Today's Topics:
Janor performing in Boston, RIGHT NOW
Soak those cable customers, for Bob!
unsubscribe (2 msgs)
Where the hell's my GIFs? (2 msgs)
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Date: Tue, 16 Nov 93 06:42:21 GMT
From: ingria@bbn.com
Message-Id: <9311160642.AA18184@konitz.bbn.com>
To: mt@media.mit.edu
Cc: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
In-Reply-To: <9311152149.AA06644@mahler.media.mit.edu>
Subject: Janor performing in Boston, RIGHT NOW
Reply-To: ingria@bbn.com
Date: Mon, 15 Nov 93 16:49:40 -0500
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
For those with a taste for the tasteless, for those who are offended
by the unoffensive...
Ladies and gentlemen, the height of depth...
THE FINAL SOLUTION to the entertainment problem
Anti-comedian Janor Hypercleets & Cleave Duncan
Special "musical" guests The Wellers & Dealers
A slight correction: that's The Wheelers and Dealers, and, unless
their line-up has changed, Mr. Brother Cleave will be playing
keyboards with them, and, no doubt, performing his smash hit song:
``(She's) My Sister, My Mother, My Wife''. They also have the
fabulous Patrick McGrath (a true Yeti if there was one, formerly of
The Condo Pygmies and other excellent musical organizations) fronting
them and the fabulous Fritz Ericson (formerly of Gang Green, Band 19,
The Neighborhoods, etc.) on lead guitar. A truly subgenial band.
Also starring "God knows who else"
And she ain't talking.
Middle East Cafe, 9:00 PM Tuesday Nov 16. $5 cover.
Be there or don't!
-30-
Ye Fra Irrumabo, His Marke
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Date: Tue, 16 Nov 93 11:18:30 PST
From: Sam Sjogren <sjogren@tgv.com>
Message-Id: <931116111757.20e008ff@TGV.COM>
Subject: Soak those cable customers, for Bob!
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
SOAK THOSE CABLE CUSTOMERS! 11/16/93
Washington Post
WASHINGTON -- The nation's largest cable TV company urged its managers
to ''take advantage'' of a new federal law and raise their prices -- and
then lay the blame on Washington.
A top executive of Denver-based Tele-Communications Inc. (TCI), which
has 500,000 customers in the Bay Area and 10.4 million nationwide,
outlined the company's policy in an internal memo dated Aug. 20, 11 days
before new cable rate rules took effect.
Barry Marshall, chief operating officer of a TCI subsidiary, instructed
system managers and division vice presidents in his memo to raise rates
for various ''transaction'' services, such as customer-service calls,
VCR hookups and cable hookups. TCI had provided these services free or
at nominal cost.
''We have to have discipline,'' wrote Marshall. '' . . . We cannot be
disuaded (sic) from the charges simply because customers object. It will
take awhile, but they'll get used to it. . . .
''The best news of all,'' added Marshall, ''is, we can blame it on
re-regulation and the government now. Let's take advantage of it!''
TCI owns the cable systems in San Jose, Fremont, Sunnyvale, Cupertino,
Los Altos, Hayward, San Mateo, San Carlos, Santa Cruz and Foster City.
TCI is also a limited partner in Intermedia, which owns South Bay
CableVision, which serves approximately 70,000 subscribers in
communities including Milpitas, Los Gatos, Mountain View, Newark,
Saratoga and Santa Clara.
Cable companies and the Federal Communications Commission have come
under fire in recent weeks after new cable TV price rules went into
effect Sept. 1. Although touted as a way to bring down the rising cost
of cable TV, the new rules written by the FCC have in some cases had the
opposite effect. Many cable operators have raised charges for their
services, leading to complaints that the FCC left ''loopholes'' in its
rules.
The cable industry also has criticized the new rules, saying that they
pose an onerous regulatory burden that will cut deeply into industry
revenues. During the congressional debate last year, TCI and its chief
executive, John Malone, were among the staunchest opponents of the bill.
In recent months, however, the company has moderated its tone, saying
publicly that it is actively working to accommodate all of the
regulatory changes.
TCI's Marshall did not back away from his memo Monday. ''My message to
my people is that there are new rules, new economics in this business.
There are things that we have not charged for that we can, and we should
start making sure we have the discipline to charge for them.''
He added, ''I was being candid about the facts of life in an internal
memo. If I was saying that publicly, I would have said it more artfully.
But it is what it is.''
Asked for a response Monday, FCC interim chairman James Quello called
Marshall's memo ''unfortunate.''
He said it ''typifies the attitude of cable companies (that are)
engaging in creative pricing and rate increases to evade the intent of
Congress and the FCC. There is little doubt that the cable industry has
an economic stake in discrediting the congressional act they vehemently
and unsuccessfully opposed.''
Quello said Monday that the FCC will investigate to determine which
cable industry rate increases represent ''culpable evasions'' of
Congress' intent and which are legal. It may be necessary, he said, for
the FCC to initiate action to close loopholes in the law.
TCI last month announced a $26 billion merger with Bell Atlantic Corp.
to form the largest cable TV and telephone company in the world.
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 93 09:02:43 EST
From: Boris Gokhman <boris@riker.read.tasc.com>
Message-Id: <9311161402.AA03684@riker.Read.TASC.COM>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: unsubscribe
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 1993 13:58:06 EST
From: "THEY CAN'T BE WHAT THEY CAN'T BELIEVE. THEY CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU SEE." <christine@maple.circa.ufl.edu>
Reply-To: christine@ufcc.ufl.edu
To: SUBGENIUS@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-ID: <00975A11.12E43A80.9640@maple.circa.ufl.edu>
Subject: UNSUBSCRIBE
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9311161704.AA27026@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@mit.edu>
To: trevay@marcam.com
Cc: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Where the hell's my GIFs?
Date: Tue, 16 Nov 93 12:04:21 EST
} Subgenius Digest Tue, 16 Nov 93 Volume 4 : Issue 209
}...
} Reply-To: trevay@marcam.com
} From: "Swami-ji B. Jeebees (\"x\"" <@regina.marcam.com:trevay@marcam.com>
}...
} Haven't any of you low-life amphibians from Texarcana scanned a
} Dobbshead in yer tadpole lifetimes? What the hell kind of invertebrates
} are you, anyway?
}
} *** BLOOD SLUGS? ***
}
} Send me something, a Dobbshead, a bleeding Palmerhead, pictures of "Bob"
} Harvey Oswald buying cheap Italian bolt-action steel from hooded
} volunteers of the IRA, any gumdurn thing. Or kill me.
}
} ("x") The Venerable Maha Swami-ji B. Jeebees (His mark)
"Okay, Swami, we'll get back to this Christ-Consciousness racket in a
moment..."
Well, since you've asked so nicely, you sanctified rat-rectum of Slack,
here is the only Dobbs icon I have on hand. I call it Coz McBob for
obvious reasons. And I've made a special little custom modification,
just for you.
Now go back to molesting pre-teen girls, and don't call us again 'til
you've got your picture in the Inquirer or on a post office wall.
fraternally and sincerely yours,
-- dr foo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#define dobbs_width 64
#define dobbs_height 64
#define dobbs_x_hot 44
#define dobbs_y_hot 50
static char dobbs_bits[] = {
0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xbf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xfe, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xfd, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0x1f, 0x00, 0xe0, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xfd, 0xc7, 0xff,
0x8f, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xde, 0xf1, 0xff, 0x3f, 0xfe, 0xff, 0xff,
0x7f, 0xff, 0xfc, 0xff, 0xff, 0xfc, 0xef, 0xff, 0xbf, 0xff, 0x3e, 0x99,
0xf9, 0xf9, 0x1f, 0xfe, 0xcf, 0x7f, 0xbe, 0xcd, 0xfd, 0xf3, 0x3f, 0xfe,
0xcf, 0x3f, 0xbf, 0x6e, 0xfe, 0xf7, 0x3f, 0xfc, 0xff, 0x9f, 0xdf, 0xb6,
0xef, 0xe7, 0xff, 0xfb, 0xff, 0xcf, 0xff, 0x9f, 0xf7, 0xef, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0xe7, 0xfd, 0xff, 0x7f, 0xef, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0xc1, 0xff,
0x0f, 0xcf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0xfe, 0x01, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x38, 0x00, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00,
0x00, 0xde, 0xdf, 0xff, 0x7f, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00, 0x00, 0xde, 0xaf, 0xff,
0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00, 0x00, 0xde, 0xdf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00,
0x00, 0xde, 0xff, 0xf7, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00, 0x00, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00, 0x00, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00,
0x00, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf7, 0x00, 0x00, 0x00, 0xde, 0xfd, 0xff,
0xf7, 0xf7, 0xf8, 0x00, 0x7c, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x77, 0xfe, 0x01,
0xfe, 0xdd, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x77, 0x83, 0x03, 0x07, 0xdf, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0x77, 0xf3, 0x87, 0x3f, 0xdf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x77, 0x6b, 0x8f,
0x59, 0xdf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x77, 0x69, 0x80, 0x59, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0x77, 0x81, 0x81, 0x06, 0xde, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x67, 0x60, 0x80,
0x18, 0xcc, 0xf8, 0xff, 0xff, 0x6f, 0x00, 0x80, 0x00, 0x6c, 0x82, 0xff,
0xff, 0x6f, 0x00, 0x80, 0x00, 0x2c, 0xb1, 0xff, 0xff, 0x6f, 0x00, 0x80,
0x00, 0x8c, 0x88, 0xff, 0xff, 0x6f, 0x00, 0x88, 0x00, 0x44, 0xe4, 0xf7,
0xff, 0xcf, 0x80, 0x8b, 0x0e, 0x56, 0xf4, 0xff, 0xff, 0xdf, 0x41, 0x04,
0x11, 0x52, 0xf4, 0xff, 0xff, 0x1d, 0x23, 0x88, 0x20, 0x9b, 0xe4, 0xff,
0xff, 0x7f, 0x1d, 0x70, 0xc0, 0x3a, 0xe9, 0xff, 0xff, 0x7f, 0xe1, 0x01,
0x3c, 0x79, 0xe9, 0xff, 0xff, 0x7f, 0x42, 0xfe, 0x13, 0x7d, 0xe9, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0x82, 0x00, 0x08, 0x7d, 0xe9, 0xef, 0xff, 0xff, 0x02, 0x01,
0x86, 0x7c, 0xe9, 0xd7, 0xfb, 0xff, 0x04, 0xfe, 0x87, 0x7e, 0xe9, 0xef,
0xff, 0xfb, 0x05, 0x00, 0x46, 0x3e, 0xe9, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x09, 0x00,
0x4e, 0x9f, 0xe4, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x0b, 0xf8, 0x5c, 0x43, 0x74, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0x13, 0x00, 0x38, 0x39, 0xf2, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x17, 0x00,
0x70, 0x44, 0xf8, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x27, 0x00, 0xf0, 0x96, 0xfe, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0x4f, 0x00, 0xe8, 0xa7, 0xfe, 0xfe, 0xbf, 0xff, 0x9f, 0x00,
0xc4, 0x8f, 0xfe, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x3f, 0xff, 0x93, 0xef, 0xfe, 0xdf,
0xff, 0xff, 0x7f, 0x00, 0x38, 0xf7, 0xfe, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff,
0x7f, 0x77, 0xfe, 0xff, 0xe7, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x7f, 0x7e, 0xfe, 0xff,
0xff, 0xff, 0xfd, 0xff, 0xff, 0x3c, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xf8, 0xff,
0xff, 0x81, 0xdf, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xfd, 0xff, 0x7f, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0x8f, 0x7f, 0xaf, 0x7f, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x6f, 0x4d, 0xad,
0x56, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff, 0x4f, 0x65, 0x5e, 0xd5, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff,
0xff, 0x6f, 0x4c, 0xdd, 0x46, 0xff, 0xff, 0xff};
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
------------------------------
From: Heather_Eisthen@som-lrc.ucsd.edu
Message-Id: <CC767312@CCMail.UCSD.Edu>
Date: 16 Nov 93 01:44:00 -0800
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: where the hell's my GIFs?
The Venerable (?) Maha Swami-ji B. Jeebees writes:
> Haven't any of you low-life amphibians from Texarcana scanned a Dobbshead in
> yer tadpole lifetimes? What the hell kind of invertebrates are you, anyway?
you bleedin' pink, ANY true subgenius and even a lot of ordinary people know
that tadpoles and other amphibians are VERTEBRATES.
maybe no one will send you a dobbshead because they detect the mark of connie on
your collar.
sincerely,
heather "friend of amphibians" eisthen
heisthen@ucsd.edu
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
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