Today's Topics:
New Rant
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Date: Sun, 29 Dec 1991 17:19:00.37 MST
From: sobotka%gc.BITNET@mitvma.mit.edu
Subject: New Rant
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-ID: <9112301109.aa17509@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Stand back, you sandal-wearing, goatcheese-chewing dupes, I'm Simonized,
vandalized, lobotomized, and primed to kick me some butt!
I taught Clarence Thomas how to put on a condom!
Why, when I was a young cub, my nocturnal emissions fucked up Russian radar!
I birthed the Great Buzzard of the Phillipines and rat-holed the afterbirth up
Sununu's keester!
That's right, baby, I'm a freak of nature...My nipples are hard enough to
scratch my initials into shotglasses!
You dottering spastics better take a nap, cuz I kill for sport and fuck for a
living!
I'm gonna blaze through this place so fast, the only thing you'll see is
yourself and a bunch of other slackjaws picking pieces of asphalt out of
your hair!
The only footage Geraldo is afraid to air on his cheese-smelling show is
the tape he made of me shin-fucking him with a nightstick! And HE paid for
the room!
Every Sunday morning I barf up fingers and ears...SEE IF I DON'T!
Ronald Reagan dyes his hair with the drainage from my head tumor!
I use a cactus for a prophylactic! Bend over and put on your helmet!
My sores are my business...and business is GOOD!
My normal body temperature is 105 degrees...My farts disintegrate cinderblocks!
MAGMA SQUATTER BANDAID FOR JESUS!
Genghis Khan ran from my feces!
My boner kicked the shit out of Mike Tyson!
My Jonestown breath makes police cry and senators swoon!
Charles Manson writes me love poetry and Jeffrey Dahmer bakes me cookies!
My armpits WILL give you cancer. GET THE FUCK AWAY.
-- Fred VoodooMaster Sobotka Ruler of Refuse, The Great Redneck Hope sobotka%gc.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu fsobotka@isis.cs.du.edu aufrs@acvax.inre.asu.edu------------------------------
Date: Mon, 30 Dec 91 13:01:20 EST From: Theodore Alpert <alpert@gandalf.umcs.maine.edu> Message-Id: <9112301801.AA01618@gandalf.umcs.maine.edu> To: SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: subscribe
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End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
