Today's Topics:
I have seen the Index...
WEIRDNUZ.302 -- last posting here
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Message-Id: <9312081951.AA13918@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: I have seen the Index...
Date: Wed, 08 Dec 93 14:51:49 EST
Dear Brother and Sister and Lobster SubGeniiii,
The path was marked "ftp whitehouse.gov". I took it. It led to me a
long strange index, containing marvelous things:
The entire US Budget,
the National Performance Review,
papers with titles like these: Broaden_focus_of_Inspectors_General,
Implementing-No-Till-Farming, Improving-Downtown-Highways,
Keeping-Out-Insect-Invaders, Making-Budgets-Flexible,
Providing-Support-to-Teens, Reclaiming-Landfills,
Reducing-Demand-for-Landfill-Space, Reducing-Domestic-Violence,
Reducing-the-Stigma-of-Welfare, Reinventing_Government_Action,
Serving-the-Isolated-Elderly
enormous files on Lyndon Larouche,
campaign posters for "Kibo for President",
and so on.
If you missed paying your cable bill last month, and so have some free
time, or if you love rooting round in old rumors (look up the Tavistock
conspiracy stuff in the Larouche section), this is the mother-lode of
on-line crap, truly it is high weirdness by internet.
Have fun,
-- dr foo
------------------------------
Message-Id: <9312081821.AA13453@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo" <dryfoo@mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: WEIRDNUZ.302 -- last posting here
Date: Wed, 08 Dec 93 13:21:43 EST
Dear Slackers, Slux, and Slackerettes,
Okay. Now you've had a taste. You want more? Thought so.
If you want to keep reading News of the Weird, send a short, tasteful
note to Mr. Shepherd at <notw-request@nine.org>, and if he is not
displeased, he will add you to the News of the Weird's own mailing list.
Tell him somebody else sent you.
-- dr foo
------- Forwarded Message
Subject: News of the Weird [302] - 19Nov93
To: notw@nine.org (News of the Weird)
Date: Fri, 3 Dec 1993 13:33:40 -0500 (EST)
Reply-To: notw-request@nine.org
From: notw-request@nine.org (NotW List Admin)
WEIRDNUZ.302 (News of the Weird, November 19, 1993)
by Chuck Shepherd
Lead Story
* The London newspaper The Guardian reported in October that Great
Britain's Department of National Heritage is likely to outlaw the
December 18 startup of a new satellite TV service, "TVs on TV"--an
all-transvestite channel. The channel originates in Germany. A
spokesperson said the voyeur audience is expected to be at least ten
times the crossdresser audience. [The Guardian, 10-12-93]
The Continuing Crisis
* In June, an Iowa administrative law judge ruled that former dishwasher
Tom Schneckloth had "good cause" for quitting his job at a restaurant in
Glenwood, Iowa, and was thus entitled to unemployment benefits. The
restaurant's owners--Kathy and Dan Smith--often had marital fights on
the premises and would sometimes throw kitchen knives at each other,
endangering Schneckloth and other employees. [Des Moines Register,
6-24-93]
* A hospital in Birmingham, England, came under fire in August for its
attempts to defray the cost of an expensive, sophisticated cancer
scanner by renting it out during down times to local farmers, so they
could use it to scan pigs' bodies to assure that only the meatiest ones
were allowed to breed. [Globe & Mail-Reuters, 8-29-93]
* Most of the 36 inmates jailed in Mason City, Iowa, started a hunger
strike on the morning of May 12 to protest the quality and portions of
the meals served to them. The strike went well at breakfast, but
inmates became weary and dropped all of their demands by lunch time.
[Daily Iowan-AP, 5-14-93]
* USA Today reported in October that two soccer coaches were asked to
resign at Smith Academy in Hatfield, Mass., because they had permitted
the older players to haze younger ones by pulling up their underpants to
give them "wedgies." [USA Today, 10-13-93]
* In January, Robert Williams, a University of Tennessee neurobiologist,
reported that the brains of successive generations of housecats are
getting smaller, probably attributable to their association with humans.
[Journal of Neuroscience-Baltimore Sun, 1-12-93]
* In April, Arkansas Gov. Jim Guy Tucker vetoed a bill that would have
encouraged the state's public schools to use important public documents
in class. He said he specifically objected to students' being exposed
to the Congressional Record, which he said contains "bizarre polemics on
religious and political positions." [Columbus Dispatch-AP, 4-10-93]
* In September, Warrant Officer Gregory S. Crandall was buried with full
military honors in Arlington Cemetery over the protests of his family.
The Pentagon believes Crandall died in Laos in 1971, but the family
continues to hope that he survived because the only part of his body
recovered was a tooth, which was placed alone in a full-sized steel
casket for the burial. [Washington Times, 9-18-93]
* In Grand Junction, Colo., in July, firefighters called to a potential
suicide scene were successful in talking a 42-year-old man down from the
courthouse roof, but they made backup preparations in case their
negotiations failed by borrowing a huge, inflatable hamburger from a
nearby Burger King to break the man's fall. [Summit, Colo., Daily News,
7-28-93]
* Abraham K. Krupinski, 19, and a 17-year-old housemate were arrested in
Milwaukee in February on drug distribution charges. Recovered from
their home, according to police, were 17 marijuana plants, gardening
supplies, two books on marijuana cultivation, and a hand-lettered board
game they created, roughly resembling Monopoly, called Dealing in
Dopesville, in which from 2 to 4 players toss dice and make drug deals
in different neighborhoods. (In place of Chance and Community Chest
cards are "Passport" and "Car alarm" cards.) [Milwaukee Sentinel, Feb93]
* Thomas Joseph Cummings, 24, shot himself to death in August in
Norfolk, Va., with police closing in on him, five hours after he had
killed a man in a doughnut shop in Severna Park, Md. Cummings had
borrowed the 21-year-old victim's inexpensive ballpoint pen five times
to make notes, returning it each time, and finally offered to buy it for
$2. When the owner declined because the pen had sentimental value, an
insistent Cummings pulled out a 9mm handgun and shot him five times.
[Baltimore Sun, 8-26-93]
* In September, Richard Ramirez, the notorious "Night Stalker" mass
murderer, failed a metal detector test at San Francisco County jail, and
x-rays detected items in his rectum. A subsequent stool revealed a
small handcuff key, an empty syringe, the cap of a pen, and a small
piece of cellophane on which was printed "I like chocolate." [San
Francisco Chronicle, 9-22-93]
The Weirdo-American Community
* Houston, Tex., police officer Anthony Scism was fired in July for a
December 1992 incident. After stopping a female motorist, Scism
allegedly told her he was a baby and would take the woman to jail if she
would not feed him milk from her breasts. The woman said that she told
Scism that he could buy Enfamil, a baby milk formula, at a nearby
convenience store but that he insisted on breast milk. [Houston Post,
7-20-93]
Least Competent Person
* Norman Alafriz Toro, 32, of Silver Spring, Md., was arrested in
October and charged with counterfeiting. Toro allegedly tried to pass
12 $100 bills off to undercover police officers, who found 5,000 more
$100 bills at his home. The bills, made on a copying machine, were lime
green in color. [Washington Post, Oct93]
Copyright 1993, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights
reserved. Released for the personal use of readers.
No commercial use may be made of the material or of the
name News of the Weird.
------- End of Forwarded Message
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
