Today's Topics:
one more, I can't resist
the Power Team
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Date: Wed, 26 Feb 92 14:39:41 -0500
From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
Message-Id: <9202261939.AA05643@hemlock>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: one more, I can't resist
The "News of the Weird" newsletter I quoted from yesterday has one more I just
cannot resist:
- The British Satellite Broadcasting Company has developed a new TV series,
whose introduction is imminent, called, ''Heil, Honey, I'm Home''-featuring
Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun living next door to a Jewish family in Hollywood
in the 1960s. Sneak-preview audiences complained that the series was too
sympathetic to Hitler, but a producer said Hitler ''will clearly come off
the loser in domestic disputes.''
--Eric (157th Incarnation of the Inexorable World Egg)
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Message-Id: <m0lJcEC-0000VbC@vishnu.reed.edu>
Date: Wed, 26 Feb 92 19:56 PST
From: Nelson Minar <nelson@reed.edu>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: the Power Team
The Power Team is absolutely fantastic. Make a point of seeing these
body builders for Jaysus, for they are a show not to be missed.
The show starts out with rock music blaring out of speakers. An announcer
hypes the crowd up, everyone starts yelling (Christianly), and out come
the Power Team!, 7 huge musclely guys, led by John Jacobs (his name is
my name too).
John prays for awhile. We all pray. We pray for Jaysus.
John then breaks bricks with his head, for Jaysus. Jaysus made him break
bricks, Jaysus let him break those bricks, and by God, Jaysus told John
to break bricks with his head.
Other boys lift huge tree trunks, break ice with their arms, etc. At every
show, they pitch for money, telling us they have to bring Jaysus to schools
all over the world, and if you pledge $1000 you get a page from a real
old original King James bible. The holy bible, itself. Framed in plexiglass.
then comes the crowd clencher. John puts on *2* pairs of handcuffs - real
honest to god copcuffs, no kink (well, not much). The music gets exciting.
Everyone has just been primed to chant Jesus Jesus Jesus Heil Jesus Jesus
by John saying "give me a J, give me an E, give me an S, give me a U,
give me an S". John pants, John grunts, John strains at the cuffs around
his wrists. John asks for our help, gives one last orgasmic grunt, and he
breaks free! of the cuffs, the crowd at its feet yelling. A fervent moment.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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