Today's Topics:
Cut me some Slack!
The Holy Mystery
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Date: Thu, 4 Jun 92 19:51:22 cdt
From: "Finagle, etc. (Durflinger,Edward M)" <DURFLING@ac.grin.edu>
To: SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Cut me some Slack!
Message-ID: <9206042122.aa08267@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
[reprinted without permission from "Ask Dr. Science" in the June 1992
edition of The Funny Times]
Dear Dr. Science:
How exactly does one cut slack?
Omar Khaddafi, Boulder CO
Very carefully. Slack is a gelatinous substane that is extremely
explosive. A close relative of nitroglycerine, slack occurs naturally in
deposits called "slack pits", usually located near gypsum or anthracite
coal. Mildly radioactive, and emitting a smell reminiscent of unwashed
athletic clothing, slack can only be cut by laster beam, or an extremely
sharp bread knife. Back in the twenties, it became all the rage to make
clothing out of slack. Designers of women's wear made an imitation of
men's pants woven from pure slack. The women who wore them risked their
life for fashion. Since falling down while wearing slacks was extremely
dangerous, women never wore them with high heels.
[whaddya think? "Bob" in disguise? Or NeoCon dupe? You be the judge. He
does, however, sell really nifty "Smug Mugs" with "I Know More Than You Do"
printed on the side...]
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Message-Id: <9206042125.AA10057@mahler.media.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The Holy Mystery
Date: Thu, 04 Jun 92 17:25:18 -0400
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
From: Maurice Forrester | mjforres@suvm.bitnet | mjforres@suvm.acs.syr.edu
>Wasn't it Eldridge Cleaver, in "Soul On Ice," who told the story of
>the Sunday school teacher who asked the class who could explain the
>trinity? The young Cleaver proudly raised his hand and the teacher
>promptly jumped down his throat saying no one could understand the
>trinity. On reflection, Cleaver thought it was just as well he was
>not given a chance to explain. He was going to make an analogy to
>3-in-1 oil.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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