And they fell for it!? Man, I've just been using the *wrong* pickup
lines all along...
- --
Steven King, Proprietor of the PShrink Wrap BBS
veck@pshrink.chi.il.us
Data Communications for the Psychology Professional 2400: +1 708 487 9727
"Put your analyst on danger money, baby... Now!" 14400: +1 708 487 5864
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
-
Replies are directed back to gt-pfrc@mystery.com
To reply to the author, write to veck@pshrink.chi.il.us (Steven King)
------- End of Forwarded Message
-- dr foo
------------------------------
From: dryfoo@mit.edu
Message-Id: <9311112021.AA15240@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: It's been awhile...
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 93 15:21:30 EST
...since we've gotten any News of the Weird(R) (TM) (C). This landed in
my hopper just before I hit the road for a few weeks, hence the delay.
Here it all is.
} Date: Mon, 4 Oct 1993 23:29:46 PDT
} From: cate3.osbu_north@xerox.com
}
} ----------------------------------------------------
}
} In July, three trained dolphins escaped from their performing pen at an
} exclusive resort in Key Largo, Fla., and swam away. They were found
} several days later in a lagoon by a golf course on Key Biscayne, Fla.,
} where, on their own, they showed up at 10 a.m., 2 p.m., and 4 p.m. (the
} same times as the Key Largo shows), and performed tricks, apparently
} hoping to be fed.
}
} --------------------------
}
} In December near Mineral Wells, Texas, three men who were attempting to
} steal copper wire off live electrical lines for resale were
} electrocuted. Copper wiring is a valuable scrap metal in Texas but is
} usually stolen from electric cables that are not being used.
}
} --------------------------
}
} In November, a St. Louis judge accepted a guilty plea from rock star Axl
} Rose to settle assault and property damage charges, permitting Rose an
} unusal privilege for a convicted criminal: He would not be totally
} forbidden from associating with ex-felons. Two members of his Guns N'
} Roses band are ex-felons.
}
} --------------------------
}
} Cleveland, Ohio, police captured a man on Dec. 31 who they say
} car-jacked a van at gunpoint from Clinton Clark, who had been sitting in
} it. Clark immediately reported the theft to police. After recovering
} the van and checking the vehicle identification, police also arrested
} Clark, charging him with theft of the van in the first place from a
} neighborhood support center.
}
} --------------------------
}
} Wesley Nunley, 73, pronounced the $10,000 concrete slab he built on his
} property near Dallas open for business as "UFO Landing Base 1." He said
} it has been a dream of his "for decades" to have aliens land on his
} property. The landing pad is located in a quarry and is surrounded by
} mud much of the year.
}
} --------------------------
}
} Former Quik Trip convenience store employee Mark Douglas, 32, was
} arrested for robbing a store in Overland Park, Kan. The robber wore a
} cap. When police asked Douglas whether he had such a cap, he said no.
} The girlfriend said, "Yes, you do. It's in the closet."
}
} --------------------------
}
} Part-time security guard Bob Huggins, 86, learned that his share of the
} Gaston Gazette's pension plan is nearly $1 million. Huggins began
} working at production jobs in 1926 and became a guard in 1974. He had
} never earned more than $8,000 in a year, and the company had no pension
} plan until 1989. Huggins' award is so large because the 1989 plan was
} poorly designed and because Huggins outlived all others in his employee
} category.
}
} --------------------------
}
} Henry County, Ga., jail inmate Mackey Junior Pope, 28, was apprehended
} in February after an escape attempt. Using a smuggled-in gun, he got
} the drop on four guards, locked them in a cell, and then crept along a
} hallway toward the front of the building. However, Pope had neglected
} to take the guards' walkie-talkies, and the front desk guards were
} waiting for him.
}
} --------------------------
}
} According to a recent study by University of California at Irvine
} researchers, violent criminals have five times as much of the metal
} manganese in their hair as do law-abiding citizens. The researchers
} have no explanation but seem confident that the metal is a symptom
} rather than a cause of the violent behavior.
}
} --------------------------
}
} * The Associated Press reported in April that the Red Belle Saloon in
} Salt Lake City is prospering under its new owners. Last year, bikers in
} a motorcycle gang called the Barons, whose clubhouse is near the bar,
} became angry at seeing the drug dealing, prostitution, and violent
} crimes taking place at the bar so they bought it, rehabilitated it, and
} set the clientele straight. [Raleigh News & Observer-AP, 4-14-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In March, the U. S. Court of Appeals in Denver dismissed a civil
} lawsuit by Merrill Chamberlain, who is serving a life sentence for the
} murder of an Albuquerque, N. Mex., police officer. Chamberlain had sued
} the Albuquerque Police Department and the city, claiming that he
} wouldn't have been guilty of murder if the officer had not allowed him
} surreptitiously to gain access to his handgun or if the officer had been
} wearing a bulletproof vest. [Albuquerque Journal, 4-1- 93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In April, Scott Abrams, 27, filed a $2 million lawsuit against the
} owners and managers of an apartment building for injuries he suffered in
} 1991 when he was hit by lightning while sitting on the roof of the
} building during an electrical storm. He said the defendants were
} negligent in maintaining the rooftop and should have provided signs and
} brighter paint, among other things. When hit, Abrams was sitting on a
} ledge on the roof with his feet in a water puddle; rescue workers
} revived him from cardiac arrest. [Arlington Journal, 4-13-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In February, a federal judge in Washington, D. C., dismissed a lawsuit
} filed by a sex offender serving time in D. C.'s Lorton Reformatory.
} Michael A. Johnson had filed the lawsuit for $12,500 because the prison
} store had charged him $6.00 for a $5.80 book of twenty 29-cent stamps.
} [Washington Post, 2-27-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In April in Los Angeles, B. R. Chavez, a small, slow-moving
} 77-year-old man who said he was sick of riding paint-vandalized buses,
} made a citizen's arrest of two boys, ages 18 and 15, who had started to
} spray-paint the bus he was riding. Chavez flashed a card with a drawing
} of an eagle on it and announced that the boys were under arrest. The
} bus driver signaled a police car, and the boys went quietly. The older
} boy was sentenced to three days in jail plus two years' probation and 30
} hours of graffiti-removal service. [Los Angeles Times, 4-29-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * New York Gov. Mario Cuomo demanded in early May that Oklahoma return
} Thomas Grasso to New York so that he can serve a 20-year-to-life
} sentence for a 1991 murder. Grasso is on death row in Oklahoma for a
} 1990 murder and has waived all appeals so that he can speed up his date
} with destiny. Grasso told The Daily Oklahoman newspaper that he is
} "perplexed" that New York still wants him, especially since Cuomo's
} decision will cost financially-strapped New York taxpayers at least a
} half million dollars if Grasso serves the minimum sentence before being
} returned to Oklahoma to be executed. [The Daily Oklahoman, 5-7-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Jane Bryne [B-R-Y-N-E], 42, was arrested in Clayton, Mo., in March and
} charged with possession of cocaine. She had been in the second row of a
} courtroom attending the robbery trial of her boyfriend when her purse
} fell out of her lap, sending the contents rolling underneath the seats
} to the front row. A police officer sitting in front of her gathered the
} lipstick and cosmetics to return them when he noticed one of the items
} was a vial of cocaine. [Columbia Daily Tribune-AP, 3-21-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * A Reading, Pa., kidnaping victim was freed in Philadelphia in April
} after two suspects, who had attempted to get $200 from the victim's
} daughter, told her to call back when she had the money and gave her
} their home telephone number. Police matched the phone number to an
} address, went to the house, arrested Claude Smith, and freed the victim.
} Smith's partner fled. [Reading Eagle/Times, 4-23-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In March, a SWAT team in Tucson, Ariz., drove Mark Allen Anderson, 35,
} from his armed, barricaded position in a metal house trailer by hurling
} so many bricks at the trailer that he soon gave up because of the noise.
} [Washington Times, 3-25-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} A civilian dog in Knoxville, Tenn., came home in December carrying in
} his mouth a bag of cocaine with a street value of $16,000. His owner
} declined police efforts to recruit the dog.
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In January, Canadian sculptor Raymond Mackintosh opened the annual
} Pennsylvania Farm Show in Harrisburg with a nearly-life-sized statue of
} a vendor scooping ice cream from a cart for a little boy and girl--but
} made entirely of butter. And last summer, Linda Christensen sculpted
} "butterheads" out of 85-lb. blocks of butter for the Minnesota State
} Fair. And in February in Chicago, Buddhist monk Sonam Dhargye exhibited
} several Tibetan yak butter sculptures, each about two feet high, at the
} Field Museum of Natural History. [Sikeston Daily Standard-AP, 1-8-93;
} L. A. Daily News, Sept92; Chicago Sun-Times, 2-15-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In February, an 86-year-old woman shopping in a Foodtown store in
} Union Township, N. J., stopped a 32-year-old woman she said was trying
} to steal from her purse. The elderly woman threw a sweet potato at the
} alleged thief with such force that it broke apart against her head and
} slowed her exit from the store so that she was soon captured. [[Central
} New Jersey Home News, Feb93]]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Officials conducting a district middle school spelling bee in Bell
} County, Ky., in April buzzed off finalist Amanda O'Bryan, age 12, when
} she spelled "label" L-A-B-E-L instead of the way they thought it should
} be spelled, L-A-B-L-E. The other finalist, who heard the judges rule
} L-A-B-E-L as incorrect, guessed correctly that what they wanted was
} L-A-B-L-E and was declared the winner, moving on to the state contest.
} [Louisville Courier-Journal, Apr93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} Los Angeles jail inmate Leslie White blew the whistle on alleged
} conspiracies between government prosecutors and inmates who would commit
} perjury. However, White himself was convicted of perjury in May while
} testifying about inmates' perjury.
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In May, Baron Trevor, 64, a member of the British House of Lords since
} 1950, took to the floor to make his very first speech to that body,
} saying that after 43 years he had finally found an issue "that affected
} the locality in which I live." He spoke on the need not to
} over-supervise police officers. [Boston Globe- Reuters, May93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In February, Wellington, New Zealand, police commander Murray Jackson
} told reporters that construction of a new police station and lockup
} would be delayed because the building would be subject to the new local
} safety code, which would require that prisoners have immediate access to
} exits in case of fire. According to Jackson, that would require
} furnishing them with keys. [Washington Times, 2-19-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In April, the Montana Legislature passed a harsh animal-abuse law that
} increased the penalty for a second conviction to two years in prison and
} a $1,000 fine. The state's maximum penalty for second-offense
} wife-beating is six months and $500. [Bozeman Daily Chronicle-AP, Apr93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Sheriff's deputies near Cudahy, Wis., arrested Michael Foster, 21, and
} a companion, 17, in April and charged them with theft of a large,
} electronic dart-game machine from a bar. When the heavy machine in the
} back of the boys' pickup truck caused it to sink into the mud in the
} tavern's parking lot, one of the boys called the sheriff to ask for a
} tow. Said sheriff's Lt. Jim Paape, "They didn't put a real lot of
} thought into this." [Shopper Community News, 4-18-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Kansas City, Mo., police reported that two music store break-ins over
} Memorial Day weekend netted the thieves nearly 1,000 empty CD boxes.
} They apparently thought they were stealing CDs, but the stores are among
} a growing number that remove the CDs themselves for safekeeping while
} displaying the boxes. [Kansas City Star, 6-7-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In April a Penn State University woman complained to local police in
} State College, Pa., that she had been ripped off. She said she had
} given a fellow student a $1,200 stereo to take an exam for her, but that
} he had flunked it and now wouldn't return her stereo. Buying academic
} work is illegal in Pennsylvania. [Columbus Dispatch, 4-23-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Todd A. Hummel, 23, was arrested in March, shortly after the Best
} Western motel in Cherokee, Iowa, was robbed. The desk clerk had no
} trouble identifying Hummel; only minutes before the robbery, he had
} checked into the motel as a guest, giving his actual name and home
} address in Cushing, Iowa. [Sioux City Journal, Apr93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In March in Houston, Tex., Humallah Mendenhall, 18, to obtain the
} local Crimestoppers cash reward, told police that his colleague David
} Clyde Spencer, 18, had murdered a convenience store clerk a few days
} before. Evidently, Mendenhall failed to realize that, when arrested,
} Spencer would turn him in, too, because Mendenhall allegedly drove the
} getaway car for the murder, and had allegedly committed another murder
} two months earlier. [Houston Post, 3-12-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In January in Ft. Wayne, Ind., a 16-year-old boy was accused by a
} younger boy in juvenile court of stealing a Penn State University
} athletic jacket. The 16-year- old happened to have worn the jacket to
} court that day, and the name of the younger boy was printed on the
} inside of a sleeve. [Ft. Wayne Sentinel, Jan93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Accused drug dealer Alfred Acree bolted from police in Charles City,
} Va., in April on a Saturday night and took off in the dark through the
} thick woods. However, police tracked him down easily because he was
} wearing new L. A. Gear athletic shoes containing small, battery-operated
} lights that light up each time the heel is pressed. Said sheriff's
} investigator Anthony Anderson, "Every time he took a step, we knew
} exactly where he was." [Newport News Daily Press, 4-8-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In May, a Pennsylvania appeals panel ruled that a student in
} Hempfield, Pa., expelled for selling marijuana in the school hallway,
} should be reinstated because he has a "learning disability" that somehow
} impeded his judgment. [Insight, 4-25-93]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * Last summer, Greg Morris, 38, of Tulsa, Okla., threatened lawsuits
} against several New Mexico state agencies because they failed rescue him
} and his family soon enough after his plane crashed around Taos earlier
} that year. The plane crashed around 8 p.m.; a volunteer-only search
} operation began around 9 p.m., and the crash site was discovered at 6:32
} the next morning. Said the Taos town manager, "We had a lot of
} volunteer citizens who gave of their own time without any compensation
} to help them find that airplane crash, and later to provide the victims
} with emergency first aid and rescue." [Daily Oklahoman-AP, Jul92]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * In December Dorothy Pritchard of New Haven, Conn., sued mechanic Doug
} Lopes for negligence in "repairing" her car. Lopes had stopped to help
} her on Interstate 95 on a Sunday evening. He trimmed the radiator hose
} on the overheating car and topped off the radiator with spring water he
} had in his car. Pritchard claimed that, 60 miles later, the hose came
} loose again and so sued Lopes for the hose, engine damage, the anguish
} of sitting with a broken-down car, and scratches in the paint job caused
} by Lopes. [New Bedford Standard-Times, 12-3-92]
}
} --------------------------
}
} * David Michael Russell was arrested in June in a tunnel-like attic
} above the Village Glen Plaza shopping center in Thousand Oaks, Calif.,
} where he had been living for the last three years. Inside his "home,"
} which was accessible only through crawl space, police found rugs,
} bookshelves and books, a desk, a TV, a microwave oven, and a stereo
} system. [Columbus Dispatch, Jun93]
}
}
} --------------------------
}
} Copyright 1993, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.
} Released for the personal use of readers. No commercial use may be made
} of the material or of the name News of the Weird.
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 93 10:53:28 EST
From: "Joshua D. Glasser" <glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
Message-Id: <9311111553.AA26091@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
In-Reply-To: <9311101100.aa06918@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: Who died and made you "Bob"?
Reply-To: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
