Today's Topics:
ahh....smithers
Have no clue, will follow
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From: HIS2DGC <HIS2DGC@arts-01.novell.leeds.ac.uk>
To: SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Mon, 16 May 1994 17:05:22 GMT
Subject: ahh....smithers
Message-Id: <1572BC559F9@arts-01.novell.leeds.ac.uk>
d'oh - helooo,
it's merely a netbaby testing the waters for uncle SubGs - is there
rain in spain or do i have to eat more chippolatas for tea?
hmm, time to address the 13th century beguine conundrum now. stay
slack and write soon y'all.
lost of lurve,
rev doris ivy
(the Collapsed Lung Confessor)
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Message-Id: <9405161346.AA05663manitoba.marcam.com>
Date: Mon, 16 May 1994 09:43:46 EDT
Reply-To: trevay@marcam.com
From: "Swami-ji B. Jeebees (\"x\"" <@manitoba.marcam.com:trevay@marcam.com>
To: Subgenius Slackmailer <subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu>
Subject: Have no clue, will follow
>From: mathew <mathew@mantis.co.uk>
>Subject: I've been outweirded
>
>>From my incoming mailbox this morning:
>
> From: <deleted>@aol.com
> Message-Id: <9405122300.tn49946@aol.com>
> To: mathew@mantis.co.uk
> Date: Thu, 12 May 94 23:00:09 EDT
> Subject: help
>
> Are you aware of/would you be so kind as to direct me to a/the group
> pertaining to depiction of women smoking?
>
>mathew
>Official Meta-Pope of Hamburgers for WOTAN, Inc.
Some time ago, it was written:
"Ever notice that IMHO sounds a lot like `I'm a whore'?--that's why
every time you see those letters you should think `Who's the pimp?'."
-- _"Bob"'s Big Book of Things to Say, Think, and Do on the Net_,
O'Reilly & Assoc., Dobbstown (1984)
Since that time, the aol site has been added. And whilst watching the
Toronto/San Jose hockey game this past Saturday night, as I chased several
shots of Wild Turkey with pints of Shipwreck Ale, I heard the voice of
"Bob" speaking to me -- He seems to like to talk to me when I'm meditating
on the graven images presented on the teevee, and when He does, the teevee
always goes kinda outta focus and the room starts to spin and I get this
convulsing feeling in my guts like I have to go to the excremeditation
chamber for awhile. It's cool. Anyway, He said:
"Ever notice that 'aol' sounds a lot like 'a-hole'?--that's why, every
time you see those letters you should think, 'Pink sphincters!'."
In udder nooz, $aint @ndrew of the net writes:
> 2) implications of Spam Jake day: it could very well mean the end of the
>world, most likely it will be ignored. Optimumly, we shall cause Hornell
to >crumble in fear of an onslaught of cracked individuals who worship
their >product. At the very worst, we will all die as the Elder Gods may be
angered >by our interference with the One True Foodstuff's proliferation
upon this >rock of a planet. But then again, it just may rain and that's
it.
BULLSHIT! The Elder Gods know FUCKING WELL what a bunch of PINKS are
Hormel. Total bastards to work for. Bastards. As for the "processed"
"food" "product" called SPAM, you people who had daddies and granpas and
uncles in The Big One, fellas who ate K-rations in Okinawa and Sicily and
Aachen and Sfax know what the GI Beetle Bailey's and Sad Sack's called Spam
-- HORSE COCK! I mean, LOOK at the stuff -- have you -ever- seen The Spam
Cut in your butcher's cooler-case? And what the HELL is in that jelly-slime
that seems to stick to the "meat" "like" "substance" you all profess to LOVE
and N-JOY? And tho' I will admit that some of the nicest DESSERTS I've ever
had involved the nether regions of a particular teacher of the French
language at a local high-school, I'll be SLACKLESS before I go eating
STUD-DONG for my LUNCH!
Finally, I'm glad that STANG materialized in this net.plane and gave us the
word on The Reverend Buck. However, with due deference to HIS
SLACKFULNESS, I must correct him when he writes:
> The bad news is, there's still another false "Buck Naked" alive.
This isn't bad news -- it means we still have a DECOY for the Rev! If we
ever REALLY deicde to give ol' Pastor Buck the FINAL RIDE down the RAZOR
BLADE OF LIFE (we could probably sell his CARCASS to Hormel!), we'll have
had PLENTY of practice KNOCKING-OFF his cheap, low-life IMITATORS! Sorta
like taking a lot of BATTING PRACTICE before the BIG GAME!
And Rev Naked should 'PRECIATE that OTHERS are TAKING THE BULLETS in his
place! I mean, surely "Bob" could have used a DECOY on that fateful day
when Puz'Ev decided to exercise his RIGHT as an AMERICAN to Keep And Bear
Arms And Blow "Bob's" Brains Out.
Unless that -was- a decoy ...
("x") The Venerable Maha Swami-ji B. Jeebees (His mark)
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Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you. Their
tastes might not be the same.
-- George Bernard Shaw
AND IT SURE AS SHIT WOULDN'T RUN TOWARDS SPAM!
-- ("x") Swami-ji B. Jeebees
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End of Subgenius Digest
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