Today's Topics:
The King is Dead. Long Live the King!
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Date: Fri, 20 Mar 92 09:05:06 EST
From: Michael Turyn <mturyn@psyche.mit.edu>
Message-Id: <9203201405.AA02632@psyche.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Just remember: all hu-man conspiracy theories are screens intended to keep
you from paying attention to the Conspiracy (real as any of
them may be---remember, the Con creates realities as readily
and with as little regard for human life as Janor Hypercleats
rants).
all hu-man racisms are feeble attempts to distract you from the
Sub/human distinction that should be foremost in directing
your reproductive habits (warning: your kids might still want
to be like sitcom characters, instead of Warner Bros. or
underground cartoon characters).
all human hot-fudge sundaes are dumb linguistic constructs
designed to distract you from the ice cream ``Bob'' will
serve YOU personally, some day soon (parenthetical as this
subphrase may be, in a doomed attempt to maintain parallel
structure).
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To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The King is Dead. Long Live the King!
From: PeterZ@hypermail.apple.com
Date: Thu, 19 Mar 1992 16:16:41 PST
Message-Id: <Zukoski1.7199.2783866601@HyperMail.apple.com>
World Weekly News, March 24
[and the picture really is great]
Elvis Presley lived before as the powerful ruler of an ancient Greek
kingdom - and archaeologists have found a colossal 29 foot bust of The
King to prove it!
An extraordinary stone head was discovered near the ruins of Commagene, a
1st century trading center on the shores of the Aegean Sea. The carved
rock marvel is the spitting image of Elvis, right down to his straight,
perfect nose and his luscious, full lips.
"The statue is the likeness of Antiochus I of Commagene, an ancient ruler
famous for his generosity and kindness," says Dr. Pietro Abazzia, head of
a team of archaeologists from Naples, Italy.
"Antiochus was a great lover of music and was widely known for his sweet
voice and incredible good looks. It's an amazing concidence that he also
looks exactly like Elvis."
But reincarnationists insist that the statue is no coincidence - and that
instead it is proof positivie that Elvis lived before and was as great in
his former life as he was in this century.
They say records showing that the ancient ruler Antiochus had the same
musical talent and open-handed warmth that the rock and roll star had
incicates that his personality survived from one lifetime to another.
"He was successful in olden times because he was a wise and generous
leader and he was successful again in our times for the same reason,"
says psychic Andrew Bennett of Brisbane, Australia, a well-known expert
on reincdarnation.
"His love of music made him famous then and it made him famous in this
century."
[Perhaps now the flap about him being seen in a shopping mall, or seeing
his face in a tortilla can die down. Why worry? He'll Be Back!]
Pope Ridiculous the Sublime (or is it the other way around?), Church of
Sense as NonSense, First Karma Mechanic of our own local dharma wheel of
the rolling chapter of the transmission of the teachings of daily driving
and auto-motive maintenance
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End of Subgenius Digest
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