Today's Topics:
The Omish cash in.
Viking For "Bob" Captured By the Anti-"Bob"!
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Date: Mon, 23 Aug 1993 09:07:25 -0400
From: Michael L Turyn <mturyn@world.std.com>
Message-Id: <199308231307.AA12130@world.std.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Actually, it 's:
"Get thee down, and DO that hole in the Law. HAHH!''
--SlackMasterCleavianissimussians II:8
ALEISTER CROWLEY = SWELL RYE EROTICA
= O WET ECLAIR LYRES
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Date: Mon, 23 Aug 93 12:52:22 CST
Message-Id: <9308231852.AA00jgq@podbox.UUCP>
From: Wiley Wiggins <podbox!weevil@cs.utexas.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The Omish cash in.
Are SubGenius factions in the Omish community
emerging in the 90's?
POO-PETS:
a small Omish community has invented what has become a huge tourist
craze for their area- "POO-PETS". For 15$ a piece, tourists have been buying
these wonderful country creations, which consist entirely of a DRIED COW CHIP,
and a couple of PLASTIC EYES! Contrary to what you might think, The pinks are
making these old folks far richer than any of the omish's less succesful
furniture ventures were able to.
Last week several janitors at the CFR related for a news crew, which was
later bombed, that the pets were worth FAR MORE than 15$, they in fact believed
that the omish were unwittingly smuggling DRUGS, FAIRY MAGIC,and URANIUM in the
innocent looking little excretions, while may be a bit hard to believe, the
janitors advised to watch for a watered down cover up on 60 minutes sometime in
1994-95. In frop induced conversation about radnom topics, the janitors
remarked that they believed that "St. Paul ruined christianity", and that "it
could have been a pretty fun loving religion". They also commented that if the
Mother Theresa dies, Catholicism will have lost it's one last redeeming
quality.
weevil
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From: Justin Sampson <hoperift@armory.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Viking For "Bob" Captured By the Anti-"Bob"!
Date: Sun, 22 Aug 93 22:42:17 PDT
Message-Id: <9308222242.aa12375@deeptht.armory.com>
Viking For "Bob" Captured By the Anti-"Bob"!
On Thursday, August 19, 1993, the entire Holy Cross Clench of Sacred Blood
(Santa Cruz, California) spoke through the medium of a Ouija Board to a
spirit we know only as "Virgil". "Virgil" was apparently captured at a
young age by Norse warriors and raised as a Viking. When he died in 956
A.D., "Virgil" was condemned to hell for reasons he would not disclose and
remained there until he was released, eight years ago. Since that time,
he has been living in the house in which we held the seance, that of one
of our most prominent members.
When asked why he was released from hell, "Virgil" gave the cryptic reply,
"U MUST KNOW BELIEVE HILL WILL JOIN U". We established that "HILL" is not
a person, but is a small mountain, though it is not any specific hill.
"Virgil" also referred to a "FIGHT" with nothing we now know about. He
spoke of a "LYGHT" in the night and said that the moon somehow represents
us.
At about that time, "Virgil" seemed to become frantic. When we asked
what the matter was, he said, "MEPHISTOPHELES IS NIGH". When asked if
there was a point to our conversation, "Virgil" said, "WHILE U WERE WAKED
I LOOK EMPTY". He said that we should "LOOK UPON THE STARS".
The final few lines of the conversation may be best related word-for-word:
Us: "Does this have to do with aliens?"
Him: "Live."
Us: "Are you speaking of the Xists who are coming in 1998?"
Him: "Yes."
Us: "Are you speaking for ``Bob''?"
Him: "Yes. Goodbye."
Is the "LYGHT" in the night the light from the stars upon which we are
supposed to look? By looking upon the stars, are we looking to the Xists?
Do the messages "FIGHT" and "MEPHISTOPHELES IS NIGH" refer to the holocaust
and the Econocataclysm, and is the "HILL" going to "JOIN" us in that battle?
We have no idea what "Virgil" meant by "WHILE U WERE WAKED I LOOK EMPTY",
and his hasty departure is equally puzzling.
We look forward to any commentary which may be tossed in our direction.
- Hoperift - hoperift@armory.com -
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End of Subgenius Digest
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