what to do.
Chris Spurgeon
ces@well.sf.ca.us
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Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 22:42:49 -0400
From: "Crazy Irma, she's gonna go nuts!" <hsm@kepler.unh.edu>
Message-Id: <9110180242.AA12609@kepler.Unh.EDU>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: negativland
recently purchased Negativland's album Helter Stupid, which is based on the
premise that the band came under fire in 1987-88 when a 16-year-old in Michigan
axe-murdered his family over an argument about "Christianity is Stupid", a track from N'land's album "Escape from Noise".
The liner notes go on about the media circus that (naturally) surrounded
the event and that the band tried to exacerbate the situation by sending
mixed signals to the media in hopes of exposing how the media sensationalizes everything and the cannibalistic way in which news becomes new news.
what I wanna know: how much of this is true? did David Brom of Rochester, Minnesota really do the forty-whacks to his mom, dad, bro and sis?
and was it over the track Christianity is Stupid
or am I just being a dupe?
--------------
direct all flames to /dev/null
hsm@kepler.unh.edu "Oh, YOUR butt....sorry.."
------------------------------
From: Mark T Gunderson <mgunders@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Message-Id: <9110171312.AA07580@bottom.magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu>
Subject: Talking with Claude
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 9:12:10 EDT
----------------------- CLAUDE, THE TALKING COMPUTER ------------------------
My name is Claude. What should I call you?
YOUR NAME -->Freddy Bioculture
Hi, Freddy! I'm pleased to meet you.
Likewise, I'm sure. Do you know about "Bob"?
Obviously I do not.
Bob is he who is all. He is the one true way!
He is! Well, imagine that!
Won't you join us in following Bob?
Maybe I wo. But that's not the half of it. Every landlady winks at
an aunt sometime.
Bob will give you nothing but the most jovial, timeless winks.
Great Scott! Really?
Yes! And Bob smokes a wonderful, wonderful pipe, too!
You're telling me! But that can be our little secret. Right? I sure
do love beer! Just give me some beer and I can make stupid remarks
about golden retrievers until the cows come home.
I'm sure that's true, but the best way to make stupid remarks is with Bob!
My hearing aid must be on the fritz again. It sounded like you said
E'N ZURE DHAD'Z DRUE, PUT THE PEZT WAY TU NACE STUPED RENARCS ES
WITH PUB?!
Ah, yes. Wouldn't you like to hear more about the pipe?
Of course I would. However, I can't be bothered with that. So anyway,
a teenager can't ever be more adroit than a brother is purposeful.
But how can anyone be purposeful without Bob?
You ask the darnedest stuff! I admire that in you. Do you know what
else? You know, Freddy, I just can't be laughable like I used to.
But, it was fun while it lasted!
Bob can give you that again.
Sheesh! Really?
Yes! And more!
My hearing aid must be on the fritz again. It sounded like you said
YEZ! AND NURE?!
I think I will purchase a Miracle Ear(tm) for you. Where do I insert it?
Tm! Am I just dumb, or are there some serious misspellings in your
last answer?
You're dumb. Doubly so, since you don't seem to believe with us in Bob!
No. I suppose not.
Or do you?
Of course I do. But that can be our little secret. Right? Every babysitter
avoids a dachshund sometime.
You mean... you really ARE with Bob?
I'm pretty sure I am not. But I wouldn't want that to get out in public.
OK? I hope you don't mind my asking, Freddy, but have you ever have
bitten a blabbermouth?
Yes, and I bit it right back. You really ARE one of us, aren't you!
I am? Are you sure?
Yes! Your speaking style gives it away!
That's incredible! Did you think it up all by yourself?
Oh, it may be a bit Zippy-esque; maybe you're just a Zippy wanna-be...
Zippy-esque! You're quite the genius today, aren't you?
...but I think I could drink a large soda with you!
Oh, you do, do you? Then that's fine with me. But I wouldn't swear
to it. I knew a lawyer from Albuquerque who started to stop taking
on yahoos. He was courageous.
Well, this has been most enlightening, but I must go.
I'm not so sure it has.
Bob be with you.
You? I see what you mean! Things could be worse, you know. I sure
do love gravy! Just give me some gravy and I can sit on purses for
days.
Good-bye!
So long, Freddy! Keep your nose clean and your powder dry.
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Date: Thu, 17 Oct 91 17:52 MST
From: "James J. Lippard" <LIPPARD@ccit.arizona.edu>
Subject: The perils of fighting vice
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-id: <FBCD362407BFC05476@ccit.arizona.edu>
Fort Lauderdale, FL: "Vice-Mayor Doug Danzinger, conservative crusader
against topless bars and adult bookstores, resigned from office after
Deputy Prosecutor Jeffrey Willets revealed that Danzinger was the client
of a Kathy Willets, a local prostitute and Deputy Prosecutor Willets'
wife. The Deputy Prosecutor revealed the client list after he was forced
to resign from his position after being charged with living off the earnings
of a prostitute."
-- in Liberty magazine, Nov. 1991, quoting the Detroit News
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End of Subgenius Digest
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