Today's Topics:
compiled by Bill Mandel
How to reach Hugh
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Message-Id: <9301130606.AA14913@lambada.oit.unc.edu>
Subject:
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 0:55:37 EST
From: Mitchell Porter <Mitchell.Porter@lambada.oit.unc.edu>
> Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 12:28:44 EST
> From: jprovo@gnu.ai.mit.edu
> Message-Id: <9301111728.AA16393@wombat.gnu.ai.mit.edu>
> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
> Subject: Online subg shit, blah blah blah
>
> mitch port sez:
> >i] my ordainment package arrived from dallas a few days ago. the 'other
> >mutants' listing i thought was particularly invaluable, addresses for
> >hundreds of clenches & countercultural individuals & institutions. i would
>
> damn...would be nice if doug sent this out to us old mini-steers...
> not to mention my NOT YET RECIEVED stark fist [the last one]....
> Maybe I have to dig out the old blackmail photos and give him a call....
this listing was printed out separately and had all the signs of something
thrown together very hastily.. there may be a more complete and tidier
listing in the next stark fist..
which one havent you received yet? this one had a sort of
"pornography/blasphemy" theme i think.. included a story by kibo..
how old is "old"
?
also i now realise i left out something i meant to suggest: that there
could be a listing of _email_ addresses for online subg's & friends. i
started something like this with the "unclassified" section in high
weirdness by email [v2.1 almost finishd!], but someone could do a really
comprehensive one by [eg] monitoring alt.slack for a few weeks and
snarfing all the .sigs, then concatenating them all and sending it here.
voila! instant internet subg guide!
mitch
[an elder god of the church of virtuality/reality]
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Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 10:58:34 PST
Message-Id: <9301131858.AA14927@versant.com>
To: J R Bob Dodds <Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
From: fhfcrpg gung guvatf ner zhpu jbefr guna v rire fhfcrpgrq <strick@well.sf.ca.us>
Reply-To: strick@well.sf.ca.us
Subject: compiled by Bill Mandel
[ i pooned this from YUCKS, i think -- i lost the real headers --
strick@well.sf.ca.us ]
[ These are actual news stories from 1992, compiled by Bill Mandel
of the San Francisco Examiner. ]
A San Francisco man walked through a plate-glass storefront trying to
board the cable car he saw reflected in the shiny window.
Sonoma County viewers who'd paid $30 to see a Madison Square Garden
tribute to Bob Dylan on cable TV had their Dylanfest interrupted by 90
minutes of soft-core porn. Only one complained.
A San Francisco man dressed as Mickey Mouse on Halloween was beaten on
the street by a man who threatened to kill the would-be rodent "if I catch
you dressed up like Mickey again."
A government worker in the Philippines who is a hermaphrodite (both male
and female sex organs), became pregnant but was denied maternity leave
because he's legally a man.
Man of God and serious Republican presidential aspirant Pat Robertson
said the Equal Rights Amendment "encourages women to leave their husbands,
kill their children, practice withcraft, destroy capitalism and become
lesbians."
Speaking of the federal deficit, U.S. Senator Dennis DeConcini said:
"We're going to wrassle to the ground this gigantic orgasm that is out
of control."
San Francisco police served a jaywalking ticket on a comatose man
hospitalized in an intensive care unit. An investigation revealed the
man, not the motorist who hit him, was at fault in the accident.
One of the men arrested for looting in the L.A. riots is a $3 million
Lotto winner who recieves $120,000 a year from the state.
A women in Royal Oak, Mich., was arrested, handcuffed, and jailed for
putting her garbage cans out too early.
A lawyer defended himself against charges of microwaving his ex-girlfriend's
kitten by saying he'd put the cat in the oven to keep it out of his way
and then accidentally turned the oven on.
A Los Angeles man on trial for harrassing ice skater Katarina Witt
demanded a jury of nymphomaniacs, atheists and agnostics to compose
"a jury of his peers."
A Pennsylvania judge resigned after promising leniency to a defendent
if he could shampoo the man's hair.
A Florida wedding reception was interrupted when the bride threw macaroni
salad at the groom and he responded with gunfire. At the hospital,
the wounded bride insisted on checking in under her new married name.
A Polish pro soccer team acquired two top players from a Kiev squad for
a truckload of potatos.
An off-duty Oklahoma city police officer ran from the stands at a high
school basketball game and arrested an official who, the cop claimed, was
not calling enough fouls against the visiting team.
Mississippi State football coach Jackie Sherrill defended the castration
of a bull in front of his football team (which was about to play the Texas
Longhorns) as "motivational and educational."
A Chicago high school teacher punished truants by making them listen to
Frank Sinatra records.
The CIA classified as "secret" the report of its Openness Task Force.
Investigators probing Sears auto repair departments found that several
cars taken in for brake repair came out with no brakes at all.
The 1982 National Father's Day Association's Father of the Year went
to jail for failing to pay child support.
Joseph Hazelwood, captain of the ill-fated oil tanker Exxon Valdez, was
hired by New York Maritime College to teach students how to stand watch
on a tanker's bridge.
New York City authorities wired more than 200 bushes in a public park
with burglar alarms.
A young couple trading oral sex on a British train continued their frolic
when a family entered the compartment and sat down. Then the amorous pair
performed "full sexual intercourse" in front of passengers who boarded
latter. It wasn't until the lovers lit up post-coital cigarettes that
witnesses admonished them and rang for the conductor.
Scientists found that watching television sitting up burns 15 percent
fewer calories than simply lying in bed.
A color-bar test pattern on a Los Angeles television drew higher ratings
than two competing stations' 10 p.m. newscasts.
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Message-Id: <9301131633.AA16800@media.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: How to reach Hugh
Date: Wed, 13 Jan 93 11:33:39 -0500
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
Send mail to nik@ingr.ingr.com, not to me.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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