Today's Topics:
Coming Soon: Lawn Gnome Abductees attend UFO Con!
The Smell of Fear
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Date: Thu, 7 Nov 91 20:03:43 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Message-Id: <9111080103.AA26635@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
I 'll bet that it 's a book code referring to pages in ``The Joy of Cooking.''
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To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Coming Soon: Lawn Gnome Abductees attend UFO Con!
Organization: Locus Computing Corp./Boston, (617)229-4980 x169
Date: Thu, 07 Nov 91 10:14:53 EST
From: mjl@lear.bos.locus.com
Message-ID: <9111071014.aa03092@lear.Bos.Locus.COM>
Eric Haines <erich@juniper.eye.com> writes:
> I feel like I've heard this before, but here goes nonetheless,
>
> PRANKSTERS TAKE LAWN ORNAMENT ON VACATION
>
> [AP wire story about a lawn gnome abducted from Patterson NJ and
> taken on an extended tour of the continental U.S.]
This is *not* an isolated incident! I distinctly remember a ``David
Letterman Show'' broadcast in December 1984, on which one of the
guests was a little old lady from the Midwest whose lawn gnome was
abducted (By *whom*? For what insiduous _purpose_?). After being
missing for approximately a year, the gnome turned up in its original
lawn location, wearing sunglasses and bearing an envelope containing
photos showing the gnome in various locations such as Picadilly
Circus, in front of the Taj Mahal, Angkor Wat, etc.
What *really* worries me is the striking resemblance between those
reflective lawn spheres and the mothership in ``Starman''.
Though we have multiple reports of lawn gnome abductions, so far as we
know ``They'' seem to have stayed away from lawn Mexicans and
coachmen. I would recommend that household involved in a lawn
ornament abduction should inspect the ornament closely afterward,
especially in the area behind the knee, as this is the most likely
implantation site for alien trackers and biomonitoring devices.
mjl
--
Michael J. Leibensperger <mjl@locus.com> "None are so deeply enslaved
Locus Computing Corp./Boston as those who falsely believe
25 Burlington Mall Road they are free."
Burlington MA 01803, (617)229-4980 x169 -- J. W. von Goethe
Member of the League for Programming Freedom -- write league@prep.ai.mit.edu
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Message-Id: <9111072214.AA12460@mahler>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The Smell of Fear
Date: Thu, 07 Nov 91 17:14:06 -0500
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
- - - ------------------Forwarded item dated 31-OCT-1991 11:20:11.17-----------------
<headers deleted>
> From the Irish Times, Saturday 26th October 1991...
THE CHEQUE IS IN THE POST, NO SWEAT
The smell of sweat from men's armpits is being used to produce bills that
really get up your nose - and are more likely to be paid on time.
The British company which discovered and patented the technique is offering
the substance to respectable debt-collection agencies.
The secret lies in the sweat men produce from their armpits and groins. It
contains a pheromone called adrostenone, also found in animals,
which gives off a chemical "aggresion" message.
Sprayed on to the paper used for bills or mixed in the printer's ink, it can
have a subconcious effect on the recipient - making him or her more likely
to pay up, the company says.
Mr David Chaddock, managing director of Bodywise, which markets the
substance under the name Aeolus 7, said yesterday : "It's the subconcious
equivalent of red print. It says: `This letter comes from a person who
means business, who is not to be messed with'."
Pheremones are chemical substances animals use for communicating with one
another, but they are also present in humans.
Bodywise obtained its patent after setting up a trial in Australia in which
a firm selling mail-order cosmetics sent out 1,000 bills, half of which were
treated with Aeolus 7. It was found that 17 per cent more people receiving
treated bills paid up than those who were sent odour-free bills. - (PA)
Gary
+------------------------+------------------------------------------+
| Gary Stephens | 90700449@dcu.ie |
| Dublin City University +------------------------------------------+
| Ireland | Save the Whales. Collect The Whole Set. |
+------------------------+------------------------------------------+
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End of Subgenius Digest
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