Today's Topics:
any thoughts?
hour of rant - Bob Larson: anti-xtian extremism, &c.
President Jerry Brown
that`s no "Bob"!
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Date: Wed, 18 Mar 92 22:49:48 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Message-Id: <9203190349.AA24529@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
The Get-Out-Of-Hell-Free Card
-or-
Infernal Gates
Recently, a young man got irritated waiting behind a genial, pipe-smoking man
in a supermarket in the San Jose area; the smoker seemed to be taking his own
sweet time finding his billfold while attempting to purchase a container of
hot fudge sauce. Driven to the breaking point, the man plunked down approxi-
mately 3 billion dollars on the conveyor belt, which (seemingly of its own
accord) started-up, and conveyed the money directly into the casually open hand
of the pipe holster, who absent-mindedly stuffed the money in his left-hand
front pants pocket, oblivious to the fact that it formed a stack reaching from
there to the Moon and back three times. As he left, the gawky, impatient ice-
-cream buyer shouted, `Get a life!'. A faint smile seemed to play about the
sales-man 's lips as he caressed the pilfered coupon for butter-pecan ice-cream
clenched in his stark fist---or so it would have seemed to the untrained eye.
Now he had more than a life, more than the young man could ever know.
But do not weep for the young tycoon; in return, a total stranger was soon to
give him fifty cents.....
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Message-Id: <9203182253.AA26270@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: any thoughts?
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 92 17:53:25 EST
The following was posted locally:
} [1414] (somebody)@ATHENA.MIT.EDU Bogus_Thoughts 03/13/92 23:21 (31 lines)
}
} Subject: man to be arrested for abandoning invisible car
}
} In September 1990, a car I own was towed to Pat's Tow. About three days
} later, I got something in the mail letting me know they had my car.
} (This was after I already had the car back.)
}
} Wednesday, I got a letter from them reminding me that it was a crime to
} abandon a car in Massachusetts and that unless I make arrangements
} immediately, they will have me taken to court for abandoning a car and
} force me to pay for its disposal.
}
} Here is a paraphrase of my phone call to them:
}
} Me: I got a letter saying you have a car of mine. I know where both of
} my cars are, and as far as I know, you don't have either one.
} Him: What's the case number?
} Me: [the number]
} Him: Wait a minute while I look it up.
} Him (after looking it up): It was towed for street cleaning. You have
} to pick it up or you'll have to go to court.
} Me: What was the date when that happened?
} Him: September 4, 1990.
} Me: Oh. That. I got the car back after a couple of days. You don't
} have that car now.
} Him: Give me your phone number. We'll have to check on it.
} Me: I'd rather not give you my phone number.
} Him: Well you have to talk to [name] or you'll have to go to court.
} Me: No, I won't have to go to court. You don't have this car. If you
} want to take me to court to pay the non-existent cost of crushing
} and disposing of a non-existent car, that's fine with me. Good
} bye.
}
} Any thoughts for what I should tell the judge?
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To: Automatic Subgenius Digestifier <Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: hour of rant - Bob Larson: anti-xtian extremism, &c.
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 92 01:06:06 EST
Message-ID: <1415.700898766@ZEN.MT.CS.CMU.EDU>
From: Todd_Kaufmann@zen.mt.cs.cmu.edu
Cheap Thrills-
Always good for a laugh, that Bob Larson and his Talkback show..
He likes to have extreme individuals on the show, abuse them and the callers.
Very energetic and inquisitive (though mis-directed),
Master of the snappy church establishment comeback.
Monday: ``Extreme Satanism''
Rex Diabolos Church:
spokesperson for C.o.Satan, deputized by Anton LaVey
has a black house
with a firepit in the frontyard
always embracing indulgence
worked in US military psych. warfare
embracing psychosexual fetishes
good friend of boyd rice (now neo-nazi, founder of abraxas foundation)
consultant for portland police dept
Tuesday: ``Musical Madness''
Bob Guccione jr (Spin zine)
You'll hear things here you won't hear elsewhere, conversiations like
``Yes, I'd like to see copious amounts of christian blood flowing in the gutters.''
``.. folks, he wants to cut up us christians and kill us.''
Monday night he had dinner with a satanic priest (Boyd Rice), then had Bob G.
spend the night at his place.
He's on M-F, 4-6pm EST, on a radio station local to you (730am in pittsburgh).
Call your local station, and see if they carry him.
This is where the forces of light & darkness are fighting it out.
Bob has the fights staged, and they may be fixed a bit, but are certainly theatric.
He's also written the novel ``Dead Air'' and ``In the name of Satan,''
about ritualistic satanic abuse. (never seen 'em)
800-821-TALK (to talk) or 800-223-CLUB (to give money?).
In Canada or colorado, call collect: 303-980-6555.
xx
xx toast xxxxxx I have some good samples
xx pobox xx (codec/sunadio/mu-law)
xx 81795 xxxxxx from the show(s),
xxxxxx pghpa xx which i'll put out for ftp;
xx 15217 xxxxxx interested? -> send email.
xx
do what thou wilt,
and all that jazz.
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Message-Id: <m0lR6zb-0000W9C@vishnu.reed.edu>
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 92 12:12 PST
From: Nelson Minar <nelson@reed.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: President Jerry Brown
Mr. Brown made several TV appearances last night after a couple of primaries.
It looked like all 3 networks got a crack at the 3 major Democratic
candidates, so Brown showed up everywhere between 11PM and midnight, PST.
What did he choose as a background? Not a "Brown for Pres!" sign, not
a moonbeam, no. Brown chose to appear in front of the old compass & square
of the Masons.
It wasn't the symbol of the Ancient and Accepted Right of Freemasonry.
Instead of a G in the middle, there was some sort of thing that looked
closest to the letter "I", only it was more like a torch. And inscribed
on the square and compass were some Latin words. I'm not sure what they were,
because they kept shifting around, but there were *5* of them, and they
had something to do with labour.
Does one of America's unions have major Masonic ties, so strong that their
symbol is a Masonic symbol?
(extra Mason watch - one of Heironymous Bosch's paintings from the 14th
century has this odd little fellow with a bird's head, and he, too, is
wearing the ol' compass and square on his chest.)
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Message-Id: <9203181749.AA02634@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Date: Wed, 18 Mar 92 12:49:35 EST
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: that`s no "Bob"!
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
send $1 for amazing pictorial expose! totally bizzare!
a powerful new short durration personal saviour may be just $1 away!
The Bean Clench
Apt 2
7 pleasant st
potsdam, new york 13676
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End of Subgenius Digest
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