Today's Topics:
Support the Gingrich-Elders Plan
thank you so fucking much!
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Message-Id: <9502032129.AA04960@conniver.media.mit.edu>
To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: Support the Gingrich-Elders Plan
Date: Fri, 03 Feb 95 16:29:47 -0500
From: Michael Travers <mt@media.mit.edu>
From: rms@toad.com (Richard Stallman)
Subject: Support the Gingrich-Elders Plan
Message-ID: <62451@toad.com>
Date: 2 Feb 95 20:37:47 GMT
Organization: Nebula Consultants in San Francisco
[Please repost widely]
Today I phoned Speaker Gingrich's office to express my support for the
Gingrich-Elders plan. This is the proposal for public schools to set
aside a few minutes each day for silent masturbation.
Most teenagers figure out on their own how to masturbate, but many are
anxious about doing it. Daily masturbation will keep students so
satisfied and exhausted that they won't even think about having sex
with each other.
This proposal is, for Gingrich, a daring experiment in compassion:
government addressing a problem by helping people rather than
punishing them. He really needs encouragement for it. I hope you too
will call to give him your support. You can phone Gingrich's office
at 202-225-4501. When you say you are calling to express your
opinion, they'll connect you to a recording machine; then all you have
to say is, "I'm from ... and I support the Gingrich-Elders plan." At
some times their lines are busy; if that happens, try again at a
different hour.
The press hasn't taken notice of the Gingrich-Elders plan, perhaps
because it is so different from the rest of the Republican program.
With enough of our calls of support, the media will start to pay
attention. Don't keep silent--stand up and be counted!
When you call, please send a message to gingrich-elders@toad.com, so I
can find out how many calls there have been.
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Message-Id: <9502040415.AA12715@media.mit.edu>
From: "The Rt.Rev.Wor.Dr.Y.Foo"@media.mit.edu, FRC <dryfoo@mit.edu>
To: ameoba <ameoba@eskimo.com>
Cc: mt@amt, subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: thank you so fucking much!
Date: Fri, 03 Feb 95 23:15:31 -0500
dear amoeba,
thank you for sending 6 fucking messages asking to be added to the
subgenius digest. we're not automated, we do this in our spare time.
didn't you ever hear of slack???
you have just personally been the straw that broke this camel's back.
as soon as i finish wading through 67 fucking "sign me up" "take me
off" "help" "didn't you get my other 17 messages?" mail messages and
doing a last update to the digest list, i hereby fucking resign as
assistant immoderator of this fucking list.
if Rev. Ped is too busy working on getting his actual fucking degree
to help your little pink-assed bobby friends out, then the current
list is just it, i guess.
my slack will not be sucked by this fucking list any longer!
THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!
thank you again for helping me see the error of my way.
-- dr foo
p.s. your subscription should begin shortly
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End of Subgenius Digest
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