Today's Topics:
(3 msgs)
all things
bob.ps
Count Zero to talk at UMass/Amherst
subgenius-REQUEST, dammit
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To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
Message-ID: <930504.173049.3S9.rusnews.w165w@mantis.co.uk>
Date: Tue, 4 May 1993 17:30:49 +0100
Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
The Brown Bottle <ross-c@scs.leeds.ac.uk> writes:
> Also, I've heard of a church with "Hookers for Jesus", where young women in
> the cult were asked by the leader to use their bodies to win new male
> converts.
That's the Children Of God. See "High Weirdness by Mail".
> PS: How do you get your hands on the comic book describing Bob, e.g.
Since you're in the UK, send an SAE to:
Counter Productions,
PO Box 556,
London SE5 0RL.
Tell 'em mathew sent you.
mathew
Hamburgers for WOTAN, Inc.
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Date: Wed, 5 May 93 18:42:12 PDT
From: Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.apc.org>
Message-Id: <9305060142.AA00664@igc.apc.org>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
I love the SubGenius Digest, but I can't imagine many people wading
through 650 lines of Larsonian Larsonism Larsonaphilia to get through
to News of the Weird. Did anyone read it last week? Couldn't the
Digest have the shorter messages first, or is it just that I'm too
unsophisticated a user to know how to cut to the various messages?
Am I wasting my time sending out News of the Weird?
Chuck Shepherd
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 May 93 18:43:33 PDT
From: Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.apc.org>
Message-Id: <9305060143.AA00828@igc.apc.org>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
WEIRDNUZ.275 (News of the Weird, May 14, 1993)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* In April in Low Moor, Iowa, the body of a 16-year-old
boy whose parents suspected he had run away to join the
circus over four years earlier, was found hanged in
their farmhouse basement; the body had not been
discovered sooner because of the severe clutter. In
Vienna, Austria, since December, the bodies of three
people have been found in their apartments by
officials; mail in the apartments suggested that one
man died in 1989 and that two sisters had died in 1985.
And in Roubaix, France, the body of Eloi Herbaux, 55,
was found in March by health officials investigating
the smell from his apartment, apparently ten months
after he had passed away; the body was on the sofa in
front of a television set that was still on. [Des
Moines Register, 4-9-93; Montreal Gazette-Reuter,
Apr93; Minneapolis Star-Tribune-AP, 3-25-93]
Inexplicable
* In Monmouth, Ill., Clifford West told a judge in
April that his wife Cora could come back to live with
him, and cook for him, while she's out on bail awaiting
her trial for trying to kill him by poisoning his food.
[USA Today, 4-8-93]
* In March, Cleveland, Ohio, judge Terrence O'Donnell
found Dr. Demetrius Pawlyszyn not guilty of 39 counts
of drug trafficking and writing false prescriptions
despite prosecutors' evidence: In a seven-month
period, Pawlyszyn had prescribed, among other things,
over 60 gallons of narcotic cough syrup, 53,000
Valiums, and 35,000 Vicodins. [Cleveland Plain Dealer,
3-25-93]
* The class president of third-year graduate students
at Duke University Divinity School was expelled in
April for a scheme in which, in words and deeds, he
faked a case of terminal cancer, to the point of
keeping his head shaved to mimic the effect of
chemotherapy. [Durham Herald-Sun, 4-16-93]
* The trial of Ismael Rodriguez in Trenton, N. J., in
April revealed the practices of the rehabilitation
program of the halfway house to which he had been sent
after serving time in prison on heroin possession
charges. Rodriguez said he wanted to escape from the
halfway house because he objected to inmates' being
forced to don dresses and high heels--a practice that
officials say breaks down inmates' self-images as tough
guys. [Independence Examiner-AP, 4-14-93]
* In March, South Carolina state Sen. Glenn McConnell
protested to the mayor of Charleston the city's
decision the previous month to relocate 13 bodies from
a Confederate graveyard underneath The Citadel's
football field and parking lot, but to leave 23 other
bodies there. [Greenville News-AP, 4-2-93]
* In September, New York City police charged a Wall
Street investment banker and an honors student at Yale
Law School with tossing huge chunks of concrete off a
45-story luxury apartment building. One woman was
partly paralyzed after being hit with a 75-lb. slab.
According to police, one of the men said, "We had so
much fun throwing that [stuff]. This is better than a
bank robbery." [Chicago Tribune, 9-20-92]
Uh-Oh
* In January a Dallas recording company mistakenly sent
the wrong compact discs to about three dozen of the
1,000 radio stations that were to receive religious
programing sponsored by the Southern Baptist Radio-TV
Commission. Instead, the company had sent the
alternative music band Dead Kennedys' album Fresh Fruit
for Rotting Vegetables, which includes the song "I Kill
Children." [Austin American-Statesman-AP, 1-28-93]
* In February, the British journal Nature reported that
radioactivity in Russia was so prevalent, from nuclear
plant waste, atomic testing, and nuclear accidents,
that it is now being detected at significant levels in
snakes' venom. And last August, officials in the
Ukraine said at least 193 cases of poisoning (including
23 deaths) had been reported from toxic, "possibly
mutant" mushrooms that have been growing near the site
of a nuclear power plant in the Voronezh region of
Russia, about 350 miles from Moscow. [Earthwatch-
Fairfax Journal, 2-5-93; St. Louis Post-Dispatch-L. A.
Times, 8-16-92]
* In December in Marianna, Fla., Brandon Hatcher filed
a lawsuit against the Pepsi distributor in Dothan,
Ala., which services Marianna, after tests revealed
that the Mountain Dew he started to drink contained
urine. The Panama City News Herald quoted an executive
of the distributing company as saying, "There are a
variety of reasons why this could happen." [Charleston
Post & Courier-Panama City News Herald, 12-10-92]
The Weirdo-American Community
* In March, the Cleveland Plain Dealer profiled
professor James Hanson of Cleveland State University,
noting that he "calmly holds to his conviction" that
the Earth is the center of the universe because he
believes the Bible, against what a colleague calls
"libraries of proof against [that belief]." Hanson
said he had also "exhumed the original research of the
man who discovered [carbon-14 dating], and I got very
different conclusions." Said Hanson, "I believe what I
believe." [Cleveland Plain Dealer, 3-15-93]
Least Competent Person
* A 24-year-old salesman from Hialeah, Fla., was killed
near Lantana, Fla., in March when his car smashed into
a pole in the median strip of Interstate 95 in the
middle of the afternoon. Police said the man was
traveling at 80 mph at the time and, judging by the
sales manual that was found open and clutched to his
chest, had been busy reading. [Lake Worth Herald, 3-18-
93]
Good News
* The Associated Press reported in April that the Red
Belle Saloon in Salt Lake City is prospering under its
new owners. Last year, bikers in a motorcycle gang
called the Barons, whose clubhouse is near the bar,
became angry at seeing the drug dealing, prostitution,
and violent crimes taking place at the bar so they
bought it, rehabilitated it, and set the clientele
straight. [Raleigh News & Observer-AP, 4-14-93]
END
------------------------------
From: dryfoo@athena.mit.edu
Message-Id: <9305051639.AA09585@thelonious>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: all things
Date: Wed, 05 May 93 12:39:31 EDT
Dear Revs, Ribs, and Rivulets,
This looks like a chain letter, but it's not. If you forward it as
such, your willie will fall off.
love,
-- dr foo
WITH SEX ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE
This paper has been sent to you for good luck. The original has
been worn out from having passed through the hands of so many
people. It had travelled around the world 70 times [Dear Reader:
please help keep this count current. If this letter falls into
your hands after just completing one more circuit of the world,
please add one to the count.] The luck has now been sent to you.
You will experience great sex within four days of receiving this
letter, provided you send it on! Since the copy must tour the
world, you must make twenty copies and send them to others.
This is no joke. Send no money.
Send copies to people who need to get laid within 96 hours.
After he passed this letter on, a Montana Spinach Control Officer
got his penis stuck in a cow-milking machine and had the longest
series of ograsms of his life.
Duncan Marmoset tried to pick up a prositute, but, because he
broke the chain, was picked up by the police instead. When they
searched his home, they found magazines of little boys which they
showed to his neighbours.
In a suburb of Paris, Don Loray's trousers were ripped by an
unsatisfied erection, 51 days after failing to circulate the
letter. However, before this happened, a condom machine gave him
three condoms for the price of one. (was this the consolation
prize?)
Do note the following:
Hebert Pudstrom received the chain in 1953. He asked his
secretary to make twenty copies and send them out. A few days
later he encountered her in a red-light district making more than
he had ever paid her at work.
General George Patton, who sent the letter on, saw what he
thought was a quarter in the street. When he bent down to pick
it up, a beautiful woman in a miniskirt walked by, and he got a
great view.
His aide, Colonel Roger Bumswiver, who did not pass on the
letter, tried to pick up a similar object but was fucked up the
ass by a desperate gay when he bent over.
Benjie Liberman, an unemployed chicken choker, received the
letter and forgot that it had to leave his hands within 96 hours.
His wife then went bowling with his best friend and never
returned. Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed
twenty copies. A few days later he got a wife and discovered
that his old wife, who he thought was wonderful, had made love to
him like a dead salmon for all these years!
Alan Fairchild received the letter and, not believing, threw the
letter away. Nine days later he spilled hot coffee in his
crotch.
In 1987 the letter received by a young woman in Texas was faded
and barely readable, so she did not realize that this paragraph
applied to her. She promised herself she would retype the letter
and send it on, but she put it aside to do later. She was
plagued with problems including herpes and other venereal
diseases she contracted in her futile attempts to find Mr. Right
in a singles bar. The letter did not leave her hands in 96
hours. She finally typed the letter and found a man with a
10-inch penis.
You must distribute at least twenty copies within 96 hours of
receiving this letter. Those who do will find their love lives
more fulfilling.
Those who do not will be doomed to one-night stands with
mechanical devices.
------------------------------
Message-Id: <20669.9305050855@seqa.bristol.ac.uk>
Subject: bob.ps
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Wed, 5 May 93 9:55:00 WET DST
From: Jon Wilson <ma2126@seqa.bristol.ac.uk>
> From: "Mitchell L. Silverman" <mitch@cfraix.cfr.usf.edu>
> To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
> Subject: Pinkboyz and Newd Recruits: listen up!
>
> You new people--News O' The Weird readers, Comic Book SubGenii,
> whatever--are obviously in need of some churchin' up. And
> since it's *obvious* that you'all are too Slack-filled (or, in
> some cases, too Pink) to think to do it, here's where Deacon
> Archie says you should go for enlightenment.
Hey man ! What about the rather fetching :-
Host quartz.rutgers.edu (128.6.60.6)
Last updated 04:17 25 Feb 1993
Location: /pub
FILE rw-r--r-- 14566 Apr 11 1991 bob.ps.Z
Happy PostScript printing !
-- Jon Wilson "He Is Set Upon by Adversities; Bristol University, U.K. but He Sings a Song. " ma2126@seqa.bris.ac.uk jwilson@nyx.cs.du.edu------------------------------
Date: 05 May 1993 15:20:49 -0400 (EDT) From: Torben Dijnes <torben@titan.ucs.umass.edu> Subject: Count Zero to talk at UMass/Amherst To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Message-id: <9305051920.AA04510@titan.ucs.umass.edu>
The Phn0rd! Interactive Discussion Series ------------------------------------------- See! Hear! Smell! Touch! Taste! **** **** ** ** ** ** ****** ****** ****** ***** **** ** ** ** ** ** ** *** ** ** *** ** ** ** ** ** * * * ** ** ** *** ** *** **** ***** * * ** ** ** ** ** ** ** *** ** *** ** ** ** ** ** **** **** ****** ** ** ** ****** ****** ** ** ****
||| The Computer Underground: ||| ||| What the Hell is it? ||| Thursday, May 6th, 1993 The University of Massachusetts at Amherst 7:00pm, Late Arrivals are Welcome The Campus Center, Room 101 (Downstairs, near the Collegian and WMUA Offices)
Phn0rd presents COUNT ZERO, founding Member of "Restricted Data Transmissions" (RDT) and member of the "Cult of the Dead Cow" (cDc). Count Zero is a writer for Phrack, 2600 Magazine, Informatik, self- appointed spokesman for the hacker community, and author of various free- floating articles covering telephony, computer security, general electronics, radio communications. A system administrator and researcher at a large Boston hospital, he works for the dissemination of computer and networking information to interested persons for the public good. Count Zero will lead an interactive discussion about the "Computer Underground"... What is it? Who is it? Separating hype from reality, Count Zero will talk about the real motivations of "hackers" and what they are actually striving for. What can "hackers" hope to do with their lives? Why are "hackers" the REAL motivating force in the coming digital revolution of the next century? Only a FEW hackers are ever caught... And even fewer make the headline news. There's *much* more to the computer underground than kids breaking into computers!
Including a live demonstration on packet radio technology, the use of a modem over radio waves at no cost. This exciting technology is of course a source of dismay to the telephone companies and a source of joy to most everyone else because of its public, unregulated and unbillable nature. Come and learn more! Also including a technical discussion about any relevant (or irrelevant) topics of interest to the audience.
------------------------------------------- || Phn0rd Information || ------------------------------------------- Phone: (413) 546-1327 Fax: (413) 545-4751 E-Mail: torben@student.umass.edu Join the Phn0rd Mailing List! Send Mail to: phn0rd-request@student.umass.edu
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9305051509.AA08177@media.mit.edu> To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: subgenius-REQUEST, dammit Date: Wed, 05 May 93 11:09:11 -0400 From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
I know that many of you Subs out there are so sub that you can barely manage to feed yourselves. Nonetheless, it would please "Bob" and myself if you could somehow train yourself to send requests to be added or removed from this mailing list to:
SUBGENIUS-REQUEST@mc.lcs.mit.edu
and not to subgenius@etc.
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End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
