Today's Topics:
norther sun- a love poem
religion in the news
seeing double, doing double, eating doube
the essense of slack
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Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 12:17:44 CDT
From: Rex Black <rex@iqsc.com>
Message-Id: <9207271717.AA20576@sparc.iqsc.COM>
To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uunet.uu.net
Subject:
> From: Reagen Ward <ward@hydra.sun1.mcsr.olemiss.edu>
> Subject: seeing double, doing double, eating doube
^^^^^
Sounds pretty darn unappetizing to me.
Rex
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 13:07:16 EDT
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9207271707.AA10042@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: The One True List <SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: norther sun- a love poem
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
regular shirts
--------------------
($16x4 for screens)+($6.45x50 for printed shirts)=$386.5 total
cost each: $386.5/50= $7.73
($16x4 for screens)+($7.20x25 for printed shirts)=$244 total
cost each: $244/25= $9.76
selling 50 @ $15each= $750 --> profit: ($750 - $386.50)= $363.50
selling 50 @ $10each= $500 --> profit: ($500 - $386.50)= $113.50
selling 25 @ $15each= $375 --> profit: ($375 - $244)= $131
selling 25 @ $10each= $250 --> profit: ($250 - $244)= $6
extra heavy shirts
--------------------
($16x4 for screens)+($6.85x50 for printed shirts, extra heavy)=$406.5 total
cost each: $406.50/50= $8.17
($16x4 for screens)+($7.60x25 for printed shirts, extra heavy)=$254 total
cost each: $254/25= $10.16
selling 50 @ $15each= $750 --> profit: ($750 - $406.50)= $343.50
selling 50 @ $10each= $500 --> profit: ($500 - $406.50)= $93.50
selling 25 @ $15each= $375 --> profit: ($375 - $254)= $121
selling 25 @ $10each= $250 --> loss: ($250 - $254)= -$4
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9207271658.AA12764@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: religion in the news
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 12:58:23 EDT
Shamelessly stolen from a month-old issue of The Nation:
Religion in the News
by Edward Sorel
MOSCOW -- Russia's oldest and largest university, Moscow State,
has for the first time dedicaated a building to an author who
is not Russian. L. Ron Hubbard not only has had a building
named after him but he has posthumously received an honorary
degree of Doctor of Literature. A large printing of
_Dianetics_ in Russian will follow.
SAN LUIS POTOSI', MEXICO -- Some of the thirty worshippers who
died during a church vigil believed that the dizzying effects
of the fatal gas were a sign from God, survivors said. Juan
Valdez and two other men who left the service early said
lightheadedness from gas fumes was common at the Mount of
Olives church in El Charquillo. "The pastor told us that what
we felt was nothing bad, but a manifestation of Christ," Valdez
said.
JERUSALEM -- Avadia Yosef, Israel's former chief rabbi, has
decided that it is permissible for religious Jews to use
trained monkeys to perform tasks forbidden on the Sabbath.
Monkeys could do such chores as turning on lights and washing
dishes, but, says the rabbi, they _must_ _be_ _borrowed_, since
any animal living in a Jewish home is beholden to Jewish law.
In New York, Rabbi Ira Youdin, of the Stephen Wise Synagogue
agreed. "It's a valid decision, as the Ten Commandments say
that no member of a Jewish household or its animal stock can
work on the Sabbath... Of course, I don't think my co-op would
allow such a thing."
JERUSALEM -- This past winter a blizzard snapped the rope that
encircled Jerusalem. This eighty-mile-long rope, know in
Jewish law as the Eruv, symbolically turns the city into a
single dwelling, thus allowing Jews to sidestep a ban against
carrying _anything_ outside on's house on the Sabbath. The
storm dumped more than a foot of snow on the holy city and tore
the rope in several spots. As a result, tens of thousands of
Orthodox Jews had to observe the Saturday ban on shlepping.
CLEVELAND -- Concerned about the proliferation of clergy
sex-abuse cases and the publicity syuch cases now receive, A.
James Quinn, a respected canon lawyer, has advised church
officials to send sensitive files to the Vatican Embassy in
Washington. The embassy enjoys extraterritoriality, so files
containing evidence on sex offenders could be denied a subpoena
order. Diplomatic immunity may be the only strategy left for
concealing sex-abuse crimes within the Catholic Church now that
"the confidentiality of the confessional" has been effectively
challenged. In a Michigan case, church officials fought a
subpoena on the ground that the relevant information was
privileged because the accused priest had confessed his crime
to his superiors. Although the tactic delayed the victim's
suit, it failed to derail it, and the Detroit archdiocese
agreed to a six-figure settlement.
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|Gary L. Dryfoos - I/S-Athena Training Admin. | "Life is hard,
| Internet: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu | And then you die.
| Usenet: ...mit-eddie!athena.mit.edu!dryfoo | ('cause God has other
| Phone: w: (617) 253-0184 / fax: 253-8665 | Fish to fry.)"
| Office: Room 11-311, MIT, Cambridge, MA 02139 | -- Burma Shave
| USPS: P.O. Box 505, Cambridge, MA 02142 |
+=============================================================================
[And a special "Hello" to the charming Madamoiselle il-Lizzit Zubstanze,
who has recently begun receiving, and enjoying, this Digest.]
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 13:04:35 EDT
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9207271704.AA10036@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: ward@hydra.sun1.mcsr.olemiss.edu
Cc: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
In-Reply-To: <9207260707.AA01034@ hydra >
Subject: seeing double, doing double, eating doube
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
who cares?!
i was hitchhiking
everything sold
pockets full of gold
in the middle of nabraskee
a man in a falcon stopped
he was smoking a pipe
that smile
that laughing eye
that mean eye
i felt real real good
he was gone
then, like a green laser [support the laser project]
right between the eyes, on the top of my head
how the hell was i going ever going to get a ride now?
how the hell was i going get anything to eat now?
he had sold me 3 square of alumimum siding
i had given him all the money i had
there it was beside me
i felt a coldness deep in my loins
damn my pants were gone too
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 27 Jul 92 13:38:08 EDT
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9207271738.AA10106@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: The One True List <SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: the essense of slack
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
(or, the revalation) by Rev. Willie "glandstew" MacAdamia
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
they started with spirts in a bowl
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
they fought each other tooth and scale
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
"Bob" was scared 'cause he knew they never fail
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
when that fish leaped that bean turned pale
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
when that bean passed wind that fish dropped scales
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
but, oh, how "Bob" took heel at their coming
and more than HIS was Connie's bumming
'cause she knew why HE felt dread
she cut off the crust from the wonderbread
she dealt the cards and launched the head
midstride in his exit "Bob" dropped dead
as the fish ate the gland from the back of his head
then the bean and "Bob" burst in on the sceen
Connie and fish and the waldorf supreme
there were six of the there, not to mention the food
and all agreed the grub was good
no ill feeling lingered in the least
and the spirt in the bowl conscreated the feast
it happened each sunday last of the following week
the killifish and the old fermented black bean went hunting
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End of Subgenius Digest
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