Today's Topics:
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arse
electronic confessional
slacker year
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the mad ramblings of excrimeditated wisdom
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yeah, well
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Message-Id: <m0s3crl-0001aKC@net-abuse.org>
To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu
Subject:
Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 01:08:52 -0400
From: Doctor Lizardo <lizardo@net-abuse.org>
>From: Michael Salmond <M.Salmond@plymouth.ac.uk>
>
>Something weird about the coverage we get in the UK, for starters
>Hillary Clinton talking about people "Sharing their grief and worries
>with parents and friends" introducing a sort of national therapy day.
>Obviously families and friends will be traumatised etc. but the whole
>nation? Is it true? Shocked obviously but really worried etc.? This is
>really only your second. You get used to it..............
But you don't get it, man. Bill & Hillary, and all them other government
folks, they LOVE us. And we LOVE them. They REALLY CARE about us.
They FEEL OUR PAIN. They POUND ON PODIUMS WITH THE ACCENT OF EVERY WORD
(well, at least Bill does). You just don't understand what a big,
happy, sharing family we have over here in America. I'm SCARED and
SHOCKED and I want UNCLE and AUNTIE SAM to make it harder for those bad
terrorists to kill babies.
Anyone catch Larry King the day of the explosion? I nearly fell out of my
seat laughing when he asked a Fed building employee, blunt and to the
point: "You know anybody who died?"
-- Dr. Lizardo <lizardo@net-abuse.org> http://net-abuse.org/~lizardo/------------------------------
Message-Id: <199504251741.KAA18590@netcom16.netcom.com> Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 10:47:15 -0800 To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu From: Nukkahaid <antfarm@cruzio.com> Subject:
>From: Michael Salmond <M.Salmond@plymouth.ac.uk> >Organization: University of Plymouth >Date: Mon, 24 Apr 1995 18:26:08 GMT >Subject: >Message-ID: <46FFD5057A@cs_fs15.cs.plymouth.ac.uk> > >Small subject: Oklahoma (forgine any mis-spelling.)
>Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to make out you are a bunch o' >wussies or anything and obviously for Americans it is scary. I grew >up with the IRA threat as part of everyday life - reports, explosions >etc. We sure as hell didn't get any therapy for it though. > >Mike S.
Looky here, Mike, when powerful Americans behave strangely in the media it is not because anybody's feelings are involved. Stirring up sentiment a la Hillary's appeal is Step One towards passing new ooppressive legislation designed to allow our FBI to spy (and infiltrate and provoke) much more freely on American citizens. After they whip up a good anti-terrorist frenzy, they'll go ahead and eexpand the FBI's charter beyond anyone's wildest imagination ... the entire time making sure that no one ever defines the word "terrorist" so that there's always a reason to spy on anyone. Sorry to say it, but the fact that you write it off as Americans being goofy only makes it easy for them. Just keep asking the question: Who benefits? Just watch the money start to flow into American llaw enforcement ... with any who oppose getting shuttled over to the "terrorist sympathizer" list ...
Sweet dreams.
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From: Jennacy Backo <aubrey@tristan.corsair.com> Message-Id: <9504251416.ZM13754@trio.corsair.com> Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 14:16:39 -0500 In-Reply-To: <Subgenius-request@mc.lcs.mit.edu> "Subgenius Digest V6 #78" (Apr 25, 12:00am) To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject:
> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu > From: Michael Salmond <M.Salmond@plymouth.ac.uk> > Organization: University of Plymouth > Date: Mon, 24 Apr 1995 18:26:08 GMT > Subject: > Message-ID: <46FFD5057A@cs_fs15.cs.plymouth.ac.uk> > > Small subject: Oklahoma (forgine any mis-spelling.) > rest of stuff deleted, for it is Jennacy's pleasure...
Well, Mike (can I call you Mike?), all I can say is that we US-ians are a pretty odd bunch (gee, what gave you that impression?). We're a nation of weirdoes and sycophants and whiners and (for that select, hand-picked, honoured few) slackers. Nope, not a drop of yeti blood was wasted on us. I will return to my den now >insert scene of red-headed female being chased back into her cave by a bunch of rowdy, pipe smokin', fruit minin' folks< Um, Mike? I think these IRA gits need to be instilled with the fear of... the fear of... (come on, Jennacy! Tell us!) The fear of trouser pilots, the stupendous wrath of Bruce Lee, and the awesome powers of ScotMan(tm). There I said it. >crawl, crawl<
-Jennacy Backo Imagine if you will a herd of untamed Barbies being hunted by the magnificent, yet brutal, Scottie dog on the unforgiving Serengheti. The sick and the old and the very young of these plastic menaces to the delicate ecosystem of the African plain, are thinned by one of Nature's most perfect of hunters. A kill has been made! Because the wild Barbie is a very tough and gamey creature, only the hands are eaten. Alas, this is not the fate of the male of the species, called a Ken. No, his is much worse, for the Scotties relish the wild Ken as a rare delicacy and will rip apart a Ken carcass to get to that most delectable of foods, the odd lump in the groin region. In the spring, the Barbies give birth to the juvenile Barbie, called a Skipper. Ooo boy, let me tell you! The Scotties of the Serengheti have a field day with the Skippers, just rending them limb from limb, the plastic blood flying everywhere, the vultures teeming in the skies. Because the Barbies have no known protection, the Skipper death toll is very high and very few Skippers survive to metamorphose into a Barbie or a Ken. And so, Life continues on the Serengheti, with the age old struggle between the Barbies and the Scotties.
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Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 14:07:30 -0700 From: "Rev. Wizard of speed and HORSEPOWER" <android@rahul.net> Message-Id: <199504252107.AA13707@bolero.rahul.net> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject:
>> 1. What if armageddon never comes?! >> >> >> -- Zoggie >> zog@armory.com >> >>
Well, if armageddon never comes, it's up to you and me to MAKE it happen! (Or Die Laughing) (Or Kill ME.)
Pork Knuckles
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Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 14:21:28 -0700 From: "Rev. Wizard of speed and HORSEPOWER" <android@rahul.net> Message-Id: <199504252121.AA16015@bolero.rahul.net> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject:
>Small subject: Oklahoma (forgine any mis-spelling.) > >Something weird about the coverage we get in the UK, for starters
-crud deleted- > >To put my point in perspective - have you guys heard of a small >organisation called the IRA? 'Course you have, now for the last 25 or
-MORE crud deleted- > >Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to make out you are a bunch o' >wussies or anything and obviously for Americans it is scary. I grew >up with the IRA threat as part of everyday life - reports, explosions >etc. We sure as hell didn't get any therapy for it though. > >Mike S. >
Well, I suppose you could just say that the average con-duped Pinkest American leads a pretty sheltered life, and when something violent actually DOES happen, it's never in "their neighborhood" (or so they think..), SO it takes something fairly destructive like a big natural disaster or a huge explosion to get their attention. When it is gotten, they all feel this need to "sympathise" although they obviously cannot.
Think of this: somebody in a 100-person town dies, and the whole town goes to the funeral. Somebody in a 10,000-person town dies, a family or two goes to the funeral. Somebody in a 2,000,000-person city dies, and it's STILL only a family or two attending, while nobody else even hears about it. Somebody FAMOUS dies in a 2,000,000-person city dies, and thousands of people are leaving flowers on the grave, and crying like it was a relative.
250 little tiny buildings get blown up, spread sparsely over da amewikin lan' an' nobody eebin noz da differince. 1 big one goes up, especially one containing gubbermint offices, and everyone is suddenly crying and sending letters to everyone involved..
Never mind.. this sucks.
Golf Bag
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From: MARK DANIELS <AVYIMAR@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk> Organization: CCC, The University of Nottingham To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 08:08:41 GMT0BST Subject: arse Message-ID: <4A78B455883@ccn4.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk>
From: "kingston livingston III" <ARTS-01/HIS2DGC> To: arts-01/his2dgc Date: Mon, 24 Apr 1995 11:39:50 GMT Subject: (Fwd)
Subject: love-a-duck
now stone me, but did i not perchance earwig of some young harry redknapp at two and sixes, suggesting that we gentle britfolk (or amusingly united-kingdomites) 'appen as not to speak like dick van dyke. what a load of jimmy hill - the queen mother, gawd bless her (she won the war for us single handed don't you know, fightin' off as many of them frenchies as she did admiring yanks with their flashy nylons and fancy ways....), would turn in her grave - were she not alive (thanks to her strict diet of cockles and gin). and he's s'posed to be one of us - and at the esteemed institution of learning that is....plymouth. cor blimey guv'nor, it's a fair wonder you've not been picked up for your PINK nonObservance of linguistic trends. the next fing you know, you'll be calling early Grange Hill episodes a gritty portrayal of inner city youth culture in the early 80s (tho' judging by the antiRetro stance you took, I fear the all round slack full'o'cheese ness of this era may have slipped you by - all i can say to you is rhubarb and custard, chief). it's a sure sign of the decay in standards of these whippersnappers that they deny this vital aspect of our island paradise. arfur fowler IS the nephew of BoB - michelle IS ConniE. and besides our aim-eri- keen injun cousins are reknowned for their stunningly accurate portrayal of us - their attention to detail often leaves me and my cab-driving mile end associates lost for words (other than the statutory "well i 'ad that geezer off casualty in the back the other day mate, what a nice fella. and his missus too...."). and if it don't look right then they invade it till it does. i demand a yankee doodle dandy peacekeeping force for London and the South East. and anyway, pearly queens rule! lots of love the very rev. d.v.w ps: call me the sort to rob me grans pension, but it seems like i'm a- coming over the pond to new york for 18 months from this summer (to earn my first crust as a grown up in a slack-filled job). so all the badvice you have on avoiding PINKS with guns and maniac exmarines would be most appreciated. hey! in return i could even send you my exciting dissertation on a 1946 football (as in soccer) disaster....
Mark Daniels Home pages: http://unicorn.ccc.nottingham.ac.uk/~avyimar/downmyclub.html
More slack than something that isn't taut.
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From: dryfoo@mit.edu Message-Id: <9504251523.AA01561@thelonious.MIT.EDU> To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: electronic confessional Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 11:23:15 EDT
------- Forwarded Message
There is an "electronic confessional", but it is for entertainment. In the world wide web, access the http site as follows: http://anther.learning.cs.cmu.edu/priest.html
You select your sin, type in the details, and you get a penance back. It is oriented toward computer geeks. What a hoot!
------- End of Forwarded Message
-- dr foo, Fresno Roadway Clergy
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Date: Mon, 24 Apr 1995 21:26:52 -0700 Message-Id: <199504250426.VAA12087@odin.community.net> To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu From: James Loedding <ladmoe@community.net> Subject: slacker year
>The quote: "I will KEEL you!" comes to mind.. Eighties retro is THE BEST! >How can you possibly deny that the slackest, well, STUFF came from a time >period when "the people" had a SENILE PRESIDENT, >AND< voted him in for TWO >TERMS?! I, personally, wish that '85 could go on forever. It can't, so, >Viva La '98, the year to beat ALL years with a STICK, a HOSE, and 500,000 >tibias... > >Well.. Except maybe '53.. > >Rev. Android
I personally think '83 was the essential eighties year: with a shamelessly commericial party in the desert ( the Us festival ) ultimate escapisim in " Return of the Jedi ", not to mention the Madonna-what's-his-name's wedding, and our beloved vegtable-in-chief Ronnie giving us a quick and simple little cluster-fuck in Grenada, that slackest of slacker wars for a bunch of " I'm only in the Marines because I knocked somebody up "slackers.
ladmoe
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Message-Id: <199504251812.NAA16594@audumla.students.wisc.edu> Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 13:40:06 -0500 To: SubGenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu From: "Anson F. Davis, esq." <afdavis@students.wisc.edu> Subject: SUBSCRIBE
Most honorable Slack-masters,
You betcha! I want to be subscribed to the SubGenius mailing list, and get some much need "slack" back in my life. I'm tired of being an asshole. __________________________________________________________________________ |Anson Davis | |afdavis@students.wisc.edu | |========================================================================| |"There is a pleasure sure in being|"We are as private parts to the Gods;| | mad which none but madmen know." | they play with us for sport." | | --Dryden | --Lord Melchett | ==========================================================================
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From: Charles Albert Mangin <camangin@unity.ncsu.edu> Message-Id: <9504251516.ZM3122@unity.ncsu.edu> Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 15:16:56 -0400 To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: the mad ramblings of excrimeditated wisdom
a good <?> friend sent this to me, after a particularly long and arduous session of pure life, and without his permission i send it here.
>Brendan Volk-
sans wisdom my ass i is a history student i can tell you about things the government did that makes people look at me like i'm just another conspiracy theorist
people are so secure in their bland little america and a revolution is coming maybe not in our lifetime or our childrens lifetime but it is inevitable
tell the world the problem: this is america any war/revolution would be a class war their is very little division between class and race in this country and believe me the rebels aren't going to check voting records income maybe but what you vote is meaningless when the whole of a society you are fighting against seemed to be putting you down viva la raza viva la revolucion
and always learn from the presentt Chiapas: Government forces can't track down the rebels the indians blend with the native population the gov't must resort to terror tactics in the oppressed population world outcry and the truth of gov't oppression forces the gov't to slacken now think of a revolt arising in the inner-city Hmmmmmmm-wanni-wanni-Hmmmmmmm Stilmac sees concentration camps on the horizon
this is what i think about and this is why i am going to teach the children of america and live in a small town near the mountains where i can disappear if necessary only a few more years rest easy with your back to the water maybe you can catch a boat across the ocean when the shit hits the fan. but then Jehovah-1 may come before the inevitable occurs
---
--~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | /` . . | | \,harles |v|angin : Brother Big of the order of the Speak 'n' Spell Oracle| |---------------------------------------------------------------------------| ||camangin@unity.ncsu.edu || HTTP://www4.ncsu.edu/unity/users/c/camangin || || <919> 512-9621 || ^--<note the change> || ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Message-Id: <199504251655.JAA09856@netcom19.netcom.com> Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 10:01:03 -0800 To: Subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu From: Nukkahaid <antfarm@cruzio.com> Subject: unsubscribe
unsubscribe
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Message-Id: <9504251503.AA01515@thelonious.MIT.EDU> From: "The Rt. Rev. Wor. Dr. Y. Foo, FRC" <dryfoo@mit.edu> To: subgenius@mc.lcs.mit.edu Subject: yeah, well Date: Tue, 25 Apr 1995 11:03:04 EDT
} Subgenius Digest Tue, 25 Apr 95 Volume 6 : Issue 78 } From: Michael Salmond <M.Salmond@plymouth.ac.uk> } Small subject: Oklahoma (forgine any mis-spelling.) ^ Hey, no promblebo. Don't wormy about it.
} To put my point in perspective - have you guys heard of a small } organisation called the IRA? 'Course you have, now for the last 25 or } so years London, and for that matter most of the UK, has been under } a constant terrorist threat. All we get is "Well it's a tragedy but we'll } cope" from our PM. Somewhat different reaction. } } In '93 a bomb went off in a busy London shopping street - people } were killed, maimed etc. The news coverage lasted about two days } max. } } Don't get me wrong I'm not trying to make out you are a bunch o' } wussies or anything and obviously for Americans it is scary. I grew } up with the IRA threat as part of everyday life - reports, explosions } etc. We sure as hell didn't get any therapy for it though.
What you have to realize is that we're used to doing this to Other People, not having it done _to_ _Us_.
For instance, during the Gulf War, there were billboards up in sweet home Oklahoma City showing a funny-looking Arab on a camel, within aiming crosshairs, stuff like that. And those tv films of "smart" bombs blowing up whole city blocks in downtown Bagdad were pretty popular in OK City, too. And I don't remember that the US Army's invasion of Panama (3000 killed) with the bombing and shelling of a few residential blocks of Panama City triggered too much mass protest or mourning in OKietown.
See, that stuff's supposed to happen to Other People, especially Brown Other People, not us. It's just the shock of being at the wrong end of getting blown up that's got us all excited. Maybe like our courageous Brit cousins, we'll get over it. Got any spare Winston Churchill posters you can send over?
BY THE WAY, maybe you can help me out on this one: Suppose that you were PM John Major, and that you wanted to change Prez Bill Clinton's attitude about the IRA, Sinn Fein and all that. If you could have Brit Secret Service agents infiltrate a fringe-nut US militia group, what sort of thing would you want your operatives to incite that group to do in order to change US opinion about terrorist bombers and their bombing campaigns? I'm sure there's probably something they could do that would have the desired effect, but I'm having trouble figuring out what it might be. Let me know if you can think of anything. (Extra points for answering this one: Did I spend too much time during my recent air travels reading Larouchie newspapers?)
-- dr foo
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