Today's Topics:
"Bob"'s C.V. (part 1)
"Bob"'s CV (part 3)
Violent TV's (or was that TV Violence?)
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Date: Sun, 11 Jul 93 11:17:02 EDT
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9307111517.AA03359@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: Z_MADSENKA@ccsvax.sfasu.edu
In-Reply-To: <930701112906.2380299a@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU>
Subject: "Bob"'s C.V. (part 1)
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
Favorite Ice cream: vanilla
Favorite Color: the green of green eyes and auburn hair
Favorite Place 2 be: deep in the woods high in the mountains by a lake or river
Favorite Thing to see: jrtsft ygdfsde oohp; uufrdi igiihdsq qpotkceo
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Date: Sun, 11 Jul 93 11:42:47 EDT
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9307111542.AA03382@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: Z_MADSENKA@ccsvax.sfasu.edu
In-Reply-To: <930701112906.2380299a@CCSVAX.SFASU.EDU>
Subject: "Bob"'s CV (part 3)
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
Have you ever died your hair to match the stain on your favorite sho no.
I rarely wear shoes. I'm mostly shoeless. I wear boots when digging ditches.
Do you wear a watch on a regular basis? no. I do not wear a watch. I have a
pocket watch that I use when proctoring exams. and i have a time control watch.
Do you wear a tie? no. I own one, though. I wear it on interviews. Has anyone
ever commented on your fasion sence while standing in your pile of
newly dirtied laundry? indeed, this happens quite often. Have you ever been to
the arctic? yes, almost I've been to inuvec, alaska. or been bitten
by a snail? yes. I've been grazed on by snails. Have you ever donated to a
political party, and then asked for
your money's worth? yes. over and over and over. Have you ever planted a tree?
many, many. as well as hedges, cane fruits, and all manor of herbals.Have you
ever known a woman with a mole on the end of her nose? yes. gawd, how i love
her!Have you ever concidered growing a handelbar mustache? yes. and I've tried
painting melting clocks. Have you ever seen a turkey when it hasnt bfeen cooked
yet. Yes. and,I slaughter about two dozen turkeys eack november. this is farm
country. Dddo you still have your fingers and toes? I mean ALL of them. yes,
though just bearly. my righty little finger is interestlingly deformed. and
have you ever tried to read the funny paper upside down to see if it was more
funny that way? I tried this. I think it was coincidental.
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Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1993 01:34:30 -0400
From: Barry Shein <bzs@world.std.com>
Message-Id: <199307110534.AA22327@world.std.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Violent TV's (or was that TV Violence?)
Oh come now sirrah. Next you'll be telling us that you've looked
around and noticed that a lot of the violence which children are
involved in seems to correlate with depths of despair living
conditions where either you have a 9mm auto in your diaper or you're
likely to be sold into infant sex slavery to pay for your mom's next
drug fix while the nice dressed people whizzing by quickly in their
jaguars and bmws sell out your future to slavering multi-nationals and
their lawyers as these kids try to understand the sense in growing up
in a world where the news media quotes airhead politicians blaming all
of society's ills on that most evil thing of all SINGLE WELFARE
MOTHERS, namely your mom, single welfare mothers who hold the entire
country in a death-grip of economic ruin and through their mesmerizing
political forces have driven this country into massive debt so big
that we're all being forced at great personal cost to upgrade to
64-bit computers merely to keep track of the interest we owe to the
banks, a world where any reading of the rules says that you were born
to go nowhere and you'd better get used to it but how can you when
almost every person you might possibly look up to for guidance is
serving hard time for burglary or assault or has just gotten out and
is so bitter that all they can do is sit in the living room all day
with the shades pulled and the lights out muttering obscenities over
cheap beer and trying to get re-oriented with life by keeping a parole
officer happy and improving their pool game?
And YOU think that the underlying cause of violence in these cases is
NOT Captain Xebor bopping the evil dragon on the head with his magic
sword of good and power or Wenda the Magnificent who can shoot icicles
out of her fingers and render purple space aliens completely powerless
every saturday morning like clockwork?
You oughta have your head examined.
-b, I am, therefore I rant.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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