Today's Topics:
Photos 4 Bob
The answer (long post)
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From: Scott Johnson <skotjnsn@armory.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Date: Sat, 29 Jan 94 16:32:52 PST
Message-ID: <9401291632.aa06352@deeptht.armory.com>
Ha! Last year, I got one of those christian questionairres, and I circled every
"undecided", leaving the last couple of questions blank. I had previously made
photocopies, and I sent in several like this. I [D[D"undecided" forms. I thought it was pretty nny.
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Date: Sat, 29 Jan 1994 12:49:33 -0600
From: Steve Guccione <guccione@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu>
Message-Id: <199401291849.AA26991@donald.cc.utexas.edu>
To: SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Photos 4 Bob
Cc: glasserj@sun.mcs.clarkson.edu
Saw the following in the "Notices" section of the Austin Chronicle
(January 28, 1994):
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WHO'S NEXT?
PLEASE MAIL RITUAL abuse pic-
tures of Bob: rape, jail, etc. photos
(xerox and mail with gloves) to: FBI,
P. O. Box 26491, Austin, Tx 78755.
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Not sure exactly what it means, but it looks like a noble cause.
-- Steve
-- 1/29/94
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Date: Sat, 29 Jan 1994 15:24:40 -0500
From: Hugh Gwyn <hgwyn@magellan.geo.usherb.ca>
Message-Id: <9401292024.AA13396@magellan.geo.usherb.ca>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: The answer (long post)
1. Do you think American families are weakened by over-taxation?
No, they are weakened by National Enquirer, TV and
ass-wipe televangelists.
2. Would you be willing to pay additional taxes for more prisons and
police to comply with the biblical mandate to punish crime?
No, the Bible states, and Jesus reiterates this point,
that we must forgive to be forgiven.
3. Is government controlled health care consistent with biblical
principals.
Yes, the proof is that it is a fundement of Jewish
law, which is based solely on the Bible. Also remember Sodom
and Gohomera (sp?) who where distroyed for social injustices
not homosexuality.
4. Does federal funding of abortion under every circumstance violate
the Christian conscience?
No, Christ taught freedom, love and generosity, I
might not be in agreement with abortions, but who am I do
decide for others? And who are you?
5. If health-care rationing were to occur, do you think the elderly
and unborn would be placed at greater risk?
No, of course not, but what with back biting coniving
anti-tax people like you, they won't have the money to do
other wise.
6. Do you believe that suicide or "medically assisted" suicide is an
acceptable moral option for someone facing a terminal illness?
Yes! Jesus was helped to die. (heh) I would think torture
would be against your principals.
7. Do you believe that legalized gambling (lotteries, horse/dog racing
and casinos) is a moral way to raise tax revenues?
Of course not, but then, who are you to judge? Also,
see question #5.
8. Should the National Endowment for the Arts continue to use your tax
dollars to fund lesbian homosexual art?
Yes, who are you to condemn them, ass-wipe.
9. Do you believe that sex education courses that teach "safe sex" and
the use of condoms encourage immoral behavior?
Of course not, the example of there parents is more
than enough, safe sex and condoms are survival, not immoral.
Dieing (sp?) of ingorance is STUPID.
10. Should abstinence-based sex-education courses be allowed in the
public schools?
Yes, but not exclusivly.
11. Are you in favor of voluntary prayer in the public schools?
^^^^^^^^^
Yes, in a special room set aside, not in the FUCKING
CLASSROOM. There should be one for christians, one for
muslims, one for jews, one for hindus. (and I skip some) All
theses beliefs have different needs.
12. Do you favor educational choice: Giving parents a voucher or tax
credit to be used by parents to pay the tuition at the school of
their choice -- public or private?
No, that would create elitism, but then maybe some
could feel the fucked up schools you've spawned.
13. Do you agree that homosexuals should be granted special rights
based on their sexual preference in the areas of housing and
employment?
No, only equal rights, same as you straighty.
14. Do you have confidence that the Social Security Administration
will be able in 20 years to fulfill its duty to meet the promises
made to contributors today?
No, but then does it mater, the world will be so
different that promises made today won't be aplicable. Look
at promises made 20 years ago. Road system, integration,
equal rights HA what a fucking laugh.
15. Do you think ministers should speak out more often on today's
pressing national issues?
Who give a flying fuck about the ministers?
16. Do you think that local prosecutors should more vigorously
prosecute adult bookstore owners under anti-obscenity laws?
No, what you got against sex, brother?
17. Do you believe there is a link between pornography and sexually
violent crime?
Of course fucking not dim witted fool.
18. Do you believe that Christians are being discriminated against in
the national news media?
No, they generate there own bad press, no need to lie.
19. Do you believe Christians are being well-represented in the media?
Far to well represented, when was the last time a
hindu was a news reader?
20. Do you think Christians should be more involved in the political
process?
It is there right, guaranted by law, BUT they must
realise that they are not alone in the world, that other
people need to be heard and have the same right to be heard.
21. Which two of the following issues concern you most:
Tax increases (But boy, when it's time for the tithe...)
Special rights for gays (You seem fixated on homosexuality)
Health care reforms (Damn straight, boyo!
Health=work=prosperity=end of poverty)
Federal deficit spending (LESS WAR NO WAR that's
Jesus's way, isn't it?)
Loss of religious freedom (For every one who isn't
christian, there no freedom to
lose)
Abortion/mercy killing (Damn straight, like the guy
you guned down last year. Way ta go)
22. Additional comments:
When I see dreck like this it makes me feel grand to
live north of the border in freezing Canada. Boy do I rue the
day that NAFTA passed. Think go start a revolution like the
Mexicans did.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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