Today's Topics:
...painless?
Schizophrenia or parody?
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Message-Id: <9407301830.AA11000@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: Mark Dryfoos <dryfoos_m@a1.hanv02.sandoz.com>,
Chuck Shepherd <cshepherd@igc.org>
Subject: ...painless?
Date: Sat, 30 Jul 1994 14:30:55 EDT
From: "Gary L. Dryfoos" <dryfoo@mit.edu>
} From: yol@exhibition.MIT.EDU (Owen Li/Technology Group)
}
} Suicide, Accident, or Homicide?
}
} For those of you who were unable to attend the Awards Dinner during the
} Annual Meeting in San Diego, you missed a tall tale on complex forensics
} presented by AAFS President Don Harper Mills in his opening remarks.
} The following is a recount of Dr. Mills' story...
}
} "On March 23 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and
} concluded that he died from a gunshot wound of the head caused by a
} shotgun. Investigation to that point had revealed that the decedent had
} jumped from the top of a ten story building with the intent to commit
} suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he passed the
} 9th floor on the way down, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast
} through a window, killing him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the
} decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the 8th floor
} level to protect some window washers and that the decedent would not
} have been able to complete his intent to commit suicide because of this.
}
} Ordinarily, a person who starts into motion the events with a suicide
} intent ultimately commits suicide even though the mechanism might be not
} what he intended. That he was shot on the way to certain death nine
} stories below probably would not change his mode of death from suicide
} to homicide. But the fact that his suicide intent would not have been
} achieved under any circumstance caused the medical examiner to feel that
} he had homicide on his hands.
}
} Further investigation led to the discovery that the room on the 9th
} floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly
} man and his wife. He was threatening her with the shotgun because of an
} interspousal spat and became so upset that he could not hold the shotgun
} straight. Therefore, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed
} his wife and the pellets went through the window striking the decedent.
}
} When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt,
} one is guilty of the murder of subject B. The old man was confronted
} with this conclusion, but both he and his wife were adamant in stating
} that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. It was the longtime
} habit of the old man to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He
} had no intent to murder her; therefore, the killing of the decedent
} appeared then to be accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally
} loaded.
}
} But *further* investigation turned up a witness that their son was seen
} loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal accident.
} That investigation showed that the mother (the old lady) had cut off her
} son's financial support and her son, knowing the propensity of his
} father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the
} expectation that the father would shoot his mother. The case now
} becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald
} Opus.
}
} Further investigation revealed that the son became increasingly
} despondent over the failure of his attempt to get his mother murdered.
} This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23, only to be
} killed by a shotgun blast through a 9th story window.
}
} The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide."
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Date: Sat, 30 Jul 1994 12:51:10 -0700
From: "D. V. Henkel-Wallace" <gumby@cygnus.com>
Message-Id: <199407301951.MAA08577@cygnus.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
CC: junk@cygnus.com
Subject: Schizophrenia or parody?
Yesterday I drove into work behind a car bearing (only) these two
bumper stickers right next to each other:
+----------------+--------------------+
| JESUS IS LORD! | QUESTION AUTHORITY |
+----------------+--------------------+
Bumps out my previous favorite:
"I believe you Tonya."
-g
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End of Subgenius Digest
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