Last December, USA Today reported that an 18-month-old Tennessee girl with
cerebral palsy took her first steps after watching Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy
Breaky Heart" video. Miraculous though it may seem, since doctors said she
would never walk, the event was only one marvel among many inspired by the
singer and the song that became the unexpected sensations of 1992.
*In September, Lottie Thrum of American Samoa was pronounced dead-on-arrival at
Pago Pago General Hospital. She was revived, however, and claimed to have had
an out-of-body experience. She was traveling down a tunnel toward a bright
white light, she says, but was drawn back into her body when she realized that,
in her incorporeal stae, she "would no longer be able to do the achy-breaky."
*In August, Mary Cousins of Batesville, Arkansas, inserted a $5 bill in the
jukebox at Ed's Free Nuts Tavern and played "Achy Breaky Heart" 20 times in a
row. After the 15th play, a ferocious wind blew through the place, shattering
the windows, mirrors, and light fixtures, driving the bar's patrons under their
tables. Even more macabre, the walls began to bleed a substance later
determined to be mayonnaise.
*In May of 1991, months before Cyrus recorded his landmark hit, a meteorite
bearing an eerie resemblance to the singer was found just outside of Minsk,
Belorussia.
*In October, at the Fajita Hut in Brownsville, Texas ("Where the elite meet and
eat fajitas"), the achy-breaky hunk's granite-chiseled visage reportedly
appeared in a bowl of refried beans. The event could not be verified, however,
since the beans were immediately consumed by Cyrus fan Nettie Grosvenor, who
was disappointed to report that the dish was hot and spicy, but left a terrible
aftertaste.
--Daniel Durchholz
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End of Subgenius Digest
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