Today's Topics:
(4 msgs)
Enforcement of Porcine Dialectic
scribe-boy pt.2
Smells
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Message-Id: <199503240725.CAA16464@en.com>
Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 02:30:39 -0400
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
From: Daniel Rode <djrjr@en.com>
Subject:
Please remove me from the mailing list
Thanks, Dan Rode (djrjr@en.com)
"What do you get for pretending the danger's not real ?
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
down well trodden coridors into the valley of steel "
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Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 11:20:18 -0500 (EST)
From: SMM0443@ocvaxa.cc.oberlin.edu
Subject:
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Message-id: <01HOIGEAGU7M003K83@OCVAXA.CC.OBERLIN.EDU>
I do not know how I got on your mailing list but please take me off.
Thank you
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Date: Fri, 24 Mar 95 12:59:34 EST
From: Stan Dagger <jimthing@eden.rutgers.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
In-Reply-To: Your message of Fri, 24 Mar 95 00:00:55 EST
Message-ID: <CMM-RU.1.4.796067974.jimthing@er5.rutgers.edu>
Hey, never mind about training puppies to sniff things out, how about finding
some way to train yuppies to do something useful.?eh?
Stan Dagger...I ask you!
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Date: Sat, 25 Mar 1995 01:28:23 GMT
From: phillip shaw <phillip@pshaw.demon.co.uk>
Reply-To: phillip@pshaw.demon.co.uk
Message-Id: <52@pshaw.demon.co.uk>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
(In reply to your message dated Friday 24, March 1995)
>expenditurage....i tell you this for free squire: you never 'ad the blitz
>like what we did either, them jerrys was all out for us, 'cos of our
>tastier lager and chirpy cockney birds. not like your lancashire lard
>munching types or your disagreeable ales. no son, you got it all
Ill have thee know lad I do not use lard for owt', I was brought up the proper
way and fry all of me ferrets in me Thwaites bitter. Your mixing us up wit
t'other side of the pennines and their peculiar heathen yorkshire ways.
I thinks that if thee mates had some decent bitter down em as opposed to that
there lager, a tunnel collapse even in a mango mine would have not been the
slightest of challenges. May I point you to the great Dartford Tunnel disaster
of 1852 where upon coming across a vein of Pineapple, a collapse occurred
trapping 4,352 tunnellers. Of whome only 49 survived, 48 of whom were from Bury
!. (Number 49 was from Guildford, but was dragged out by Mr D Smegget's whippet,
critisise our interest in livestock now young man !).
And as far as the lack of strategic bombardment of the north of the kingdom by
those of a germanic disposition is concerned, there would have been little point
due to the fact that we were all down't bloody pit.
With the most heart felt ayup, see thi and finally "bye..."
--"Digging for bananas is easy, Welding them is what counts" Sir Barnes Wallace
Phil Shaw
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Date: Fri, 24 Mar 95 20:57:33 EST From: Stan Dagger <jimthing@eden.rutgers.edu> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: Enforcement of Porcine Dialectic Message-ID: <CMM-RU.1.4.796096653.jimthing@er7.rutgers.edu>
INTRUSIVE WARNING DISPLAY! PLEASE TURN OFF ALL FISH TANKS! FISH ARE EVIL! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Yes folks. This is a stern and mundane warning to all aquarian owners. You must turn off your tanks! Let those demons die! Let their corpses float! Do it now! Don't wait to read the rest of this message...do it NOW!!! ___++_____+_+_+_____++++___+_+_+____+_+_+_+___++_+_+____+_+_+_+_+++_+_+____+_+ Last night a vision came to me as I lay dreaming of the soft curves of Diana Rigg. The vision was glad entirely in polyester and held in his shining paw a pipe filled with the purest frop. At first I thought I was envisioning a pre-emptive vision strike from "Bob's" mind TV, a satellite transmitter positioned in a nearby country pub. I was convinced that the X-ists arrival date had somehow been, unexplainably, brought forward 3 years. When I realised that this was not "Bob" but A.J.P."Ralph"McWhitney, my trembling heart was stilled. It was only a simple ghost! This I could handle. "Ralph" proceeded to tell me in detailed and complex yet endearingly broken Vietnamese how the lost and evil race of FishThings intended to break through a counter-proactive-interdimensional-hairweave apparatus that had been smuggled into our "pink" dimension by millions of strange underwater creatures masquerading as simple household pets. He urged me to use the new and potentially prophetable medium of the Internet to reach other SubGenii across the globe. He told me that all fish in domestic tanks must be dead by the end of March or we would be looking at the rest of our lives from the bottom of a pond. Body transference is the preferred weapon of these demons so unless you want to spend the rest of your short, badly-informed and ill-remembered lives eating dried crap and floating bellyup for three weeks before a funeral you'd best pull the plug now! Don't forget, you heard it hear first!!! Rev.Stan Dagger, Emirate of FreeMind Headache, First Church of "Ralph" Acklam Acklam Acklam! <Monndo Spondulik>
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From: MARK DANIELS <AVYIMAR@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk> Organization: CCC, The University of Nottingham To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Date: Fri, 24 Mar 1995 10:41:52 GMT0BST Subject: scribe-boy pt.2 Message-ID: <1AAB0B9291C@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk>
the next 108-tastic installment of 'Scribe-boy'! Gazing upon the mound, he wondered what had made him build it. The only mention of it in his book was a small footnote saying he had done so. No further information was available, which meant something. That he was sure of. Maybe because he knew he wouldn't remember making it and there was good reason for not informing himself, or because it was just cosmetic and thus not that important. After pondering this a while, he noted his musings down next to the note about the mound, just so he wouldn't waste time on it next time and chose a path at random.
Looking at he map he had sketched in the book he discovered this to be a path he had not traversed before. He doodled the new road onto the map. Maybe he could try to find out which of the `unknowing ones' were skilled in that direction. That would certainly help in the future. He may have to construct a reason for the fool, but it would be possible. That made him stop dead in his tracks. If it were possible, and I had been down here before, why would I have not thought about it?. At this point he decided to check. "Page 7" he said. "Great, I am great. I thought about it, but failed to find anyone. No matter". With this he continued up the path.
Coming to a clearing with a small open space and a massive drop down he stopped. At the bottom he could see a figure, a figure so impressive he fell to his knees in awe. Turning slowly, as if on a vertical spit, the figure readjusted its loose fitting smoking jacket and smiled. One of those small, I know, kind of smiles. The kind used to deter small dogs from attacking small plants. The scribe stared at the figure with quiet, yet sensible, wonder. After a while, our hero, the scribe, inched forward, trying to get nearer the mischievous stranger. A gain of distance was not forthcoming, so he called upon the miraculous powers of the 108. The figure smiled again, just a small smile, just as before. At this point the sky erupted in a burst of white light.
to be continued.......
By Rev. Badu. : First EvilSun RolfClench of the SubGenius.
Mark Daniels Home pages: http://unicorn.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk/~avyimar/downmyclub.html
More slack than something that isn't taut.
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Date: Fri, 24 Mar 95 18:42:30 -0500 From: Bradley Berg <berg@sousa.amt.tay1.dec.com> Message-Id: <9503242342.AA14930@sousa.tay1.dec.com> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: Smells
A friend of mine makes gasoline and writes:
If you want to go for extreme responses, try try disulfide oil. One drop in the carpet of someones car and they will be unable to drive, or sell, that car. We make 40-50 gallons a day at the refinery.
Knowledge is power
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End of Subgenius Digest ******************************
