Today's Topics:
Exceprts from SubGenius
Great Scots!!!!
Our New Friend, Jeff
SPSS Postmaster - User Unknown
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Date: Wed, 26 May 93 10:48:31 BST
Message-Id: <24819.9305260948@morris.harlqn.co.uk>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: rocbreaker@aol.com
Subject: Exceprts from SubGenius
From: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Reply-To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
rocbreaker@aol.com did not write:
Well your FROP did get here but it's one monster of a SKULL - I hope
it makes MY HEAD EXPLODE. Took me a while just to SLACK OUT for sure.
It was from BOB. Sorry I KILLED you this past weekend in DOBBSTOWN.
I was so busy getting CONVERTED. To see all of my family, I now need
a PROSTHESIS. BOB my BOB (typical). Based on the BABY you sent me
BOB sounds like an interesting SALESMAN - although I imagine that was
just a small taste. I got OUT Thursday night and would have tried to
SLASH you at work but didn't have that MUCH MONKEY BRAIN. You might
KILL me AT your new PAD/phone when you receive this so i will have
FROP for future use.
I'm SICK to hear that your new job is going well -- it sounds much
more inTRAVENOUS. WHEN I recall THE CON and ultimate professional
goals I PRAY FOR X-DAY.
Pope Jeff
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From: gt0265d@prism.gatech.edu
Message-Id: <9305270242.AA05025@prism>
Subject: Great Scots!!!!
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Wed, 26 May 1993 22:42:27 -0400 (EDT)
Re:
>Last night's digest was intercepted by Con agents, who apparently
>altered it -- while it's supposed to be the intense ravings of a
>manaical religion, it appears to be mostly wankers flaming at each
>other and lame forwardings of allegedly humorous items. I'm
>forwarding it on nonetheless, so you can see what we're up against.
>
>-- The Immoderator
>
>Subgenius Digest Mon, 24 May 93 Volume 4 : Issue 99
>
>Date: Sun, 23 May 1993 22:19:41 -0400 (EDT)
>From: RYAN Alan Porter <ryan@rtfm.mlb.fl.us>
>Subject:
>To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
>Message-Id: <Pine.3.03.9305232239.A11688-b100000@rtfm>
>
>On Sat, 22 May 1993, Automatic Subgenius Digestifier wrote:
>
>> Date: Tue, 21 May 91 13:59:52 GMT
>> From: CDZ027@prime.napier.ac.uk
>> Subject: more from Scotland
>>
>> and another thing... am I wrong or are the majority of Subg Digest
>> Hardly a Digest goes by without some
>> illiterate IT tirade... If this stuff were communicated by telephone
>> I wouldn't expect everyone else to be telephone engineers, now would
>> Shape up and tak about things that matter. frftvegubc7dhiywnujomz.
>
>What the hell? How did this guy get on the list anyway?
>
>...and as if he hadn't bothered the Yeti enough, from the same guy:
>
> Date: Tue, 21 May 91 13:55:00 GMT
> From: CDZ027@prime.napier.ac.uk
> Subject: Nixon, Bosnia - reportage
>
> So the Subg Digest is now vbecoming a digest fr Associated Press and
> Can't those responsible for these trivial jottings
> I know this stuff
> already - please don't clutter up the place with national news gathering.
> frftvegubc7dhiywnujomz
>
>Please don't clutter up the place with your inane metadrivel.
>
>Sure is pink in Scotland this week, isn't it?
>
Well, Ryan, it may be clutter, but how could you POSSIBLY miss the vital
message contained within the message? On the assumption that the aliens
missed your place last weekend (only by accident, I hope) I'll clue you
in to the meaning:
if you take the second and fifth letters of all the words in the message,
it spells:
ohui sobo is r scr snathee ooh e rio inhtfla lsotlt phleiaoe ae.
Now, divide this by the LeGarian-Larsonian Multiplier,
frftvegubc7dhiywnujomz
and finally, add the address:
CDZ027@prime.napier.ac.uk
In case you are too slackfull to do these obviously ridiculously easy
calculations, the result is this:
He who waits around for aliens to rescue him is an idiotic fool. Or Kill Me.
So there. Go and flames no more, lest you be spited.
Keeping the Slack,
*******************************************************************************
* Mike "Target" Whaley KD4UGI * Chief of Aerospace Engineering *
* * George P. Burdell Engineering Inc. *
* gt0265d@prism.gatech.edu * *
* * Founder and One and Only True Pontiff *
* Georgia Tech Box 40265 * of the First Intergalactic Inquisition *
* Atlanta, GA 30332 * of the Christians For Slack and Other *
* * Unconventional Beliefs- Or Kill Me !!! *
*******************************************************************************
* I absolutely refuse to put a disclaimer here: All opinions expressed above *
* are EXACTLY what Georgia Tech would tell you, VERBATIM, with NO DIFFERENCES.*
*******************************************************************************
* "The goal of every engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major *
* catastrophe." -- Dilbert *
*******************************************************************************
P.S.- Anybody else notice how bad Zorion's breath was? I guess hyperspace time
travel does that... but you would think he coulda bought some breath min
S*(T%S*YUTYR(^R^UOR*&%RD D^& RSS^$RE^$R
We are sorry, this file has been coredumped due to an external error.
+++
NO CARRIER
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Message-Id: <9305261601.AA20696@thelonious>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@athena.mit.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Our New Friend, Jeff
Date: Wed, 26 May 93 12:01:40 EDT
Dear Jeff,
} From: Automatic Subgenius Digestifier
} <@mc.lcs.mit.edu:Subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
}...
}
} Subgenius Digest Wed, 26 May 93 Volume 4 : Issue 101
}...
} From: rocbreaker@aol.com
} To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
} Subject: Excerpts from Subgenius
} Date: Tue, 25 May 93 00:08:10 EDT
}
All of the subscribers of the SubGenius Digest were so _pleased_ to hear
from you:
} Well your mail did get here but it's one monster of a return address...
Not really. Submissions to the Digest go to <subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
while meta-requests (add, remove, change of address, etc.) go to
<subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu>. Fully one-fifth of all our
subscribers are actually able use these addresses accurately, so there
is a reasonable chance that you will, too, someday.
} Sorry I missed you this past weekend in Houston....
As are we _all_! Please be sure to post ALL your private party
information here Ahead Of Time From now on, and you will be sure to
meet, greet, and feed all kinds of interesting Slackers, Yeti,
Uber-mice, Dildobbs, Bobbies, CONnies, and other psychic pschnorrers.
} Based on the info you sent me Internet sounds like an
} interesting network - although I imagine that was just a small taste....
Mmm-hmmm. And it's likely to be come a much larger taste. And you know
why they always give the first tastes away for free, don't you?
} I glad to hear that your new job is going well - it sounds much more in line
} with what I recall of your personality and ultimate professional goals (When
} compared to Sysco).
}
} Jeff
Doggone nice of you, Jeff. NONE of us were ever happy at Sysco, and for
that matter, very few of us have actual personalities, either, or
professional goals. But we're all happy where we are now, and you'll
probably be hearing from all of us on an irregular basis, just to keep
you up to date, now that all we know you're interested. (Honestly,
we've just been so Bored and Lonely, waiting to hear from you.)
one of your new SubGenius Pals,
-- dr foo
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Date: Wed, 26 May 1993 04:56:22 -0500
From: daemon@spss.com
Message-Id: <9305260956.AA38033@spssrs0.spss.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu, postmaster@spssrs0.spss.com
Subject: SPSS Postmaster - User Unknown
Dear Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu,
The user you tried to contact, briano, no longer
receives mail at SPSS. Send inquries to postmaster@spss.com
Postmaster, SPSS, Inc.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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