Today's Topics:
Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies
Picnic with aliens near nonexistent Air Force Base
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Message-Id: <ab3a0c31090210041ec0@[198.3.36.55]>
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 1995 17:52:46 -0500
To: eristocracy@mv.mv.com
From: Jon Callas <jon@worldbenders.com>
Subject: Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies
Cc: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
(forwards renamed)
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Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies
REDMOND, Washington--January 4, 1995--In response to customer inquiries,
Microsoft today clarified the naming policy for Bob(tm), its new software
product designed for computer beginners. Contrary to rumors, Microsoft will
not demand that all persons formerly named "Bob" immediately select new first
names.
"I don't know where these rumors come from," commented Steve Balmer,
Microsoft Executive Vice President for Worldwide Sales and Support. "It's
ridiculous to think Microsoft would force people outside the computer industry
to change their names. We won't, and our licensing policies for people within
the industry will be so reasonable that the Justice Department could never
question them."
Balmer said employees of other computer companies will be given the
opportunity to select new names, and will also be offered a licensing option
allowing them to continue using their former names at very low cost.
The new licensing program, called Microsoft TrueName(tm), offers persons
who want to continue being known by the name Bob the option of doing so, with
the payment of a small monthly licensing fee and upon signing a release form
promising never to use OpenDoc. As an added bonus, Bob name licensees will
also be authorized to display the Windows 95 logo on their bodies.
Persons choosing not to license the Bob name will be given a 60-day grace
period during which they can select another related name. "We're being very
lenient in our enforcement of the Bob trademark," said Bill Newkom, Microsoft's
Senior Vice President of Law and Corporate Affairs. "People are still free to
call themselves Robert, Robby, or even Rob. Bobby however is derivative of
Microsoft's trademark and obviously can't be allowed."
Microsoft also announced today that Bob(tm) Harbold, its Executive Vice
President and Chief Operating Officer, has become the first Microsoft TrueName
licensee and will have the Windows 95 logo tattooed to his forehead.
-30-
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Message-Id: <9501120020.AA06641@shrdlu.media.mit.edu.media.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Picnic with aliens near nonexistent Air Force Base
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 95 19:20:52 -0500
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
[forwards removed]
Everyone in the world is invited to...
THE SECOND ANNUAL COULD-BE-CLOSED-ANY-DAY-NOW FREEDOM RIDGE
PICNIC.
Taking place SATURDAY, JANUARY 21, 1995, starting at 11:00 am (or
whenever you arrive).
Come, bring your lawn chairs, binoculars and picnic lunch. Watch
the secret base just sit there. Freedom Ridge is a hill, still on
public land, overlooking the "nonexistent" GROOM LAKE AIR BASE
featured in recent national newscasts and the LARRY KING UFO
SPECIAL. Although you can visit the Ridge at any time (until the
land is closed), here is a chance to do it as a communal
experience.
This event is not to be confused with the "Freedom Ridge End-of-
the-World Party," which will be held only when we have a formal
closing date. The Air Force is seeking legal control of this land
to keep visitors off. Last year at this time, we gathered for our
first "Could-Be-Closed-Any-Day-Now Freedom Ridge Picnic,"
expecting it to be our last chance to see the base. The land is
still open, however, thanks to the many federal procedures the Air
Force itself must follow to obtain it. At this event, we will
relive old times and celebrate the wonders of bureaucracy.
DISCLAIMER
This is a loosely organized get-together of interested citizens.
There is no schedule of events and people can do whatever they
want as long as they obey the law. The organizers of this picnic
accept no liability whatsoever for any loss or injury. You are
responsible for your own safety and for understanding the rules
and risks of the place you are visiting. Below we have tried our
best to give you the information you'll need to enjoy this event
safely.
GENERAL PLAN
We will meet at 11 am (Pacific Time) at the Freedom Ridge
trailhead. (See directions below.) After a briefing, we will
proceed to the top by foot or four wheel drive. Stragglers can
hike up on their own on a well marked trail when they arrive. At
the top, we'll sit around in our lawn chairs, roast wieners over
the fire and debate the Meaning ot Life.
UFOs and Secret Aircraft are not guaranteed and probably won't
appear.
LOCATION
Freedom Ridge is a hill on public land next to the border of the
Nellis Air Force Range about 12 miles west of the Groom Lake air
base. The base can be plainly seen in the distance, but you will
need binoculars or a telescope for the best view.
The location is about 140 road miles north of Las Vegas. The
nearest towns are Rachel and Alamo. The terrain is scrub desert
at an elevation of 5000 feet. Due to the altitude, patchy snow
cover is possible in January, with daytime highs in the 40s or
50s. Weather is usually good, but there is a chance that rain,
snow or wind will mar the event. (It will proceed regardless.)
Heavy winter clothing, including hat, gloves and thermal underwear
should be brought in case they are needed.
The summit of Freedom Ridge can be reached by a moderately
challenging 50-minute hike from a well-maintained dirt road. The
trail is marked by yellow ribbons tied around Joshua trees. Any
vehicle can easily make it to the trailhead. The summit can also
be reached by a very rugged four wheel drive road taking a
different route, which will also be marked.
HOW TO GET THERE
The Freedom Ridge trailhead is about 2-1/2 hours north of Las
Vegas (or 2-1/2 hours east of Tonopah). From Las Vegas, go north
on I-15 about 20 miles to US-93 at Exit 64. Go north on US-93
about 85 miles to SR-375. Take SR-375 (not SR-318) west 15 miles
until you reach the big dirt road to Groom Lake at milepost 34.6.
(It is marked by a stop sign and maybe also a "THIS WAY TO SECRET
BASE" sign.) This is a good dirt road that any car can handle.
Take the dirt road west 13.6 miles until you see our cars parked
beside a "Keep Right" sign. DO NOT DRIVE PAST THE WELL-MARKED
MILITARY BORDER JUST BEYOND. Try to park off the road or as far
to the right as you can.
[For those who want to visit Freedom Ridge on another day, the
parking location is beside a "Keep Right" sign about 0.1 mile
before the border. Cross the road to find the yellow ribbons tied
around Joshua trees, and follow them. Do not cross the border
marked by orange posts or any new "Restricted Area" sign. To
avoid wandering across the border, do not hike at night. Security
guards will watch you but will avoid contact unless you cross the
border. Report any incidents to the event coordinator below.]
The best place to shop for supplies is Las Vegas. (Try Sahara
Ave. west of I-15.) Gas up there, too. There are no gas or
groceries between Las Vegas and Alamo. Last gas before Freedom
Ridge is at Ash Springs (or Rachel).
OPTIONS
People can feel free to come and go on any schedule they choose,
and the event will disperse whenever people decide to leave. For
those who cannot arrive by 11 am, our cars will be easy to find
and the trail is clearly marked. Look for instructions posted on
one of the cars.
This is intended as a day trip, since it is too cold for casual
camping (low of 10-30 degrees F). Those who feel comfortable with
"polar bear" camping can try spending the night. (We recommend
using two or three sleeping bags inside each other, plus a ground
cover.) Camping and campfires are allowed almost anywhere on the
public land outside the military border, including Freedom Ridge.
Motels are available in Rachel or Alamo (Rooms are limited so
reservations are essential.), but you can just as easily return to
Las Vegas.
RISKS
- - - -- The greatest danger in this area is wandering across the well-
guarded military border, which is immediately adjacent to Freedom
Ridge and the hiking trail. The border is marked by orange posts
every 50 yards and stainless steel balls on posts every quarter
mile. There is no fence. Wherever a road crosses the border, it
is marked by clear Restricted Area signs but no gate or guard
house.
People who are caught on the other side of the border are
immediately detained. A fine of $600 is usual, and you will have
to reappear in court if you want the fine reduced.
- - - -- Gas is available at only a few widely separated locations: Las
Vegas, Alamo, Ash Springs and Rachel. Be sure to approach the
area with a full tank of gas. The Ash Springs gas station is open
24 hours. Rachel's is open only 7am-7pm.
- - - -- Cars can easily get stuck in the sand or on rocks on
unmaintained dirt roads. Stay on the maintained dirt road unless
you have a four wheel drive.
- - - -- The 50-minute, 1-mile hike can be moderately challenging, but
shouldn't be much trouble for most people. The vertical distance
traveled is only about 500 feet, but the altitude makes it more
tiring than at sea level. People who are seriously out of shape
should think twice about hiking.
- - - -- When driving in this area, cattle in the road are a serious
danger. Cattle are unfenced and wander freely across the highway.
Drive slowly at night. If you hit a cow, you are required by law
to report it to the Sheriff or rancher.
BRING
- - - -- Binoculars or a telescope are important for viewing the base.
There is no legal limit to size and magnification.
- - - -- Wieners and buns will be provided for roasting over the fire,
but you should bring your own drinks and a backup lunch in case
the wieners run out. If you come at 11 am, there will be four
wheel drives available to transport your lunch to the top;
otherwise, you should be prepared to carry it yourself.
- - - -- Bring folding lawn chairs if you have them.
SANITATION
"Powder room" opportunities will be limited. A primitive latrine
will be erected at the summit of Freedom Ridge, but it won't be
pretty. The gentlemen shouldn't have much difficulty finding
discrete locations, but the ladies must plan ahead and take
advantage of their opportunities. Away from the ridge, all of
Nevada is at your disposal.
EXPECTATIONS
Some people may be disappointed by the view from Freedom Ridge.
What you see in the distance appears to be an ordinary Air Force
base--albeit a very large one--beside a dry lake bed. No flying
saucers or underground cities are evident. On weekends, the base
is usually very quiet, with little aircraft or vehicle traffic.
The main satisfaction is derived from the fact that this base
"isn't there" officially. The best viewing time is in the
morning, when the sun is behind you.
SECURITY
The border area is actively patrolled by an anonymous force of
security guards wearing camouflage fatigues and driving white Jeep
Cherokees. These "Cammo Dudes" watch Freedom Ridge with high
power binoculars and video cameras that are capable of reading car
license plates from a mile away. These guards are under orders to
avoid contact with visitors (unless you cross the border). If
they feel you have violated a law on public land, they will call
the Lincoln County Sheriff to investigate. In this open terrain,
the Sheriff can be seen coming from miles away.
The radio frequencies for the Sheriff are 154.86 and 155.77 MHz.
The radio frequencies for the security patrols are usually
scrambled; they include 418.05, 408.4, 142.2, 170.5 and 138.3.
Groom Lake aircraft frequencies are: 120.35, 127.65, 118.45 and
261.1.
Be aware that the security patrols may record your license plate
numbers and run them for identification.
FREE-SPEECH PROTEST (OPTIONAL)
According to a 1948 federal law (18 USC 795), it is illegal to
take or publish photographs of any military installation
designated by the President as requiring such protection--but
since the base does not officially exist it is hard to say what
should or should not be photographed. No one has ever been
prosecuted for taking pictures of the base, but the 1948 law has
been used by the local Sheriff's Dept. to confiscate film from
visitors. Regardless of what the film contains, it "vanishes"
into Air Force hands and is never returned.
To protest the arbitrary seizing of film from visitors and the
withholding of it without due process, we will be conducting a
"Freedom Ridge Camera and Video Show" to coincide with the picnic.
Participants are invited to bring cameras and display them proudly
on the ridge. The "cameras" do not have to be functional or real,
and to avoid the charge of inciting a federal crime, we cannot
recommend that you bring film or video tape.
Your "camera" should be displayed only in the company of the
group, since our strength lies in numbers. If, by chance, you are
stopped by the Sheriff and are asked any question about
photography, you should politely decline to provide any
information and should not turn over any of your property without
a warrant. You also should not reveal to your fellow visitors
whether or not you have film in your camera, since there could be
spies among us. (They're invited, too!)
This is the second such "Freedom Ridge Camera and Video Show."
For the first, last August, the authorities kept their distance
(except for a pleasant BLM ranger in a Smoky Bear hat), and there
was no confrontation. This time, we'll have to try harder.
COURTESIES
- - - -- Stay away from the rancher's compound.
- - - -- Do not litter.
- - - -- Do not bring drugs or any other illegal substances.
- - - -- Firearms are discouraged.
- - - -- Obey the speed limit and other commonsense laws, especially
within Lincoln County.
- - - -- Respect the land.
- - - -- Do not steal the Restricted Area signs.
- - - -- Do not taunt or moon the Cammo Dudes.
ACCOMMODATIONS
If you plan to spend a night in Las Vegas en route, be aware that
rooms in the city itself can be expensive and hard to find on
weekends. We recommend staying outside the city in one of the big
casino hotels at Stateline or Jean. Try Prima Donna (Exit 1 on I-
15) at 800-367-7383 or Nevada Landing (Exit 12 on I-15) at 800-
628-6682. Both are about $32 on Friday & Saturday nights and $18
on other nights.
Locally, the Little A-Le-Inn in Rachel has a limited number of
rooms. Call 702-729-2515. In Alamo, the Meadow Lane Motel and
Alamo Motel can both be reached at 702-725-3371. Rates here are
$25-$35.
VIEWER'S GUIDE
Detailed information on the area can be found in the "Area 51
Viewer's Guide." This 110-page visitor's guide includes maps,
milepost logs, reference list, equipment advice and other
information useful to travelers and researchers. It is available
for $15 plus $3.50 priority mail postage from: Area 51 Research
Center, HCR Box 38, Rachel, NV 89001. If time is short, it can
also be ordered by telephone from the Event Coordinator.
FINAL
If this document doesn't answer your questions, feel free to email
psychospy@aol.com or contact the Event Coordinator, Glenn
Campbell, at 702-729-2648. (Only collect calls can be returned.)
Feel free to copy this document and post it or send it to whomever
you wish.
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End of Subgenius Digest
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