Today's Topics:
Fwd: Ollie North
Hillary Clinton to Resign?!?
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Message-ID: <EhGwcv200YUoI36I8y@andrew.cmu.edu>
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 1994 09:54:51 -0500 (EST)
From: Peter Glen Berger <peterb+@cmu.edu>
To: The Dan & Eric Mailing List <danampersanderic+@andrew.cmu.edu>,
Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Fwd: Ollie North
In-Reply-To: <94028.06450734ZPUIL@CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU>
Starting rumors is FUN.
---------- Forwarded message begins here ----------
From: tom diesen <34ZPUIL@CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU>
Message-ID: <94028.06450734ZPUIL@CMUVM.CSV.CMICH.EDU>
Newsgroups: talk.rumors
Subject: Re: Ollie North
References: <CK18ED.I7L@dcs.glasgow.ac.uk> <0hEo3Zq00YUoEPR44R@andrew.cmu.edu>
<9401262110.46@rmkhome.com> <obiwanCKApE6.I9@netcom.com>
<1994Jan27.191319.1@uoft02.utoledo.edu>
Lines: 15
In article <1994Jan27.191319.1>, rdilwor@uoft02.utoledo.edu
says:
>
>In article CKApE6, obiwan@netcom.com (obiwan) writes:
>>alleged earthling Rick Kelly wrote:
>>$Peter Glen Berger (peterb+@CMU.EDU) wrote:
>>$:I heard that Ollie North is gay as a French poodle.
>>$I heard that Ollie North is having an affair with a French poodle.
>>I heard that Ollie North is having an affair with a French hooker.
>I heard that Ollie North is a french hooker
Let's get one thing straight, if Ollie's a hooker, he's a patriotic
'MERICAN hooker! :)
-- Ollie in '96! --
signoff
Peter Berger <peterb@cmu.edu>
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From: dcbrogde@cats.ucsc.edu
Date: Sun, 30 Jan 1994 13:28:07 -0800
Message-Id: <199401302128.NAA21386@si.ucsc.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Hillary Clinton to Resign?!?
>Message-ID: <070303Z30011994@anon.penet.fi>
>Path: darkstar.UCSC.EDU!agate!howland.reston.ans.net!europa.eng.gtefsd.com!uunet!EU.net!news.eunet.fi!anon.penet.fi
>Newsgroups: talk.rumors,talk.bizarre
>From: an31984@anon.penet.fi (The Warren Commission)
>X-Anonymously-To: talk.rumors,talk.bizarre
>Organization: Anonymous contact service
>Reply-To: an31984@anon.penet.fi
>Date: Sun, 30 Jan 1994 06:53:07 UTC
>Subject: Hillary Clinton to Resign
>Lines: 41
>Xref: darkstar.UCSC.EDU talk.rumors:5705 talk.bizarre:132589
The Whitewater scandal has claimed it's first casualty today as First Lady
Hillary Rodham Clinton announced she would resign, effective midnight
January 31, 1994. In a shocking statement, delivered to the National
Press Club, Mrs. Clinton stated, "There is much work to be done and I
don't mean to imply that it is nearly finished. But I feel that the
questions surrounding the Whitewater investigation overshadow the hard
work and committment of those trying to do whatever it is they're trying
to do in this administration. I quit. I'm finished. Good-bye." The often
rambling statement went on for nearly 20 minutes, in which Mrs. Clinton
made frequent references to Joan of Arc and Lorena Bobbitt, and finally
concluded with the statement, "How sad you'll all be when you don't have
Hillary to kick around anymore."
When asked if she were being forced out, Mrs. Clinton responded with,
"None of your beeswax, Miss Nosey Parker!"
President Clinton, out jogging, could not be reached for comment, neither
could First Daughter Chelsea. However, when questioned by ABC's Sam
Donaldson, Socks the First Cat gave made an emotional plea for
understanding, saying tearfully, "You people just don't understand.
You're animals. No, you're worse than animals. They don't eat their
own."
As a result of Mrs. Clinton's resignation, it is expected that First
Mistress Gennifer Flowers will assume the responsibilities Mrs. Clinton
leaves behind.
It is not known what Mrs. Clinton's future plans will be. Though she made
a veiled reference to her past as a performance artist in New York's
Greenwich Village, sources close to the First Lady claimed she was just
being nostalgic.
Chief Justice Earl Warren
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--
continuing in the quest to destroy|In case of emergency, panic unmercifully;
B%rney and disseminate Slack. . . |it's the least you can do. (Panic!!!)
|If you have a problem with any of this,
David C. "Davy Baby" Brogden |you can try to kill me with a forklift...
dcbrogde@cats.ucsc.edu |
Santa Cruz, California, USA, Earth| "It's gonna be a wacky shredfest."
| -- Steve Masters
=======> Dave's Propaganda Blitz -- finger dcbrogde@ucscb.ucsc.edu <========
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End of Subgenius Digest
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