Today's Topics:
Dreams of Rapture?
Fwd: little government of horrors
Gristle for the mill
Just in case... (2 msgs)
The Spielberg Five?
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From: "Melissa N. Matusevich" <mmatusev@radford.vak12ed.edu>
Message-Id: <9210282314.AA15582@radford.vak12ed.edu>
Subject:
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 18:14:49 EST
I do not know how or why I got on your mailing list, but I'd
like to be removed at once!
Thank you.
--
Melissa Matusevich
mmatusev@radford.vak12ed.edu
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Message-Id: <00416.2803212395.23131@instance.com>
Organization: Digitalk Professional Services, Portland, Oregon
To: Sub-Genius List <subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu>
From: Tim O'Connor <toc@digitalk.com>
Date: Thu, 29 Oct 1992 14:00:57 PST
Subject: Dreams of Rapture?
REGARDING Dreams of Rapture?
When I tucked the sheets around myself last night I smugly noted that the
news was not filled with stories of the massive disappearing of the Xtian
race from the face of the Earth. No horrible accidents as airplane pilots or
bus drivers were whisked off to Heaven. No meteorological effects caused be
the implosions of millions of human sized vacuums suddenly appearing. "How
will they explain this all in the morn?", I wondered.
Then, my brethren and sistren, I felt as if I was being lifted upwards with
great speed, I saw the ceiling melt before me as the sky became filled with
a great golden light and the rushing of wind in my ears was as the sound of
millions of voices singing in praise and homage. I was suddenly struck with
memories of my Catholic mother telling me that all baptised into the
Catholic church were shoe-ins for the Kingdom of God and was horrified by
the thought that a heavenly clerical error had not struck my name from the
lists of the blessed. Yet I did not want to go! (Would you?)
In a flash I knew what must be done. I opened my mouth wide and screamed at
the unseen hosts such epithats "Give me slack or kill me!" and "You owe me
$20!" and "Hey buddy, ya wanna buy a car?". A pungent smell like my
grandfathers private tobacco blend filled my nostrils as a comet screamed
from above looking like the Stark Fist itself! I felt myself struck full
across the chest and buffeted backwards toward the earth. The heavenly choir
turned into sounds of laughter as the golden light dimmed and I blacked out.
I awoke on my front lawn with two broken ribs and a sprained ankle. Clutched
in my teeth was a plain looking pipe, still smoking. My doors were all
locked from the inside and my family was still asleep. I sat on the front
doorstep through out the rest of that long night, sucking in the rich
tobacco to stay warm. The pipe lasted until my wife opened the door to get
the paper then faded slowly away...
--
"A typical long haired half mad computer programmer on a typical computer
keyboard with odd toys scattered liberally about."
------------------------------
Message-Id: <oevq5k200YUoALbVUh@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1992 22:58:40 -0500 (EST)
From: Peter Glen Berger <peterb+@cmu.edu>
To: Bulletin Board Administration <bb+graffiti@andrew.cmu.edu>,
Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Fwd: little government of horrors
Hilarious. Priceless.
---------- Forwarded message begins here ----------
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 1992 16:35:57 -0500 (EST)
From: Stephen Brent Peters <sp2q+@andrew.cmu.edu>
To: peterb@cmu.edu
Subject: little government of horrors
humm... just noticed that "Grow for Me" from little shop of horrors
could appropo. be perverted into "Vote for Me" with G. Bush singing
as the singing geek instead of Rick Morranis.
"I've given you grow lights, and big-buisness subsidies, what do you
want from me BLOOD?"
oops, I mean:
"I've given you bombers and ...
(can't go back and edit with mail)
------------------------------
Date: 29 Oct 1992 19:39:53 -0600 (CST)
From: Kai'ckul <CARRUTHERS@tkm.brandonu.ca>
Subject: Gristle for the mill
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-id: <01GQJ6HYMDG28ZDXXU@BrandonU.CA>
An excerpt from a dream I had last night:
Bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok
bok bok bok cluck bok bok bok bok bok peep bok bok bok bok bok bok bok
bok bok cheep bok bok bok bok bok bok bok bok puckuck! bok bok bok bok
bok bok bok....
Mr. Vomit
------------------------------
To: boston@lear.bos.locus.com, subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu,
jokes@lear.bos.locus.com, Steve Albrecht <albrecht@decvax.uucp>,
Mike Bauer <bauer@cgi.com>, Beth Harvey <beth@ics.com>,
Jeff Carter <jeffc@osf.org>, Caryn Johnson <carynj@east.sun.com>,
Charla Mustard-Foote <charla@suneast.sun.com>,
Chuck Palmer <chuck@westford.ccur.com>, Chuck Fumuso <cwf@zeus.cray.com>,
Dave Kearney <dak@mips.com>, Mike DeRiso <med@sei.cmu.edu>,
Scott Dietzen <dietzen@transarc.com>, "Daniel V. Klone" <dvk@sei.cmu.edu>,
Kevin Esler <esler@apollo.hp.com>, Mark Everett <everettm@cayman.com>,
Gary Oberbrunner <garyo@think.com>, Glenn Marcy <gm@osf.org>,
Steve Glaser <glaser@dsmail.lkg.dec.com>,
Gretchen Miller <grm+@andrew.cmu.edu>, Jack Burness <jack@kpc.com>,
Joe Mattis <jam@cs.cmu.edu>, Janet Marcisak <jlm@ftp.com>,
Joan Stigliani <joan@netcom.com>, Keith Rodwell <kr@oki.com>,
Oleg <oleg@veritas.com>, Faramarz Rabii <rabii@osf.org>,
Bob Doolittle <rad@think.com>, Roger Gourd <gourd@osf.org>,
Tony Schene <schene@bosco.central.sun.com>,
Steve Gilbane <steveg@sni-usa.com>,
Tony O'Connor <tony@westford.ccur.com>,
"James Toth,Esq." <toth@raven1.enet.dec.com>,
The other Andy Tanenbaum <trb@ima.isc.com>
Subject: Just in case...
Organization: Locus Computing Corp./Boston, (617)229-4980
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 10:33:33 EST
From: mjl@lear.bos.locus.com
Message-ID: <9210281034.aa03212@lear.Bos.Locus.COM>
Hey, if the world really does end at midnight tonight, I just want y'all
to know it's been nice knowing and working with you.
Actually, the proposed scenario is that at midnight local time (does
God take daylight savings time into account?), all the True Christians
get transported to a nice off-planet ranch house, and the rest of us
get to hang out for a few more years while the Really Heavy Shit Comes
Down.
On a related note, last night BBC World Service reported that police
in South Korea were placed on full alert---apparently "doomsday
churches" have quite a hold in Korea, and people have gotten rid of
all their possesions (to doomsday ministers, natch) and are gathering
in churches waiting for the Rapture. Korean authorities fear that
many will try to take their own lives when the moment comes and they
find themselves still on the planet.
Time ta Ragnarok'n'roll, I say!
Yours in "Bob" and the Fightin' Jesus, Swingin' Buddha, et. al.,
mjl
------------------------------
To: mjl@lear.bos.locus.com
Cc: boston@lear.bos.locus.com, subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu,
jokes@lear.bos.locus.com, Steve Albrecht <decvax!albrecht@mc.lcs.mit.edu>,
Mike Bauer <bauer@cgi.com>, Beth Harvey <beth@ics.com>,
Jeff Carter <jeffc@osf.org>, Caryn Johnson <carynj@east.sun.com>,
Charla Mustard-Foote <charla@suneast.sun.com>,
Chuck Palmer <chuck@westford.ccur.com>, Chuck Fumuso <cwf@zeus.cray.com>,
Dave Kearney <dak@mips.com>, Mike DeRiso <med@sei.cmu.edu>,
Scott Dietzen <dietzen@transarc.com>, "Daniel V. Klone" <dvk@sei.cmu.edu>,
Kevin Esler <esler@apollo.hp.com>, Mark Everett <everettm@cayman.com>,
Gary Oberbrunner <garyo@think.com>, Glenn Marcy <gm@osf.org>,
Steve Glaser <glaser@dsmail.lkg.dec.com>,
Gretchen Miller <grm+@andrew.cmu.edu>, Jack Burness <jack@kpc.com>,
Joe Mattis <jam@cs.cmu.edu>, Janet Marcisak <jlm@ftp.com>,
Joan Stigliani <joan@netcom.com>, Keith Rodwell <kr@oki.com>,
Oleg <oleg@veritas.com>, Faramarz Rabii <rabii@osf.org>,
Bob Doolittle <rad@think.com>, Roger Gourd <gourd@osf.org>,
Tony Schene <schene@bosco.central.sun.com>,
Steve Gilbane <steveg@sni-usa.com>,
Tony O'Connor <tony@westford.ccur.com>,
"James Toth,\
Esq." <toth@raven1.enet.dec.com>,
The other Andy Tanenbaum <trb@ima.isc.com>, chuck@westford.ccur.com
Subject: Just in case...
In-Reply-To: <9210281034.aa03212@lear.Bos.Locus.COM>
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 11:37:33 EST
From: Chuck Palmer (x2997) <chuck@westford.ccur.com>
Message-Id: <9210281133.aa08344@playroom.westford.ccur.com>
>
> Hey, if the world really does end at midnight tonight, I just want y'all
> to know it's been nice knowing and working with you.
Is there a rain date?
Does the *BIG* ranch house have a net address?
;-)
chuck p.
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+
| Charles Palmer (x2997) |
| Concurrent Computer Corp. |
| chuck@westford.ccur.com 508-392-2997 |
| One Technology Way Fax: 508-392-2492 |
| Westford, Ma. 01886 |
| -or- |
| RealTime Systems Solutions 508-371-2811 |
| Fax: 508-371-2813 |
+-------------------------------------------------------------------+
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 28 Oct 92 10:49:03 -0500
From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
Message-Id: <9210281549.AA00973@hemlock>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: The Spielberg Five?
You've heard of the Keating Five, but what of the Spielberg Five...?
(I hope everyone else on the SubG list won't forward this one from the net to
this list, too.)
Eric
Newsgroups: alt.news-media,alt.politics.elections,alt.politics.bush,alt.politics.clinton,alt.politics.perot,misc.headlines,alt.fan.dan-quayle
>From: egl1@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Elizabeth G. Levy)
Subject: 5 U.S. Senators Are Space Aliens!
Organization: Columbia University
Date: Mon, 26 Oct 1992 16:43:41 GMT
ALIEN TELLS CLINTON AND BUSH:
FIVE U.S. SENATORS ARE SPACE ALIENS!
They're named inside!
Find out if YOUR Senator is on the list
[A _Weekly World News_ exclusive!]
ALIEN'S BOMBSHELL: 5 U.S. SENATORS ARE FROM OUTER SPACE!
by Nick Mann (copied w/o permission.)
WASHINGTON -- A space alien who stunned the world when he met with
presidential candidates George Bush, Bill Clinton and Ross Perot
dropped yet another bombshell when he invited Clinton and Bush to a
summit conference in Washington and revealed that five U.S.
senators are extraterrestrials just like he is!
It is not clear what the space alien was trying to accomplish by
naming veteran Senators Orrin Hatch, Sam Nunn, Alan Simpson, John
Glenn and Nancy Kassebaum as undercover ambassadors from another
planet.
But sources close to Bush and Clinton say the alien is almost
certainly trying to secure a cabinet post in the next
administration.
And if that is the case, the creature might well have revealed the
names of our space alien senators to prove that extraterrestrials
are not only capable of guiding the destinies of mankind, they have
the track record to prove it.
"These five senators have a total of 82 years experience at the
highest levels of American government and stand as shining examples
of what aliens are able to accomplish while working for and with an
inferior species, in this case, human beings," declared author and
UFO expert Nathaniel Dean.
Dean cited sources close to Gov. Clinton and President Bush when he
blew the lid off the historic summit in a report to newsmen in
Washington.
"If the alien really is seeking a cabinet post, he's got five
impeccable references in Senators Hatch, Kassebaum, Glenn, Simpson
and Nunn," he continued. "But even if he isn't seeking a such a
post, revealing their true identities to President Bush and Gov.
Clinton was a political masterstroke.
"In one fell swoop, the creature managed to put both men in his
debt while keeping both of them as friends.
"Regardless of who wins the election, this alien will have the
president's ear and trust.
"If he wants a cabinet post, he'll get a cabinet post. If he wants
power, he'll get power. It's as simple as that."
Not surprisingly, Dean's report touched off a controversy that is
expected to rage for months or even years to come. Skeptics were
quick to cry "hoax."
But supporters were just as quick to point out that Dean's record
as a writer and researcher with close ties to American's power
elite is beyond challenge.
The expert courageously risked the wrath of the Secret Service and
CIA when he reported on previous meetings the space alien had with
Bush in 1991, and Clinton and Perot earlier this year.
The President and Gov. Clinton issued no denials when confronted
with the reports during televised news conferences that were
covered by reporters from all over the world.
Senators Hatch (R-Utah), Simpson (R-Wyoming), Kassebaum (R-Kansas),
Glenn (D-Ohio) and Nunn (D-Georgia) appeared to be taken off-guard
by the space alien's allegations and initially denied them. But in
the final analysis, two of the senators resigned themselves to the
fact that their covers were blown.
Contacted at his office in Washington, Glenn, a former NASA
astronaut who orbited the planet in 1962, said through an aide:
"Okay...okay... you found us out but remember this -- mankind is
not alone."
Nunn went even farther than that when he suggested that the five
senators named as extraterrestrials are just the tip of the
iceberg.
"I'm almost positive there are more," the senator, speaking through
an aide, said.
Dean's sources said the space alien met with Bush and Clinton in a
CIA safe house in Washington on October 14.
The 90-minute meeting was limited to a discussion of the five
senators and the roles they play in U.S. politics. "Clinton and
Bush have been tight-lipped about the meeting but all hell is
breaking loose behind the scenes," said Dean.
"In fact, I'm told that Bush has created a special task force to
study the ramifications of having extraterrestrials in the Senate.
"The first question that came to my mind was whether the senators
are U.S. citizens and eligible to serve in the Senate," he
continued. "Clinton and Bush apparently asked the same question
and were assured that the senators are U.S. citizens and qualified
for public office.
"I assume that they were born in America to extraterrestrial
parents who came to Earth many, many years ago. And even though
the senators might look human, I'm told that, in this case,
appearances are deceiving.
"In his meeting with the alien, President Bush specifically asked
the extraterrestrial why the senators don't look alien. The alien
answered: 'The senators look human because they choose to look
human. It is a simple matter for us to change our forms.'"
The alien's allegations raise more questions than they answer, of
course, and only Clinton and Bush have heard the whole story.
"I, for one, want to know where these extraterrestrials came from
and why they want to run our country," said Dean.
"From all appearances, they have the best interests of mankind at
heart. But as the alien himself said, appearances can be
deceiving."
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End of Subgenius Digest
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