Today's Topics:
News of the Weird
Yeah, right.
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Date: Wed, 17 Mar 93 19:10:50 PST
From: Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.apc.org>
Message-Id: <9303180310.AA05322@igc.apc.org>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: News of the Weird
WEIRDNUZ.268 (News of the Weird, March 26, 1993)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* The Pryor, Okla., Daily Times reported recently that
autopsies on a minnow and a flea, which the city used
to test the quality of discharge from its waste-
treatment plant, might cost the city from $100,000 to
$200,000. Tests are required by the state and federal
governments to ascertain whether the minnow and the
flea died from natural causes or from a problem with
the discharge. [Pryor Daily Times, Feb93]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit
* In October, San Francisco industrial chemist Merlyn
Starley obtained a patent for "suspenders" to hold a
condom in place so that it won't slip off during use.
It is made of two plastic clips and a special adhesive
attached to the wearer's legs. [San Francisco Examiner-
States News Service, Oct92]
* In January, New York Newsday reported that a
"thriving" gun rental business was operating in a
Brooklyn housing project. According to police, the
market price was $20 a night for a 9-mm. gun, but rose
to $100 if the gun was used to shoot someone. [New York
Newsday, 1-29-93]
* The Toronto Globe and Mail reported in January that a
California company will soon introduce a hand-held
device that will enable the user to pinpoint his
location, anywhere on earth, by use of satellites, to
within 10 yards. [Globe and Mail, 1-27-93]
* Danville, Va., inventor David Bivens, who has
developed large, irrigated brushes for washing cars and
trucks (such as those found in commercial carwashes),
told the Chicago Tribune in November that he had
developed such a device for washing people. A person
stands next to the brush and rubs against it as it
makes 90-120 revolutions per minute, flicking off dirt
(and dead skin). [Chicago Tribune, Nov92]
* The official China Daily newspaper reported in
December that consumers were buying "millions" of
Western-style Christmas cards--even though many Chinese
do not understand what the holiday messages mean.
"Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Season's
Greetings," wrote the newspaper, "are becoming
household words in China." [L. A. Daily News-UPI,
Dec92]
* A New Jersey environmental group, Clean Ocean Action,
told the Associated Press in January that it had
manufactured and sold over 300 fishing lures made of
tampon applicators that its members had found while
cleaning the beaches. The group paints the "tampoons"
various colors, adds hooks, and markets them for $6
each. [Columbia Daily Tribune-AP, 1-6-93]
* Philip Middleton of Chantilly, Va., and his partner
Richard Wooton are preparing to market a commode for
dogs. The dog walks up stairs at the side of the
bathroom toilet, steps onto a platform over the toilet
bowl, and squats down to use the Walk-Me-Not. And an
inventor in Southern California recently began
marketing the Puppy Didy diaper for dogs. [Fairfax,
Va., Journal, 6-18-92; San Francisco Chronicle, Jan93]
* In November, Houston, Tex., judge Jim Barkley, 51,
quietly closed his part-time business. For several
weeks, according to courthouse employees, Barkley had
been operating a golfwear haberdashery in his office,
with monogramming services offered by his wife.
Barkley denied a conflict of interest, saying, "The
attorneys can buy the stuff, but there's no
obligation." [Dallas Morning News-AP, 11-9-92]
Celebrities
* In December, a court in Gallatin, Tenn., ordered
Thomas James Fry of Jensen Beach, Fla., to stop
harassing singer Conway Twitty. Fry, 24, says Twitty,
58, is his son. [NOTE: Yep--Fry is the FATHER] [L. A.
Times-AP, Dec92]
* Model Cindy Crawford told a feminist conference at
Princeton University in January that she is not
obsessed with her appearance: "I don't ever wake up
looking like Cindy Crawford. Believe me, I don't want
to look at my naked body in a three-way mirror any more
than you do." [L. A. Times, Jan93]
* In January, opera singer Luciano Pavarotti was
accused by the author of a 1972 art book of copying her
drawings and offering them for sale under his name.
One painting, which Pavarotti told an interviewer was
so touching to him that he cried when he painted it,
was allegedly so faithfully copied that it included the
original artist's errors in scenic detail.
[Independence Examiner-AP, 1-24-93]
The Weirdo-American Community
* An elementary school teacher and three other men were
arrested on a fairway at a North Little Rock, Ark.,
golf course one afternoon in March, standing in a
circle masturbating. They did not stop when an
undercover police officer first approached them, nor
when he subsequently returned with his partner to make
the arrest. [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 3-3-93]
Uh-Oh
* Police in El Cerrito, Calif., have been seeking Aaron
Levall Harris on suspicion of assault in January after
two gunmen fled a crime scene. At the scene was an
artificial eyeball with Harris's name on it, which
police say might have fallen out during the escape.
And in February in Jerusalem, a 50-year-old man
resisting arrest but finally cornered by police, took
out his artificial eye and threw it at them. [Los
Angeles Times-AP, 2-12-93; Detroit Free Press-Reuters,
2-18-93]
The Diminishing Value of Life
* Michael Wrightman, 30, pleaded guilty in Toronto in
February to beating David Marlatt to death in the
course of a fight over which of the two men had the
longer criminal record. [Barrie Examiner-CP, 2-16-93]
END
------------------------------
From: steffan@aol.com
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Yeah, right.
Date: Wed, 17 Mar 93 11:24:44 EST
Message-Id: <9303171124.tn22822@aol.com>
