Today's Topics:
(2 msgs)
ahhh, the wonders of the net
MMM, that's real frog...
No Bobby here
yadkwtgo...
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From: "/u/andym/.mailbox" <andym@deeptht.armory.com>
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1993 08:03:55 -0700
In-Reply-To: <Subgenius-request%mc.lcs.mit.edu@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
"Subgenius Digest V4 #137" (Jul 15, 12:00am)
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Message-Id: <9307150803.aa17935@deeptht.armory.com>
Well, I don't know. Maybe if you removed the >correct< 90% of the brain, you
wouldn't know the difference (except that your head would be a little lighter!)
It would sure help if we were able to remove single brain cells...
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From: HsuEC@mt1.laafb.af.mil
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: schmittec@mt1.laafb.af.mil
Subject:
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 93 10:29:00 PDT
Message-ID: <2C4599EA@afbmd.LAAFB.AF.MIL>
|BARNEY DOES BREAKFAST AND CHARGED WITH MURDER
|
|Washington June 25, 1993 (PETER FUNK PRESS)
|
|Barney the dinosaur, star of the children's television show Barney, went
|berserk this morning during his show and ate three of his child
|co-stars.
|
|News of Barney's arrest shocked the show business world. Barney comes
|from a show business family. His grandfather did stunt work in the film
|King Kong and worked as technical advisor on the film King Kong Versus
|Mohammed Ali. Barney's father played in the movie 1,000,000 Years B.C.
|and its sequel 1,000,001 B.C. His mother ran an acting school, which
|became famous for teaching iguanas the Stanislasky methods.
Wasn't the sequel actually 999,999 B.C.? I think he's thinking of the prequel,
in which Barney's father's father is turned towards the dark side.
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Date: Thu, 15 Jul 93 10:32:25 -0400
From: Eric Haines <erich@eye.com>
Message-Id: <9307151432.AA00508@hemlock>
To: subgenius@media-lab.media.mit.edu
Subject: ahhh, the wonders of the net
>} Newsgroups: clari.news.trouble,clari.news.canada
>} Subject: Lawyer testing high-rise window plunges to death
>}
>} TORONTO (UPI) -- Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety
>} of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with
>} his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.
>
> DOBBSTOWN (UPI) -- Police said a clueless Bobby demonstrating
>the reposting of someone else's article in a SubGenius Digest was thrown
>through a window with his gerbil and plunged 24 floors to his death.
>
>Mr. Hines,
>
>I'm so glad that you liked my posting so much that you decided that you
>wanted to share it with everyone on the Subg Digest -- except THAT'S
>WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Strange, I had not realized the Subgenius Digest was now posting without a
header and using my friend's email address at CMU as a return address. No
doubt the xray spy satellites were shooting beams at that moment and clouding
my vision. Since the posting was originally on clari.news.trouble and
clari.news.canada, perhaps it got to a few people other than those on the Subg
list? Nahhh, that's a pretty radical theory, the spy satellites are a lot
more likely. I did not notice this clip on the Subg list before, which I
attribute to the Men in Black breaking into my computer at night in search of
my research on radical new forms of Watusi dance moves. Though this could all
just be a red herring to cover up the Trilateral Commission's manipulations of
Japanese street slang to alter our meta-hierarchy of cascaded meanings. The
lawyer was only the newest victim in the vast number of people's lives who
have been ruined by the anti-fluoridation campaigns waged by the
crypto-oligopolists in control of the chalk supply. I hope that clears up the
confusion.
Superior, or posterior?
Eric
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Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1993 03:33:52 -0400
From: Barry Shein <bzs@world.std.com>
Message-Id: <199307150733.AA00895@world.std.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: MMM, that's real frog...
From: stuff available list available on request--just ask for it! <rgardner@charon.mit.edu>
>Then there is the question of which frog contains the most nu-
>tritional information. A blended or whole frog?
Actually, in nutrition labs the easiest and a very common way to
figure out what some bizarre diet did to a rat is to toss the rat in a
blender until well-done and just do some analytic and quantitative
chemistry on the result, run the remains through a paper chromatograph
or taste it or whatever.
This result is known as rat homogenate in the trade.
I don't think frog homogenate contains any nutritional INFORMATION,
but perhaps there is some way to divine the future by watching for
signs as the bits go round and round?
It's all enough to make me want to be back in the lab...I wonder if
they ever homogenate larger animals?
-b
Oh, P.S.:
TORONTO (UPI) -- Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety
of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with
his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.
I understand this is mandatory with every message on SubG now.
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Message-Id: <00416.2825580008.6320@instance.com>
Organization: Digitalk Professional Services, Portland, Oregon
To: Subgenius <Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
From: Tim O'Connor <toc@digitalk.com>
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1993 11:09:23 PST
Subject: No Bobby here
Reply to: No Bobby here
> Mr. Hines,
> I'm so glad that you liked my posting so much that you decided that you
> wanted to share it with everyone on the Subg Digest -- except THAT'S
> WHERE YOU GOT IT FROM IN THE FIRST PLACE!
> Thanks for sharing.
> -- Alonzo Fonts
Mr. Fonts:
I must take OFFENSE at your recent denigration of a TRUE SubGenius. LONG
time readers OF this list know Mr. HAINES as a SubGenius of high REPUTE,
among the few PRIVILEGED to wear "Bob's" own UNDERWEAR after eating of the BEAN
(and after appropriate DEREGULATION, of course!). FURTHERMORE Mr. Haines has
his OWN sources of such NEWS articles as yours. His ONLY crime in this
instance would be to have the GALL to post AFTER you did but BEFORE reading
YOUR post.
You OWE him $20.
neither holy, sacred, nor Curly be,
to'c
-- "A typical long haired half mad computer programmer on a typical computer keyboard with odd toys scattered liberally about."------------------------------
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 93 09:41:19 CDT From: Rex Black <rex@iquery.iqsc.com> Message-Id: <9307151441.AA02244@qasun.iqsc.COM> To: uunet!mc.lcs.mit.edu!Subgenius@uunet.uu.net Subject: yadkwtgo...
So, how 'bout the dude with the wild-colored wig who used to show up at sporting events with a "Jesus Saves" tee-shirt and a placard reading "John 3:16"? He was sentenced to three life terms in prison in California this week for some kind of kidnapping or another. Some talking head or another commented that he was "another David Koresh waiting to go off." (I guess that applies to just about anyone who would shoot back at armed people attacking them at home, but that's a whole different diatribe.) There must be a sick and twisted story to go along with this sound bite. Anyone want to share it? Also, we could speculate on what will happen to our latest--and far less crispy--Koresh when he finds himself in a cell with Kinko the Kid-Loving Clown.
Rex
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End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
