When criminals in this world appear and break the laws that they should fear,
and frighten all who see or hear the cry goes up from far and near for
UNDERDOG! Underdog! UNDERDOG!
Speed of Lightning! Roar of Thunder!
Fighting all who Rob or Plunder!
Underdog, UNDERDOG!
Underdog is shown on channel 24, a paid-for-by-Christians station in St. Louis.
My favorite part is the commercial they ALWAYS show right in the middle of it.
It goes like this:
They play the Ta, ta-da-da-da-DA, tuh, tu,tuh, of the Superfriends and
a voice-over comes in saying:
"There is a more powerful force for good in your life than Superman,
Batman, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman COMBINED. That force is God, Jesus
Christ, and he can help you through your times of need."
It always gets me because if the announcer didn't say COMBINED, all the
kiddies would think, yeah, well maybe God can beat up any one of them,
but if they all work together, if they all co-operate just like on
Sesame street, then the Superfriends could take out God! Yeah, we
can see it now! Superman is duking it out with Jesus, and losing
because Jesus is God, after all, but then Batman catches Jesus in the
back of the head with a Batarang, Aquaman commands the octopi, and
Wonder Woman gets her Magic Lasso of Truth on him, and it's all over for God!
WW: "It's a good thing we stopped his plot, Superman, or else he might have
taken over the world!"
Superman: "Yes, and we couldn't have done it without TEAMWORK. It was
your brilliant plan, Batman, for you, Aquaman, and I to dress up like the
Three Wise men and arrive at this hut, on the anniversary of his birth,
where we knew his greed for Frankincense and Myrrh would take him out of
hiding."
Batman: "Thanks, Superman. All in a day's work for the Superfriends!
Now we have some Questions to ask him..."
WW: "And now he has to give truthful answers, because he's under the
influence of my Lasso of Truth!"
Batman: "Great. So, tell us, God, can you make a rock so heavy that not
even you can lift it?"
Jesus: "No! No, I'll never.. Oh no, I cannot resist, I have to tell
the truth, If I made a rock so big that I couldn't lift it, then I
would be the rock, which would be everywhere, and there wouldn't be
anyplace to move it, so the concept of lifting it wouldn't exist, no,
please, no more!"
Batman (cracking his knuckles): "Oh, we've got plently more questions
for you..."
-- "That's very interesting, Mr. Lovecraft, and very well put too, I might add, but I think we're looking for something a little different here at VANITY FAIR."------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
