Today's Topics:
A little Pink lie
Snug as a bug in a rug
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Date: Mon, 10 Apr 1995 12:53:31 -0400 (EDT)
From: Damon ELiX <grave@esu.edu>
To: SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject: A little Pink lie
Message-Id: <Pine.ULT.3.91.950410121016.18105A-100000@s40401.esu.edu>
These filthy TV preachers need to be Bobified and there dog followers too.
They tell you to find God and join his herd of sheep. They say pray and
follow in the name of Jesus to be saved from the fires of hell. To be
saved you have to be a saint and not a sinner. In other words they want
you to live a bland life with no sex, no drugs, no rock&roll, and pay them
for it. AND NO SLACK TOO.
Then you can get into heaven. Am I to assume that heaven is going to be
much different than this, but unfortunately they leave that information out.
For some reason though, millions buy this pink crap and dial the
number flashing on the screen in order to send what these preachers call
"a gift".(It is really tax free income for these preacher slobs to roll
around naked in.)
They are some salesmen these TV preachers. They sell there God to millions
without telling them precisely what they are getting. What is in heaven?
They only say it is wonderful place. Well so is a whore house if you
have the money.
Would these same people buying God, buy a hotdog and eat it before finding
out what was in it? Probably.
They also fail to emphasize the fact you must die first to get what
you paid for.
Lets see if you can get a full refund if it turns out to be the wrong
size for you.
These mindless dogs with pink behinds, that pay into these scams and
their little pink lies, need to know one thing.
Bob tells them exactly what they are getting for their money.
Crafty Bob is a much better salesman than these preachers anyway. I don't
see there names on any computer software. Bob's going hi-tech and
reaching a whole new audience and doing it for free! What a salesman.
BOBon,
Damon ELiX
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Date: Mon, 10 Apr 1995 18:33:46 -0400
Message-Id: <199504102233.SAA16133@shadow.net>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
From: Bartholomew Martin Motes <apollo@shadow.net>
Subject: Snug as a bug in a rug
I'm real disapointed that we didn't have this one: I Be Snug, U SXXX. OK,
well it doesn't quite work, but in sexism, as in every other form of praise,
it's the thought that counts.
Bart
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End of Subgenius Digest
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