Today's Topics:
Countdown to the Millenium
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Date: Tue, 22 Dec 92 18:18:06 PST
From: Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.apc.org>
Message-Id: <9212230218.AA08468@igc.apc.org>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
WEIRDNUZ.256 (News of the Weird, January 1, 1993)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* In December, as France was on the verge of formally
repealing its 88-year-old system of local funeral-
service monopolies, Michel Leclerc was speeding up the
process by opening his latest funeral-service
"supermarket," in Creteil. "Here, people can take a
cart and do their shopping," Leclerc told the
Associated Press. Consumers wander down lengthy aisles
and satisfy their funeral needs at "sale" prices.
Leclerc offers many models of caskets, headstones,
plastic flowers, and other accessories, and consumers
make their selections to upbeat background music from
local radio stations. [Charlotte Observer-AP, 11-26-92]
The Litigious Society
* James "Scott" Hooper, a student at Oklahoma State
University, had his lawsuit against Pizza Shuttle
tossed out by a Stillwater, Okla., court in October.
He had sued for $7 because his pizza contained the
wrong toppings, which he mistakenly ate part of.
Hooper said he turned down an out-of-court settlement
of a $4-off coupon. [Joplin Globe-AP, 10-25-92]
* In October, a federal appeals court upheld a $325,000
jury award to Robert Fischer, who had claimed that an
electrical shock he received from a Pepsi-Cola machine
in Omaha, Neb., in 1987 had left him impotent.
Fischer's wife was awarded $35,000 for loss of
services. [National Law Journal, 11-2-92]
* In 1989, a Union Bridge, Md., high school permitted a
female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its
football team under the pressure of a federal statute
that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender.
On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was
tackled and suffered massive internal injuries. In
October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against
the county board of education for its alleged failure
to inform her of how dangerous football is. [Washington
Post, 10-29-92]
* Escondido, Calif., attorney Ben Echeverria filed a $2
million lawsuit in August against Texaco, Inc., and a
local gas station manager because station attendants
were pumping gas for women at self-service prices, but
not for men. The station almost immediately stopped
its practice and forced women to start pumping for
themselves. [AP wirecopy, 8-12-92]
* In October, the Illinois Supreme Court reinstated a
$1.5 million verdict against the Chicago Transit
Authority in a 1977 wrongful death lawsuit. The family
of Korean immigrant Sang Yeul Lee had sued CTA for
inadequate warnings after Sang, who was drunk, was
electrocuted as he urinated on the electrified "third
rail." [Chicago Tribune, 10-23-92]
Uh-Oh
* Several white, Hispanic, and Filipino boys were
disciplined for a recess "game" they played with a 12-
year-old African-American classmate at a Poway, Calif.,
school in June. They pushed the boy down and started
kicking him in what they called the "Rodney King game."
[[Sacramento Union-AP, 6-20-92]]
* Third-grade teacher Lynne Strumlok was forced to
apologize to students and administrators at the
Delaware Elementary School in Syracuse, N. Y., in
September for her discliplinary warning of choice: She
allegedly would pull out a large pair of scissors,
begin menacingly opening and closing them, and warn
students that "Mister Scissors" would cut out their
tongues. A colleague, Joanne Herschkorn, allegedly
told her class Mister Scissors would take tongues
first, then their livers. [Syracuse Herald American, 9-
27-92]
* A West Milford, N. J., 13-year-old boy was arrested
at the Macopin School in September and charged with
selling a classmate marijuana laced with poison ivy.
Because it causes tissue to swell, the poison ivy could
have been fatal to people with allergies. [Gloucester
County Times, 9-30-92]
* Larry Ketchum, 23, and Mike Minnerath, 22, were
slightly injured after being hit by a car in a
Billings, Mont., in September. Minnerath was being
pushed across the street in a wheelchair in heavy rain
by Ketchum, who is blind. [Billings Gazette, Sept92]
* Antonio Castro, Jr., 45, and his wife pleaded guilty
in November to defrauding the supermarket tabloids The
Globe, The Star, and the National Enquirer by selling
them 547 phony tips on celebrity gossip over a four-
year period. [Los Angeles Daily News, Nov92]
The Weirdo-American Community
* Patrick Foley, 42, was arrested in Redwood City,
Calif., in November and charged with arson. He
admitted starting 42 grass fires in the area because he
said "voices from the church" created a pain in his
back which could only be alleviated by the fires.
[Syracuse Herald-Journal-San Francisco Examiner, 11-13-
92]
Least Competent Person
* Christopher A. Shutt, 17, was arrested for attempted
robbery in Cortland, N. Y., in October after putting a
gun to the head of a clerk in a meat market. The clerk
told police that she then saw something "fly past my
face." It was the barrel of Shutt's gun, which fell
off. Another employee noticed that the barrel had
fallen off and approached Shutt, whereupon Shutt re-
aimed what was left of the gun at him and told him to
get against the wall, until it dawned on him that his
gun was broken. At that point, the employee disarmed
Shutt and called the police. [Cortland Standard, 10-23-
92]
The Diminishing Value of Life
* Police in Queens, N. Y., charged Samuel Saelmeron,
17, with the stabbing death of his cousin, Victor, aged
16, in November. The two worked together at the
Bayside Diner as dishwashers, and witnesses said Samuel
thought Victor wasn't doing his share of work. [New
York Times, 11-30-92]
END
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Date: Tue, 22 Dec 92 10:33:08 -0500
From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
Message-Id: <9212221533.AA00847@hemlock>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: Countdown to the Millenium
So, if you need a last-minute present for anyone, Pink or otherwise, consider
_Countdown to the Millenium_, by John J. Kohut & Roland Sweet, Plume Books, $8
It's essentially "News of the Weird" with a living in the latter days feel to
it. A random sampling:
James Hatch said he robbed a Salt Lake City bank of $2,500 in order to
donate more money to the Lord's Covenant Church, which teaches that the
Federal Reserve System is causing the collapse of the American economy.
Hatch claimed that after he donated $7,000, a church member called to
thank him and urged him to rob a bank.
Police in Independence, Missouri, raided a psychics' fair and arrested
seven people for violating a city ordinance that prohibits taking money
for palm and card readings or other methods of predicting the future.
"We consider these readings a fraud," police sergeant Dave Smith said.
"If they can tell the future, how come they didn't know we were
coming?"
A 1991 Gallup Poll revealed that 60 percent of the American people
believe in the existence of hell, up from the previous high of 58
percent, recorded in 1952. Only 4 percent thought that they were going
to go to hell when they died.
Merry X-ist-mas,
Eric
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End of Subgenius Digest
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