Today's Topics:
basketball jones
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Message-Id: <199412202338.SAA23106@postman.osf.org>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: basketball jones
Date: Tue, 20 Dec 1994 18:38:45 -0500
From: Ed Frankenberry <ezf@osf.org>
Here's an excerpt from the Writer's Block column in a local weekly
(in the wake of the Elders resignation):
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``Let's face it, masturbation is so perfect for kids. For one, it's free.
You don't need a lab partner. And it's safe. I mean, unless you're
driving a car or operating heavy machinery, chances are you won't
kill yourself or anyone else.
Masturbation is also a building block. It's the starter kit for
sexuality. It's a lot like basketball.
Indulge me.
With basketball, you don't start out playing on a team. You start
out playing with yourself in the driveway. Learning, practicing,
getting good at it. Then, when you're comfortable and ready,
you get to play with others.
But even after you're good enough to play with others, sometimes
you just want to play with yourself. Back in the driveway.
Maybe because there's nobody around to play with. Maybe because
you just want to be alone. See, you never have to leave it.
You can always go back to it, because it will always be there.
Get the point? It will always be there.''
[Steve Calechman is "special projects" editor for The TAB]
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End of Subgenius Digest
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