Today's Topics:
Divine protection on the roads
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Date: Tue, 28 Jul 92 20:10:26 PDT
From: Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.apc.org>
Message-Id: <9207290310.AA05959@cdp.igc.org>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
WEIRDNUZ.235 (News of the Weird, August 7, 1992)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* The Center for Marine Conservation reported in May
that items that had washed up on beaches from recent
ocean dumpings included: a refrigerator in North
Carolina, a washing machine in California, a car in
Delaware, medical syringes in double the quantity from
1990, 59 packages of debris from 15 different cruise
lines, and a container the size of a semi-trailer--full
of melting ice cream. The average weight of all trash
collected per mile of beach was 667 pounds. [USA Today,
5-22-92]
Government in Action
* The Seattle Times reported in May that some federal
agencies may erect hundreds of outdoor "shelters" for
their employees who smoke--at a cost of around $8,000
each. The shelters would probably resemble bus stop
shelters, to accommodate smokers in the cold or rain.
[Omaha World Herald-Seattle Times, 5-14-92]
* Recently, for almost a year, California's employment
disability agency paid wealthy physician Gershon Hepner
of Century City $266 a month on his stress claim. The
district attorney believes Hepner's "stress" was
brought on merely by his getting caught on fraud, grand
theft, and tax evasion charges--to which he pleaded
guilty and for which he is awaiting sentencing. State
law entitled Hepner to the money because another
physician certified that the stress was "job-related."
[Grand Rapids Press-L. A. Daily News, 2-17-92]
* The San Francisco Chronicle reported in June that the
U. S. Environmental Protection Agency's executive fleet
of cars averages only 6.2 miles per gallon, less than
one-fourth the federally mandated average of 27.5.
[Columbus Dispatch-San Francisco Chronicle, Jun92]
* In Noblesville, Ind., Judge William Hughes agreed to
move his courtroom one night in June to a van outside
the Deer Creek Music Center so that the expected rowdy
fans arriving for a Grateful Dead concert could be
processed immediately upon their arrest for drugs
possession and other crimes, rather than having to wait
overnight. "It's almost a courtesy to them," said the
judge. [[St. Joseph's News-Press Gazette, 6-29-92]
* In May, the Los Angeles Times profiled a 39-year-old
man who had been granted a license to sell guns by the
U. S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, despite
questions about his stability. The man admitted he had
been shot four times (by himself or others), once while
playing "fast draw"; has been hospitalized several
times for a history of "multiple personality changes";
and has had 22 heart attacks in 14 years. An ATF
spokesman said that only a person judged incompetent by
a court is prohibited from obtaining a license. [L. A.
Times, 5-18-92]
* A questionnaire that White County (Ark.) welfare
officials required each single mother to complete as a
condition of receiving benefits called for the
following information: when and where she first had
sexual intercourse with the child's father; how often,
when, and where after that first time; parties attended
with the father; names of any motels, bars, or other
places she went with the father; names of all other men
with whom she had sexual intercourse while seeing the
father; and the regularity and starting date of her
menstrual periods before the pregnancy. Use of the
form was discontinued after the Arkansas Democrat-
Gazette brought it to the attention of state officials.
[Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, Jun92]
Schemes
* In May, South Carolina Republican political
consultant Rod Shealy was found guilty of violating
state campaign laws in a 1990 scheme in which he hired
an unemployed black fisherman to run for lieutenant
governor against Shealy's sister. Shealy admitted he
did it to scare white voters to the polls to vote for
his sister. [USA Today, 5-14-92]
* A bank robber in Reggio Calabria, Italy, made off
with around $4,000 in an April robbery. He was unarmed
but, according to police, obtained the money by
hypnotizing a teller. [Chicago Tribune-Reuters, 4-17-
92]
* Mikhail Maley, defense advisor to Russian President
Boris Yeltsen, recently proposed that emergency relief
food and supplies be lobbed to remote areas of the
world in SS-18 intercontinental ballistic missiles.
Aviation Week and Space Technology reported in June
Maley's suggestion that six or seven tons of supplies
would fit where the nuclear warheads had been housed.
[San Jose Mercury News, Jun92]
* In May, after Kristin Warford, 20, and Richard
Payette, 22, survived their suicide pact, Warford told
the Kenosha (Wis.) News that the adventure "was the
singular most stupid act in my life." Said she, "After
[Payette] sliced his wrists, I'll never forget him
looking at me and saying, 'I don't like this. I don't
like this at all.' After a while we looked at each
other and thought, 'Whoa. This isn't fun. It's dirty.
It's messy. It hurts.'" [Kenosha News, 5-19-92]
The Weirdo-American Community
* Patrick Tracy, 28, was sentenced to 10 months in jail
in Stuart, Fla., in July for indecent exposure. Betty
Napier had accused him of peering in her window, and
masturbating, almost daily for the last five years.
She had called the police 30 times, but they were never
able to catch Tracy in the act. Finally, she set up a
video camera and provided the evidence. [St. Petersburg
Times-AP, 7-12-92]
Least Competent People
* According to Mayor Richard Daley, the April 13 flood
of the Chicago business district could have been
prevented if either of two things had happened: (1) If
inspectors had checked five bridges, they would have
discovered defective pilings that punctured tunnel
walls--but inspectors ignored four of the bridges,
claiming they couldn't find a place to park. (2) If
one inspector, who viewed a punctured wall, had
reported his findings quickly, preventive action could
have been taken--but he sent his photographs to a
drugstore for processing and had to wait a week to get
the prints back. [USA Today, 4-23-92]
The Diminishing Value of Life
* Clarence Schreiner, 81, was charged with killing his
wife of 61 years in Winter Haven, Fla., in June, using
a hatchet, rope, and butcher knife, and checking on her
condition several times in order to assure that he had
been successful. Schreiner said his wife provoked him
by denying him permission to buy a Cadillac. [USA
Today, 7-2-92]
END
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Date: Tue, 28 Jul 1992 08:47:39 PDT
Message-Id: <199207281547.AA10808@mitchell.EuroPARC.Xerox.COM>
From: Paul Dourish <Dourish@europarc.xerox.com>
Subject: Divine protection on the roads
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Organisation: Rank Xerox EuroPARC, Cambridge, UK
Cc: Dourish@europarc.xerox.com
Tokyo (AP) - A major Japanese tire maker has stopped making automobile
tires with a tread pattern that resembles the Arabic word for Allah
after receiving protests from Muslims.
Akira Mikami, spokesman for the Tokyo-based Yokohama Rubber Co., said
that in Islamic countries his company will replace the tires free of
charge.
The company also apologized for its lack of knowledge of Islam.
Mikami said the tread was designed by computer to maximize driving
safety and was not meant to blaspheme Allah.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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