No one else was hurt in the fatal explosion but four players and three
officials at the Moscow Candidate Masters' Chess Championships were
sprayed with blood and brain matter when Nikolai Titov's head suddenly
blew apart. Experts say he suffered from a condition called
Hyper-Cerebral Electrosis or HCE.
"He was deep in concentration with his eyes focused on the board," says
Titov's opponent, Vladimir Dobrynin. "All of a sudden his hands flew to
his temples and he screamed in pain. Everyone looked up from their
games, startled by the noise. Then, as if someone had put a bomb in his
cranium, his head popped like a firecracker."
Incredibly, Titiov's is not the first case in which a person's head has
spontaneously exploded. Five people are known to have died of HCE in
the last 25 years. The most recent death occurred just three years ago
in 1991, when European psychic Barbara Nicole's skull burst. Miss
Nicole's story was reported by newspapers worldwide, including WWN.
"HCE is an extremely rare physical imbalance," said Dr. Anatoly
Martinenko, famed neurologist and expert on the human brain who did the
autopsy on the brilliant chess expert. "It is a condition in which the
circuits of the brain become overloaded by the body's own electricity.
The explosions happen during periods of intense mental activity when
lots of current is surging through the brain. Victims are highly
intelligent people with great powers of concentration. Both Miss Nicole
and Mr. Titov were intense people who tended to keep those cerebral
circuits overloaded. In a way it could be said they were literally too
smart for their own good."
Although Dr. Martinenko says there are probably many undiagnosed cases,
he hastens to add that very few people will die from HCE. "Most people
who have it will never know. At this point, medical science still
doesn't know much about HCE. And since fatalities are so rare it will
probably be years before research money becomes available."
In the meantime, the doctor urges people to take it easy and not think
too hard for long periods of time. "Take frequent relaxation breaks
when you're doing things that take lots of mental focus," he recommends.
(As a public service, WWN added a sidebar titled HOW TO TELL IF YOUR
HEAD'S ABOUT TO BLOW UP:)
Although HCE is very rare, it can kill. Dr. Martinenko says knowing you
have the condition can greatly improve your odds of surviving it. A
"yes" answer to any three of the following seven questions could mean
that you have HCE:
1. Does your head sometimes ache when you think too hard? (Head pain
can indicate overloaded brain circuits.)
2. Do you ever hear a faint ringing or humming sound in your ears? (It
could be the sound of electricity in the skull cavity.)
3. Do you sometimes find yourself unable to get a thought out of your
head? (This is a possible sign of too much electrical activity in the
cerebral cortex.)
4. Do you spend more than five hours a day reading, balancing your
checkbook, or other thoughtful activity? (A common symptom of HCE is a
tendency to over-use the brain.)
5. When you get angry or frustrated do you feel pressure in your
temples? (Friends of people who died of HCE say the victims often
complained of head pressure in times of strong emotion.)
6. Do you ever overeat on ice cream, doughnuts and other sweets? (A
craving for sugar is typical of people with too much electrical pressure
in the cranium.)
7. Do you tend to analyze yourself too much? (HCE sufferers are often
introspective, "over-thinking" their lives.)
------------------------------
Date: Sun, 26 Mar 95 20:13:49 EST
From: Dan Stagger <jimthing@eden.rutgers.edu>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
In-Reply-To: Your message of Sun, 26 Mar 95 00:00:54 EST
Message-ID: <CMM-RU.1.4.796266829.jimthing@er7.rutgers.edu>
In case you still have any doubts about the real truth behind the facts of
the case of the missing documents that explain the conspiracy to deny the
awful facts about the cover-up of the whitewash in high circles then don't
ask me, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!
---Deep Throat---
C.I.A= Charlie Is Anal
F.B.I.= Fudge Bleeders International
K.K.K. = Klancy Klumps Kleenex
------------------------------
From: MARK DANIELS <AVYIMAR@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk>
Organization: CCC, The University of Nottingham
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Date: Sun, 26 Mar 1995 15:47:23 GMT0BST
Subject: scribe-boy Final Part
Message-ID: <1DFC9F470BA@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk>
The thrilling conclusion ofour exciting story! :
The Chronicle of the Caboose:
They walked for many miles, over dunes and through sand storms.
The sand stung
in their eyes, especially scribeboys, but as time passed the 108
filled them with joy so full
and rounded, they almost passed out.
At last they came to a large hill with a path cutting it into two.
"Up there, sir?" asked scribeboy.
"Yes my son, up there and may your smoking jacket forever smoke with
a nice healthy odour.
Now be off with you, and always remember the 108".
The climb was long and hard, let alone perilous, difficult and
annoying, but scribeboy
continued none the less. As he reached the top, he saw the caboose.
It glittered prettily,
decorated in a shade of gold unknown previously. Scribe boy moved
closer, and as he got
closer it seemed to change colour, slowly at first and then to a
greater degree. Inscribed into
the door was the magic number 108, mighty in all its glory, its life,
its spirit and 108-ness.
Finally, he over-awed.
Waking to the sound of a clarion call of rather immense
proportions, scribeboy looked
around. He was positioned within the caboose itself, kneeling.
Immediately he set about
giving thanks to the sheer true power of 108 and rejoicing generally.
Once he had put the
hoist back, he decided to examine the caboose more thoroughly.
At one end sat a small altar, as might be used by a travelling
salesman in cramped situations.
(just like the trouser press, or small bat and ball on elastic) This
was covered with fine cloth,
obviously made by a skilled team of seamstresses, devoted to their
task, and in what better
forum than this to applaud their fine work? Furthermore, several
pipes had been positioned
strategically around the altar, displaying the 108's fine
presentation skills. (And as we know,
be nice and the 108 will scratch your back). This was all in front
of possibly the most racingly
racing green backdrop, covered in sequins that you've ever seen.
Meanwhile at the other end
of the wagon, there were several small bunks, with a piece of lumber
at the end of each bunk.
Relaxing in one of the bunks, he thought about his day, and wondered
where this could
possibly be leading..........
THE END!
By Rev. Badu. : First EvilSun RolfClench of the SubGenius.
Mark Daniels
Home pages: http://unicorn.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk/~avyimar/downmyclub.html
More slack than something that isn't taut.
------------------------------
End of Subgenius Digest
******************************
