Today's Topics:
(2 msgs)
a pretty good hack
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Date: Thu, 1 Sep 1994 08:36:12 -0400
From: B C Krishna <bc@pilani.zko.dec.com>
Message-Id: <9409011236.AA05115@pilani.zko.dec.com>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Cc: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Reply-To: bc@bostac.zko.dec.com
In-Reply-To: <Automatic_^_Subgenius Digestifier@mc.lcs.mit.edu:Subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu>"))
Subject:
> In response to many inquiries, let me assure you that our planned cryogenic
> program is proceeding well. Unfortunately, however, due to a shortage of
> storage space available to us, it appears that, at least for the short term,
> we will be able to store only the HEADS of deceased Conservatives with an eye
> toward future transplantation. We will, of course, keep you informed as to
> the progress of this project.
The Day After Tomorrow, today? Who inspired whom?
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From: Woody Cooper <sharkboy@char.vnet.net>
Message-Id: <199409011324.AA02172@char.vnet.net>
Subject:
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Thu, 1 Sep 1994 09:24:26 -0400 (EDT)
>
>
> Subgenius Digest Thu, 1 Sep 94 Volume 5 : Issue 156
>
> Today's Topics:
>
> National Conservative Sperm Depository
> <<<<<=====-----=====>>>>>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 07:08:28 -0400 (EDT)
> From: Victor Story <story@kutztown.edu>
> Subject:
> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
> Cc: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
> Message-Id: <Pine.3.89.9408310658.A11428-0100000@atlantic>
>
> Does the National Conservative Sperm Depository have a wing for pecker
> preservation, balls embalming, or perhaps a sphincter archive? Maybe
> they would like a bit of "Bob"'s conservative bodily fluids.
>
> ------------------------------
>
> Date: Wed, 31 Aug 1994 03:00:26 -0400
> From: Mitch Silverman (NC) <silverma@virtu.sar.usf.edu>
> Message-Id: <199408310700.DAA23176@virtu.sar.usf.edu>
> To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
> Subject: National Conservative Sperm Depository
>
> Um. Aside from the number being (202) 736-1792,
> either the National Conservative Sperm Depository is an exceedingly
> elaborate practical joke a la Penn and Teller or Spy magazine...
> or it's for real.
>
> I *had* to call and check, don't you see?
>
> Once again, reality *is* stranger than the Church. Well, close.
>
> YHOS,
> Rev. Dkr. Mitch, KSC usw.
>
> Mitchell L. Silverman | A government that is big enough to give you all
> Graduate, Class of '94 | you want is big enough to take it all away.
> New College of USF | - Barry Goldwater
> Sarasota, Florida | Extremism in the defense of extremism is no vice.
> silverma@virtu.sar.usf.edu | - J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, Rant Tape 16 (1980)
>
> ------------------------------
Does this have anything to do with the "INJECTORS" ??? You know,
the ones which channel information from WOTAN to humanity and
generally make their trance pronouncements through children,
psychics, and drunkards. And 'Bob'. ???
thanks.
$I .sig
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From: dryfoo@mit.edu
Message-Id: <9409012103.AA15192@thelonious.MIT.EDU>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: a pretty good hack
Date: Thu, 01 Sep 1994 17:03:19 EDT
Every year, MIT's frosh participate in an enormous housing lottery to
determine where they'll be living. This year, they used the campus
computer network to enter their preferences and receive the results.
Some smart folks got hold of a sample of the official-style results
letters, and sent just a few of their own:
[lots of forwards removed]
} From: house-lottery@PAN.MIT.EDU
} Date: Tue, 30 Aug 94 07:59:51 1994
} Message-Id: <6197832473.AA37619@PAN.MIT.EDU>
} Subject: Your Fall Term Housing Assignment
} To: some poor frosh
}
} Dear Freshperson:
}
} We are pleased to inform you of your new MIT Institute Housing
} Assignment for the coming Fall term of 1994. You have been assigned
} to room:
}
} 57-014
}
} In many dormitories, this room assignment is merely a temporary
} arrangement until the dorm housing authorities can coordinate a more
} permanent assignment within said dormitory.
}
} You should carefully consult a map of the campus found within your
} "Hitchhiker's Guide" to locate the aforementioned room. Some of you
} at this point may notice that you have been given a less traditional
} housing assignment. Please read the rest of this message carefully
} for an explanation of your housing situation.
}
} Each year, far more freshpersons are admitted to the Institute
} than we have facilities to house. In the past, we have been
} occasionally compelled by circumstances to "crowd" some number of
} students into large dormitory rooms designed for 2 or 3 fewer people.
} To compensate, a generous 25% reduction in rent was offered to these
} students in accordance with Commonwealth of Massachusetts health and
} fire safety codes. Alternatively, we have resorted to placing some
} number of students together in a large barracks-like area in one of
} the campus athletic facilities or in the spacious basement of one of
} the graduate dormitories.
}
} Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, a handful of those few
} hundred students who have been assigned to these living arrangements
} found them to be somewhat undesirable.
}
} You will be happy to know that this year we have given more
} careful thought to the needs and desires of the students most affected
} by these arrangements. We have hired several specialists in
} undergraduate housing psychology and, at great expense to the
} Institute, we have devised some very exciting new options for several
} students. You are one of the lucky few randomly chosen to have their
} requests withdrawn from the normal housing lottery to allow you to
} participate in this innovative new housing experiment. We are
} confident you will find this to be a delightful educational experience
} and a pleasurable way to start your student career here at MIT.
}
} Specifically, we have arranged for you to share a four person room
} with five other persons in a specially renovated space adjoining the
} Alumni Pool. You will have an exquisite view of the pool through a
} newly installed plexiglass wall in the diving well. This aquatic
} living arrangement will easily accommodate all your personal hygienic
} needs. As a special benefit, you will have first priority access to
} the swimming pool. We expect that this will provide you with ample
} opportunity to effortlessly pass the swimming test which is mandatory
} for all MIT students.
}
} Please be sure to go to your new housing assignment as soon as
} possible to check in with the housing personnel awaiting your arrival.
} Assignments within rooms will be done on a first-come, first-serve
} basis. We will do everything we can to make this an enjoyable first
} term for you and your roommates. Arrangements are already being made
} in the event that you may choose to extend this experiment into the
} second term.
}
} If you have any questions or concerns regarding this arrangement
} please do not hesitate to directly contact our offices. You can
} arrange to meet with the housing consultants who helped devise this
} housing program so that you may thank them in person. They are:
}
} Dr. James Tetazoo, Ph.D. Dr. Jaqueline Rann, D.o.M.
} 3-120 2-214
} Phone: 9-936-4225 Phone: 9-637-3761 ext.#9
}
} Enjoy your new housing assignment and have an exciting first term
} here at Tech!
}
} Sincerely,
} Jack Florey, B.S.
} Dean of Freshperson Housing Assignments
}
}
} P.S. The following digital signature tracking sequence is
} automatically appended to the end of all official Institute
} e-mails so that you need not worry about being deceived by
} fraudulent messages from un-authorized sources. If you receive
} any apparently official Institute e-mails which lack this exact
} verification signature, you can be sure they are in fact not
} authentically originated.
}
}
} -----BEGIN KERBEROS E-MAILS AUTO-AUTHENTICATION SIGNATURE-----
} Version: 5.0
}
} MITXXXACHgcv69CgCAcVGCCCCAK6c96c6ca6cCh63487854317844874SAE236x
} 87362DKE123823989ADPruLZ123898813FlOrEyIzGoB23B1FFizzzK00Ld00D8
} 2aIHTFP2v45v4vq45v5554gx42424242ElV1sHEliVZBYgoB123asdkjh?1238z
} adhzoink12656SNARK9912386MunKiSPunK66712388123987123dk12985jdkw
}
} -----END KERBEROS E-MAILS AUTO-AUTHENTICATION SIGNATURE-----
Other room assignments included the campus chapel, the boathouse, a
closet in a lecture hall, the president's living room, etc.
All in all, a good day for Operation Fuckup.
-- dr foo
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End of Subgenius Digest
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