10-13-96 Sunday IRC Devival #subgenius
*** Topic for #subgenius: Stanga Claus sighted on radar... fighters scrambled. Details after this break.
*** Topic for #subgenius set by P-Lil on Sunday, October 13, 1996 7:40:57 PM
#subgenius: Stang Friday-j VT @talysman @lurch @N_X_K @P-Lil @ICEKNIFE @TropicalHotDogDave @RevJack @TheJessie @MegaWhat
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*** Mode is +tnl 999
*** Channel created at Sunday, October 13, 1996 5:53:44 PM
TropicalHot But you can save it for the birds and bees, right?
RevJack: Hullo Ivan
talysman: hi, Stang!
lurch: they expensive
Friday-j: TropicalHot - Have you tried wearing something sheer with an elaborate dye job underneath?
TropicalHot GNATS FUCK MY EARS AND NOSTRILS!
Friday-j: Oh "Bob", it's THAT GUY again.
lurch: if you buy the good ones
TropicalHot I'm too damn poor to spend my money on CLOTHES!
MegaWhat: Sneeze baby SNEEZE!
RevJack: another Macro, dave?
RevJack: Stang, type faster willya?
Friday-j: TropicalHot - Then maybe just the dye would be nice.
*** P-Lil has set the topic on channel #subgenius to Cootie Smoking Trip--Have A Seat and Strap Yourself In
TropicalHot No, the one about gnats wasn't a macro. I was quoting Captain Beefheart again.
lurch: capt beerfart
*** CTCP PING 845259013 from RevJack replied
*** CTCP PING 845246709 from talysman replied
MegaWhat: Don't inhale?
Stang: God you people are fast. I musta spent 30 seconds just labeling my log file.
Friday-j: P-Lil- You look very dashing in your chainmail stockings, feminine yet STRONG.
TropicalHot Hey, what the hell is wrong with you, old man?
talysman: he must be having a conversation in RealNet.
MegaWhat: We are many is all
RevJack: It's okay Ivan, you aren't OLD or anything
N_X_K: Stang must be here...I sense a powerful "ki..." More specifically, the lack OF it)
*** SaintChri (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #subgenius
Friday-j gets someone else to keep poking Stang awake with a sharp stick
lurch: turn five dollars
talysman: Stang: you need a prog that autologs...
MegaWhat decides to IGNORE Stang. It the only way to be safe.
TropicalHot I don't even own ANY metal clothes.
P-Lil: Friday: Thank you dear. My latex is at the cleaners'.
*** SaintChri is now known as ChrisLee
lurch: proghorn cantaloupe
TropicalHot Autologging prong. Humm.
Friday-j: MegaWhat - We are never safe.
Stang: I AM old and I do have Tourrette's...
TropicalHot Honrblende proghead?
*** Mode change "+o Stang" on #subgenius by P-Lil
lurch: Mountain Goofs
MegaWhat: Tourrrrrrettttes! Fucking CHARMED!
*** Mode change "+o Friday-j" on #subgenius by P-Lil
RevJack: Talysman - but it doesn't rhyme that way
Friday-j: Tourette's - isn't that a really fancy wig?
TropicalHot Latex, metal; all my clothes are BORING!
Stang: P-Lil, you look GORGOEUS!! MY god if I didn't know you were just another Texan like me, I;'d fuck ya.
MegaWhat: oops. I forgot already.
lurch: That's the wax moooseam
talysman: I am channeling Grantland tonight.
Stang: Frioday, as always, you are a GODDESS.
Stang: Rev. Jack, as always you look so studly why, I'd go queer just to fuck ya.
Stang: Lurch, if you'd pay for my mike I'd forgive ya.
Stang: It was only $10
TropicalHotDogDave is starting to get envious. But he has no damn idea why.
VT: Chainmail can catch hairs... must be VERY careful...
Friday-j: P-Lil - Nothing wrong with Texas wimmin in MY opinion. Ignore that bitter old man.
P-Lil: Stang: Like you? I have quite a bit more chin than you, sweetie.
TropicalHot But that's FUN.
ICEKNIFE: I'm back
MegaWhat: Chin fucking?
lurch: bring aigs?
RevJack waves his ass in Stang's direction
ICEKNIFE: Who let Stang in here?
P-Lil: That's right, sock me riiiiiiiiight here.
RevJack: come 'n get it big boy
talysman: ICEKNIFE just WENT... that's how studly he is...
Friday-j: Uh-oh, Stang's really kissing butt tonight - bet he wants more ads for the Interim Report.
TropicalHot I grew a beard because I didn't like my chin.
Friday-j plants a gentle kiss on P-Lil's dainty chin
RevJack: ahee ahooo *whew*
TropicalHot Aigs? Fifty aigs?
P-Lil: Awwwww. *nibbles Friday's nose*
lurch: no man kin eat fifty aig
Friday-j lubricates her vaginal tentacles
TropicalHot If I hadn't just had some BREAD I'd be getting really hungry about now.
MegaWhat: Lurch? Did you really?
P-Lil: Stang: Oh, all RIGHT, I'll send you money. Give me a couple weeks.
lurch: pussy whips
*** Modemac (Modemac@98.cambridge-2.ma.dial-access.att.net) has joined channel #subgenius
Stang: I met a guy who actually has Tourrette's Syndrome the other day, and his kid has it too. He never once hollered "FUCK JESUS UP THE ASS" and in fact seemed perfectly, eh, nnormal.
lurch: dino flaggelates
Friday-j: Lurch - Yes, their original meaning is now revealed.
TropicalHot "..don't walk with me.. just fuck with me.. please.. you know I'm feeling frail.."
*** Mode change "+o Modemac" on #subgenius by ICEKNIFE
RevJack: Hi Modemac
Friday-j gives Modemac a big MANLY hug
TropicalHot MODEMAC! GUTEN ABEND!
VT: Tourrette's can be controlled with meds for some people...
Modemac needs another Net server just for his ego today. :) I finally got my Web page mentioned in a Net book.
talysman: we need jetrock in here, he'll explain Tourettes for us...
MegaWhat: Yah. But the meds make them less creative or something.
TropicalHotDogDave has no time for web pages
Friday-j: KISSES TO MODEMAC!
RevJack applauds Modemac heartily
N_X_K: Oh, it's Modemac.
Modemac: Hey, Stang, you like the kiddie porn I sent you today?
P-Lil: Modemac! Did you know your nick is an anagram of "DemonCam", if you'd only add an N to your nick somewhere?!?
TropicalHot but I may put one up anyway just for my tape list.
Friday-j: All hail the Pink-recognized hero!
RevJack: *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* *CLAP* <whistle>
Stang: Modemac sent me the ULTIMATE in child porno gifs today. It's goiung onto SubSITE immediately along with our a-bomb instructions so we can be OFFICIAL.
Modemac: Friday! <smooch>
*** ChrisLee has left channel #subgenius
RevJack has mail!
TropicalHot CHILD PORNO GIFS? FETUS molestation?
Friday-j claps quietly from under the hem of her dressing gown
*** ChrisLee (email@example.com) has joined channel #subgenius
Friday-j: Stang - Official what?
Stang: Modemac's child porno was called "lisapusy.gif" and actually featured Lisa Simpson washing her cat, but by god we can at least CLAIM legitimacy due to it...
Modemac: Not exactly, THDDave. It's toon kiddie porn: Lisa Simpson's pussy.
TropicalHot Official SUPRESSIVE PERSONS.
Friday-j: MegaWhat - Have you read "The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat"? Good chapter on Tourette's in there.
P-Lil: Under The Hem... a gristly tale of degredation, prostitution, and frappie.
TropicalHot But he didn't really mistake his wife for a hat!
talysman: thank DOBBS, "Soul Man" is OVER.
MegaWhat: YAH. That's where I gained my superficial know-it-all attitude on Tourettes!!!
P-Lil: Under The Hem... the new steamer novel by Lilith von Fraumench. Jack off on a copy today!
Friday-j: TropicalHot - Time for us to all hat with each other!
Stang: I have read "The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat." I identified with it major-league.
MegaWhat: I have mistook my husband for a doormat...
P-Lil: Stang: That is a good read.,...
Modemac: BTWm Stang, I didn't draw that picture. The artist who drew it *is* mentioned there. I'll have to tell him about the ,gif, and I know he won't have any objections to it being displayed on SubSite.
Friday-j: If I had a wife, I'd probably mistake her for Stang - at least from behind. I like skinny women.
TropicalHotDogDave knew the end was nigh for comedy central when they showed Alien from LA unmsted..
Friday-j: Of course I like plump ones too.
TropicalHot MEAT! Give me lots and lots of MEAT on the women.
MegaWhat: The plump when you cook em!
TropicalHotDogDave repeats his ironing board comment for those who missed it the first time
Friday-j: Under the Hen - a gristly poultry tale.
talysman pities those who PAID to see Alien from LA
TropicalHot Cook 'em? Not unless you count letting 'em stew in their own juices.
Modemac: I actually *paid* to see Lou Ferrigno's "Hercules."
*** RevJack is now known as Doormat
TheJessie: they plump when you marry 'em.
ICEKNIFE: it's a good disorder... it's one of the 5 under the psychosis selection power in the cd we're working on...
Friday-j: TropicalHot - How abou;t Stang doing the MST3K treatment on a Jerry Falwell promotional film?
*** Doormat is now known as RevJack
TropicalHot I paid to see "Big Shots".
P-Lil: A plucking, clucking good time for all! --Ralph Reed, *My Secret Life In The Henhouse*
TropicalHot YEERSH! It deserves it..
Stang: I saw the Lou Ferigno HERCULES on cable. It reminded me of Friday's butt.
*** Signoff: ChrisLee (Read error to ChrisLee[indy1.indy.net]: EOF from client)
TropicalHot A season 3 ep had an oblique ref to the CotSG.
Friday-j: I saw "Howard the Duck" for free. I did pay to see "Johnny Mnemonic" - just for Udo Kier. Udo, Udo, Udo ... (sigh)
MegaWhat: I just saw "Get SHorty" for free. I wont' pay for Scieno flicks.
talysman: Fiday's Butt is a Greek Demigod?
Stang: Friady has a Divine Butt.
Friday-j: Stang - Which part reminded you of my butt? The clumsy robots?
RevJack: I saw a nekkid woman last nite for free
Friday-j: Poor Chris Lee - this is not his night.
P-Lil: My favorite movie is STILL the Sean Connery flick *Zardoz*.
talysman: TroDave: yes, "Ring of Terror".
Modemac: I didn't know you were a woman, RevJack.
MegaWhat: Even I have my principles. Dammit! Dammit! I am FIRM ON THEM.
lurch: that was great
ICEKNIFE: Circle of Iron
Stang: Friday, your Butt is almost the pertfectly designed SHORT CHICK BUTT. No offense.
Friday-j: You mean we aren't ALL women?
TropicalHot I heard Travolta got in a big fight with Polanski because Polanski said scientology was a crock of shit while they were `?nworking on a movie.
lurch: twilight people
RevJack: I saw "Pink Flamingoes" last night - reminded me of alt.slack
Modemac: Zardoz! "The gun is good. The penis is evil."
lurch: shoot seed
Friday-j: Stang - I myself think it's about 2" too big around, but I'm working on it.
lurch: flying around in a head
TropicalHot Talysman: I was thinking of "Snow thrills".
Modemac: Well, alt.slack without the "fuzzy animal bitterness" thread...
TropicalHot Friday: Always you worrying about the butt. I don't get it.
MegaWhat: Dave: Heard that too.
VT: Speaking about 'Alien from LA'... there is a movie, British I believe, that uses parts of that movie for a different movie with a different name... talk about scraping bottom...
Stang: Pink Flamingos IS alt.slack, except that the cast died.
P-Lil: Modemac: Sean Connery running around in red underwear and with a Highlander ponytail.
N_X_K: Shit...All WWW pages regarding The Young Ones have been wiped off the face of the Earth...
Friday-j: Tropical - I'm the one who has to sit on the damn thing all day, y'know.
TropicalHot No, the best movie of all time is "The World's Greatest Sinner", starring Timothy Carey.
lurch: fuckin that brit bag o bones
TropicalHot EVERYONE must see this film.
RevJack: I used to think of alt.slack as being like "200 Motels", but I grew up
Friday-j: Stang - Most people on alt.slack have that faint whiff of decay ...
Stang: Friday, I would pay GOOD MONEY to sit on your butt with my butt.
Modemac: BTW, Stang, what's THIS? The teacher at your kids' high school won't allow them to put their own pictures on the Web?
TropicalHot Nah, 200 Motels weren't no good. I like FZ, but 200 motels.. Blech.
P-Lil: I was disappointed with 200 Motels. The soundtrack is so much better than the visuals or the plot.
TropicalHot Uncle Meat is even worse.
Stang: Have you ever done a butt-rub? Seriously. A butt is a very handy massage tool.
TropicalHot It was very obviously thrown together.
Friday-j: Stang - How much money? Wouldn't you rather pay BAD MONEY???
RevJack: Dave - EXACTLY
lurch: handy message tool
lurch: smoke signals
MegaWhat: Butt messages?
Friday-j: Stang - Yes, I've rubbed with and upon the butt. May I rub your sometime?
MegaWhat: Stamp that shit
Friday-j oils her hands and gets ready to rub Stang's butt
lurch: mooose code
talysman whips out his sometime.
TropicalHot FZ should've stuck to soundtracks. Like "The World's Greatest Sinner".
Friday-j bruises her hands on the protruding bones
RevJack: NO BUTT TALK
MegaWhat: Here we go again..
TropicalHot I used to think butt-fucking was rubbing butts together.
lurch: no Buttock
Friday-j: NO BUTTER TALK
RevJack: Stang, it'll get infected
talysman: so, Dave, you got laid?
MegaWhat: Those cheeks bite back
lurch: I can't believe it not butter
TropicalHot No, I still am not laid.
RevJack: I thought it was ICEKNIFE that got laid
Friday-j: I can't butter a believer
MegaWhat: Dave is getting closer
RevJack: wasn't me
TropicalHot Don't taunt, dammit. PROBABLY! FUCKING GODDAMNED PROBABLY!
Stang: Friday, you're welcome to rub my butt, but my heart belongs to someone else. Modemac, the principal at my wife's school decided that no child could ever have its name exposed on the Internet... as opposed to the library...
talysman: damn, meg, that's vicious!
P-Lil: Tropical: I've heard homosexuality called "bumping cocks" before.
MegaWhat: ICE got a birthday bang
Friday-j: Does it count as getting laid if you do it standing up?
lurch: She can't believe she got buggered
RevJack: Yes, friday
TropicalHot Friday: Yes.
TropicalHot But do blowjobs count as getting laid?
talysman: GODDAMN MY VCR!!
Friday-j: Stang - OK, I'll rub the butt and someone else can do the OPEN CHEST HEART MASSAGE BLOOD SPEWING EVERYWHERE!
MegaWhat: Of course friday
RevJack: Talysman - ate the tape?
VT: Butter? I didn't see any 'Last Tango in Paris' references?
lurch: at e the tapeworm
Modemac: That's right, all of those Internet Child Molesters are just waiting to pounce on your kids.,..
TropicalHot The stereo I'm using now ate my copy of "Freaks and Motherfuckers".
talysman: started at the WRONG TIME.
lurch: I coulda been a champ
*** UncleBear (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #subgenius
lurch: stead of a bum
TheJessie: yes, Dave, but it only counts if someone else is there.
N_X_K: Shit...My Linux box just had a seizure
talysman: hi, Bear!
UncleBear: Evening, all
Friday-j: P-Lil - What about "docking" where two guys tie their dicks together by the foreskin?
TropicalHot I $*j?yonly WISH I could linux.
MegaWhat: Git the big buns!
Stang: No seriously, ya'll, I'm saying that a BUTT is a useful massage tool. Someone lays down on their belly and you slide your butt up and down their back... one can apply far more pressure that way, it's a legitimate tool.
TropicalHot What's that thing called where guys shove saline solution up their urethra?
lurch: dog lenth
*** cuthulu (email@example.com) has joined channel #subgenius
RevJack scratches Bear behind the ears
*** Mode change "+o cuthulu" on #subgenius by ChanServ
Friday-j gets ready to butter buns
TropicalHot And what's that artificial widening of the urethra thingy?
talysman: my linux went nuts when I reinstalled.
P-Lil: Friday: I've only seen that happen with outside help, like alligator clips.
RevJack scratches Cuthulu behind the bar
N_X_K: Odd...Once I started looking for "stick a pickaxe through your spinal column" with Netscape the whole thing froze
Friday-j: Stang - I'd be afraid of your skinny back getting stuck in my crack.
UncleBear scratches RevJack behind the ears
RevJack scratches his nuts while no one's looking
TropicalHot Stang: I'll have to look out for the opportunity to do that.
cuthulu: make star love, not star wars
TropicalHot I SAW THAT, Jack..
TropicalHot ARRRRGH.. Goddamned LINE NOISE..
*** Randji (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #subgenius
RevJack: sorry dave
Stang: You can wrap your urethra round a sycamore tree, according to Joe Newman's songh about Tom Landry and the Dallas Cowboys.
MegaWhat scratches RevJack less gently
talysman: it's the amazing Ranji!
Friday-j: I'ts gonna be a hot time in the old channel toniiiiight ...
P-Lil: Tropical: That's called "ball-point-pen-up-yer-damn-DICK-boy!"
TropicalHot Stang: Yeah, I have that album.
Friday-j: Stang - You wrap first.
Randji: Praise Bob I'm Wired!
MegaWhat: Urethra Franklin
RevJack: Dave, did you ever notice that the line noise only happens when you get all emotional?
TropicalHot Cuthulu: I may find a use for that webspace on Rlabs. Dump some FZ trade lists on there.
MegaWhat: Gotta wrap dat
TropicalHot Jack: It's the exact opposite in the real world.
*** Mode change "+o UncleBear" on #subgenius by P-Lil
cuthulu: tropicalhotdogdave: otay!
TropicalHot I usually talk with a slight lisp, but whenever I get worked up over something I'm completely and totally intelligible.
Stang: Rev. Jack, I sympathise completely with your wish that there be less butt and dick talk.
TropicalHot Cuthulu: And would some Beefheart AVIs be OK?
lurch: dick buttkiss
RevJack: Stang - unless it's about mine.
UncleBear: Thanks P-Lil
MegaWhat: Jack is just skeered
Friday-j: I think Randji is the first person to mention "Bob" in here tonight.
TropicalHot I grabbed 'em off HPR during a temporary no-quota time.
RevJack: I ain't skeered o' nuthin
lurch: see dick's butt
Friday-j: WHAT ABOUT "BOB"!!!
talysman: let's talk about revJack's butt-dick.
*** cuthulu is now known as Dmitri_Shostakovich
TropicalHot Randji sure as hell is. And I missed it.
lurch: jack's duckbutt
TropicalHot Russians fucking RULE, man.
P-Lil: Friday: I once saw a guy's dick turned inside out, and his balls stuffed into the cavity, and his scrotum SEWN to his pubic mound.
RevJack: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS "BOB" PERSON ANYWAYS
UncleBear: Something in my house smells like rotting meat.
Stang: See Butt Dick. See Dick Butt. See Friday Monday.
Friday-j: Let us discuss the butt of "Bob"
lurch: duck's jackboot
TropicalHot "Bob" is my dad. I thought everyone knew that.
MegaWhat exclaims, "Great, just great. Now he's buttering his dick"
Dmitri_Shos something in my house smeels like Zoogz's dishwasher
Friday-j: P-Lil - Must make for an interesting sex life. Was this part of a m-t-f sex change?
P-Lil: RevJack: This isn't 2010...,.
Stang: Tropical -- you into Peter the Great?
UncleBear: I think Rev. Beppo lied about disposing of that bod..er, I mean...
N_X_K: Dave:You and how many other lawsuits attest to that?
lurch: Black Jack buck lick
RevJack: Bear - check your pants first
Friday-j: Stang - You're going to see me on Monday? How sweet! BTW I presume you got my dirty pictures.
TropicalHot Into peter the great? How do you mean, Stang?
lurch: Peter the great
TropicalHot IT'S FULL OF STARS..
UncleBear: Jack, I'm not wearing pants.
lurch: St Peter
lurch: I'm wearing plants
P-Lil: Friday: No. The guy wasn't transgendered at all. He just got off on seeing his mistress do anything she wanted to do to him. The pain was a minor thing in comparison.
Friday-j: Grate the peter over a saled - good protein shot!
Modemac: Here's a Revelation: The volcano on the cover of "Dianetics" is actually a modified picture of "Bob" PYROFLATULATING!
RevJack: P-Lil - are you referring to something I said abot 20 minutes ago?
talysman: dammit, no STAR TREK references!
Dmitri_Shos Peter the not-half-bad
Stang: Friday -- I did indeed get your dirty pics, at some cost to my server, but I really got flooded with email and have been working on LATE TAXES so ...
Friday-j: P-Lil - Now that's a submissive I'd like to meet.
TropicalHot NXK: No PROOF at all, of course. Doesn't make it any less TRUE.
N_X_K: Have any of you seen Randji before? He might be Martyr again...
Modemac: Paise Be to Bob's Ass and his Mighty Farts.
P-Lil: RevJack: No, I mentioned "bumping cocks"....
lurch: A might Fartist Is oUr Bob
RevJack: yes p-lil? I'm a little slow tonight
P-Lil: Friday: I know some sick fuckers, and I love them to death.
MegaWhat: A little slain
TropicalHot I'd only do that if I could do something just as nasty in return...
Friday-j: Praise the trobbing urethra of "Bob" unloading his holy Seed-Word across the face of this miserable pink planet, smearing it in and then making them SWALLOW IT ALL!
lurch: SIck in bed
P-Lil: RevJack: You asked if I was referring to something you said 20 minutes ago. I said no.
MegaWhat: slick cluckers
TropicalHot Ircle is an irc program. Generic nick.
Stang: If one were to pick up Robert Massey's historical book about Peter the Great, one would learn that that particular Tsar of Russia founded the Church of the SubGenius in the 1700s.
Friday-j: P-Lil - Do you have a good way of disposing of the bodies? I just feed 'em to the cats.
lurch: peasant pluckers
UncleBear: With a name like kluckers...
RevJack gets it now, or at least pretends that he does
Friday-j: Tsar Stang has spoken!
*Modemac* I just got permission from the artist of the Lisa Simpson .gif to let you put it up at SubSite.
lurch: upchuckka boots
TropicalHot I wouldn't be surprised, Stang. How my mom got suckered by that bastard, I don't know.
Friday-j watches the chickens pecking away under her desk\
P-Lil: Friday: Nah, we let them live--it's more twisted that way.
Stang: I have to go flip the new Hour of Slack Tape. Back in a sec. It was a good show this time, not like last time.
MegaWhat: Tsar. tisk tsisks
Dmitri_Shos any luck getting laid yet?
TropicalHot I"M WORKING ON IT, dammit! PROBABLY PROBABLY FUCK FUCK FUCK
RevJack: Star Trek: Next Gen would be a lot better if Q smoked a pipe, I'd wager
*** lurch is now known as Snot_Whistle
N_X_K: Stang:Many times during history the Church has been formed...Then purposely corrupted and abandoned.
TropicalHot OK, one last time for our men in uniform:
TropicalHot I met this girl. She likes me. I like her.
Stang: Friday, the hideous truth is that I really AM the bastard grandson of the Tsarina and Rasputin.
TropicalHot BUT: She has a boyfriend. BUT: She's "probably" breaking up with him.
MegaWhat: I predict, Dave will have mindblowing sex before he DIES
RevJack: Dave - so, did you boink her?
Stang: And you assholes thought I was just bullshitting.
P-Lil: You know, if I had weaker scruples and more sales talent, I would--just to see how many sadistic dumbshits are out there--market a Gerbil Cannon.
Dmitri_Shos who bought the bump?
TropicalHot NO BOINKING, come on, give me TIME!
Friday-j: Stang - So THAT'S why you're so hard to kill! Damn! Next time I'll have to try stuffing you into the hole in the ice.
RevJack: lol P-Lil
UncleBear: Anyone here ever here the Rasputin song by Boiled in Lead?
Snot_Whistl Rat a pult
TropicalHot Of course I'll have mindblowing sex before I die. The ONE TRUE SIGN OF THE END TIMES is when I have mindblowing sex. I'm not kidding here.
RevJack WANTS A GERBIL CANNON for scientific research, of course
Friday-j: P-Lil - the old Whammo Air Blaster works pretty well on small rodents.
Modemac: That just means you can't poison him. Shooting with a gun would probably still work.
*** TheJessie is now known as TheCharlie
TropicalHot If I get laid, the end is near indeed.
P-Lil: You load up the cannon with a gerbil BUTT FIRST. Fill the chamber with 100 psi of compressed air.
TropicalHot Or rather, WHEN I get laid, because it's not a question of "if".
TheCharlie: Dave.. if you don't Boink her, how will you know if you want to date her?
Dmitri_Shos brb time to make some soothing herb tea before a stimulating bout of great mutant sex.
talysman: Dave, don't say that... someone might KILL you to avert ARMAGEDDON.
Snot_Whistl hamster howitzer
P-Lil: Lubricate, position, and RELEASE.
Stang: I have to go pee now, I'll read this part later on the log.
*** ChrisLee (email@example.com) has joined channel #subgenius
TropicalHot Well, I couldn't boink someone if we weren't FRIENDS..
RevJack: Chris, what is your position on Gerbil Cannons?
Friday-j: I just saw the Pope on TV!
ChrisLee: i'd prefer a bee gun
TropicalHot I'm just saying that because I'm among friends here. Do you want armageddon? Sure, we all do!
MegaWhat: Stang: I'm not falling for that
TheCharlie: Dave.. you watch too much TV..
P-Lil: But here's the sick part. This is for all those people who want to know what it's like to have a live critter crawling around in their ass, right?
TropicalHot No, I hardly ever watch TV.
*** ChrisLee has left channel #subgenius
Dmitri_Shos i think he should masturbate more
Modemac: It's official: the artist of the Lisa Simpson porn gave his permission to put that picture on SubSite.
MegaWhat: i don't need to wonder LIL
TheCharlie: Thank you Dr Ruth...
Friday-j: Modemac - They took an awful lot of whacks at Rasputin before he dropped. Pickled his gherkin as I recall, maybe it'll be kept next to the Bump in the Museum of Slack
N_X_K: No...You take six or seven snails, rip off their shells and stick THEM in the air blaster
TropicalHot And anyway, if someone snuffs me I'll just come back in a form EVEN MORE LIKELY to have depraved kinky sex.
Snot_Whistl I think we ought to market little miners lights
RevJack: Meg wrote the book on it
MegaWhat: It's a CURSE
Snot_Whistl gerbil size
P-Lil: Well, given the gerbil's velocity going through the cannon, it'll wind up being a DEAD CRITTER.
Snot_Whistl for spelunking rodents
TropicalHot You can't stop FATE, dammit.
Friday-j: NXK - No! Banana slugs! Great in the butt!
*** ChrisLee (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #subgenius
Dmitri_Shos p-lil: laden or unladen?
MegaWhat: Li'l bitty claws 'n paws with every step she takes!
MegaWhat: Just like the li'l mermaid
Friday-j: Tropical - I suggest returning as a yak. All that long hair ...
TropicalHot NO FUCKING MONTY PYTHON REFS!
UncleBear: Rasputin's not dead. I saw him partying with "Bob" just last year.
Snot_Whistl fish are best
UncleBear: We need to kill 'em both. Again.
*** Signoff: Randji (Write error to Randji[188.8.131.52], closing link)
P-Lil: Laden? With what?
TropicalHot I'll have to keep that in mind if I get a choice.
VT: What you need to market is a Gerbil Remover...
MegaWhat: Li'l mermaid has no ASS perse, but you get my meaning.
Snot_Whistl rat vac
P-Lil: VT: No, I'
Friday-j: Market Gerbil Grease!
RevJack: The Amazing Randji has...disappeared!
Dmitri_Shos Gerbil Jam
P-Lil: VT: No, I'm in collusion with ambulance drivers.
Friday-j: It's amazing!
*** Tarnsman (~Tarns@fh-ppp45.monmouth.com) has joined channel #subgenius
talysman: he's been transmorgirfied into a toad by the even more amazing Kreskin.
*** TropicalHotDogDave is now known as ProbablyDave
Tarnsman: Hi all
RevJack: Tarnsman, what is your position on Gerbil Cannons?
P-Lil: Meg: Yeah, what did The Li'L Mermaid piss out of anyhow?
Friday-j: Tarnsman AND Talysman? What's a poor kajira to do?
UncleBear: Tarnsman! Just in from Gor?
Tarnsman: I like them... :)
ProbablyDav P-Lil: A Jar.
talysman: Tal, warrior.
RevJack: Thank you
MegaWhat: Lil: her nose, but don't mentionit.
VT: P-Lil: Ah... the truth comes out... or it doesn't come out and that's way you have to call an ambulance and a vet...
Tarnsman: Yupp.. Damn cramped space ships!! :O
*** Dmitri_Shostakovich is now known as Edgar_Var
Tarnsman: Tal Friday and talysman
P-Lil: VT: Sure. Now, if one of them piss me off, SURE I'll market a Gerbil Remover.
Friday-j gets ready to hide her brand under her robe
*** Edgar_Var is now known as Edgar_Varese
ProbablyDav No, it's quote nick, EdgarD.
*** Snot_Whistle is now known as PaleRider
ProbablyDav And I'm going to call you Edgard. Whether you like it.. or not.
RevJack: "by the even more amazing Kreskin" - just got that, lol
N_X_K: Shit, let's have some more Young Ones refs...Great family fun. There's nothing wrong with "Ooh, sone sod broke your window! That'll be another 200 quid you owe me..."
P-Lil: Cuthulu: You're sick. I love you!
Friday-j: Tarnsman - Would you like some paga?
Tarnsman: LOL I guess I did find the right channel on another net!!
UncleBear: Tarnsman--what city you from?
RevJack: yes you poos bastard
Tarnsman: Sure Friday.. Long as it's from Ar!!
Friday-j: We've been warming the paga over the fire we started in Stang's hair. He probably won't notice it for a while, so don't tell him.
ProbablyDav Paga? Why are we talking about obscure Zeuhl splinter groups?
RevJack: POOS POOS POOS
*** PaleRider is now known as Fresh_Hog
Tarnsman: Port Kar!!
*** Randji (email@example.com) has joined channel #subgenius
Edgar_Vares I taunt you, dave, with my correct lack of a d
RevJack: Randji, what is your position on Gerbil Cannons?
talysman: Putt Karr!
UncleBear: First time I've been around folks who admit reading John Norman
ProbablyDav IS PAGA OR IS PAGA NOT BERNARD PAGANOTTI'S GROUP?
Fresh_Hog: bent over in front
Friday-j: Dave - We are referring to the John Norman "Gor" series.
VT: P-Lil: Or just grease up a black racer or something similar, then you can be Earth friendly...
P-Lil: WARNING: Before using Gerbil Cannon, make sure to severely dilate the sphincter. Failure to do so may result in "rugburn".
Fresh_Hog: or distance man
Friday-j: I think a rape rack would be a great thing to sell at SF conventions.
ProbablyDav Oh. John Norman probably doesn't even speak Kobaian. Fuck him.
talysman: ehoah, I've read it. not good, but amusing...
Tarnsman: Hey.. I did it just today.. :)
Edgar_Vares Iceknife of Gpr
TheCharlie: ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.... BOOM.....................<squeak, squeak> splat!
ProbablyDav A rape rack? Why do you need a RACK for that?
Tarnsman: Don't fuck Norman.. He's dead..
Edgar_Vares sis boom bah
MegaWhat waves wildly and exclaims - TIME TO GO CONSUME A TWINKIE OR DIE BEFORE THAT!!!
RevJack: P-Lil - are you implying that I should stick it up someone's butt? I just wanna launch the critters!
Modemac: Friday: Eh, they already sell those things in at the BDSM parties and alt.sex.bondage.
Friday-j: Dave - So they can fight against their bonds, knowing that they are SLAVE!
N_X_K: Feh...What we need is a LARGER air blaster...One we can use to LAUNCH THE HEAD
Edgar_Vares the sound of exploding sheep
Fresh_Hog: sis boom bah
ICEKNIFE: never spent much time in GOR
P-Lil: RevJack: No, don't put it UP someone's butt. You position it AGAINST their butt.
*** Signoff: MegaWhat ((Connection reset in cement))
ProbablyDav Well, why do you need a RACK for that kind of stuff? Come on, really.
talysman: when did he die? I thought he's been publishing a book a week...
RevJack: P-Lil, that's disgusting! You're a bad person! Bad!
Friday-j: Modemac - Sure, but I wanna strap in those 400-lb fannish women in barbarian gear and give 'em a TEST DRIVE!
Tarnsman: It's Fun dave!!!!
ICEKNIFE: still keep a summer cottage at Caer Paravel, tho...
RevJack: And I thought you were nice!
ProbablyDav All I know about Gor is that really bad movie with all the buffalo shots on MST3K.
UncleBear: Need a large SHEEP CANNON
Modemac: Sounds like Piers Anthony or Stephen King, talysman...
Fresh_Hog: ram jet
Tarnsman: The movies sucked!!!!
RevJack: SHEEP CANNON YES
Stang: Back... Beast and I voided water in the back yard... are you people talking about Rasputin buytts still??
P-Lil: RevJack: Oh, COME ON. What would you be firing the cannon AT, otherwise?!?
Edgar_Vares i really dig the Rice Burroughs mars books
ProbablyDav Yeah, it's fun ENSLAVING people, but I enjoy it lots more WITHOUT the racks..
RevJack: BA-BOOM BAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa........
Tarnsman: Edgar.. My favorite series!!!!!!!!!
Fresh_Hog: Brad Cooter on MArs
UncleBear: The movies didn't do injustice to the books
Friday-j: Stang - Nope, we're onto rape racks. You'd look smashing in one upside-down, with your hair dragging in the dust ...
talysman: ERB rules... I mixed Warlord of Mars into that Rant...
Stang: The ERB Mars books are like a wonderful world unto themselves, with Slack and no TAXES.
Modemac: Friday: You mean like Brynhild from the Ring of the Neibelung?
Edgar_Vares The lovely Deja Thoris
*** RevGoatPo (ANOK@PPPD9.TST-MedHat.com) has joined channel #subgenius
ProbablyDav Tie 'em to a REALLY BIG stereo speaker and BLAST, uh, Blast, maybe.
Friday-j: Dave - Every accessory will make your slave feel their bondage more abjectly.
Edgar_Vares Tars Tarkas the kickass four-armed fighter
Fresh_Hog: Cars Carcass
RevJack: Poor little gerbils!
*** Signoff: Randji (Write error to Randji[184.108.40.206], closing link)
TheCharlie: but... but... what if I'm in the rape rack ... and one of my hands slips out of the manacles?
RevJack: *POOF!* And he disappears!
Friday-j: Modemac - Breastplates and bondage and gerbils with wings, these are a few of my favorite things!
UncleBear: Tars Tarkas could probably kick Tarl of Ko-ro-ba's ass.
Tarnsman: Oh Gawd.. I'm in Sci Fi Hell.. I love it!!!! :)
Edgar_Vares down in the park there's a rape machine
P-Lil: Try firing three in succession, but be careful, it's a semi-auto and you can jam the gun if you're not careful.
Fresh_Hog: June bugs on strings
Modemac: Maybe John Carter's fingerprints are on the Mars Rock?
ProbablyDav I tell you, it's all about making do with what you have. You can have plenty of fun with just a SPATULA!
Friday-j: TheCharli - Not if _I_ tie you in, bucko.
*** RevGoatPo is now known as RevGoatPoop
talysman: UncaBear: almost CERTAINLY.
N_X_K: mode +b ircle@*199.3.75.*
Fresh_Hog: Cheezemne of Mars
TheCharlie: but what if it is an accident?
Stang: I have unfortunately been doing late '95 taxes all day. Next year it'll all be computerized but today I've been swelling in a world of paper slips and calculators.
P-Lil produces the sound of a gerbil being caught in such a gun
Modemac: Maybe John Carter himself is embedded in the Mars Rock? All shriveled and burnt when he entered our atmosphere?
Fresh_Hog: get yoh ahs to mahs
ICEKNIFE: the loigor are going to attempt to board the saucers by replacing the archons and various others
talysman: although did you ever notice how GOREAN the Tharks were?
UncleBear: This is not Science fiction. This is Doktor Science FACT
ICEKNIFE: it's cuthulu's fault
Friday-j: Dave - Yeah, but I like setting the rack to horizontal, putting a sheet of glass on it, and telling my Pink guests it's a table.
RevJack: *BOOM SQUEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee............ *splat*
P-Lil: Stang: Damn, fun fun.
Friday-j: Stang - Poor baby!
ProbablyDav Oh, wait, HORIZONTAL, that's lotsmore fun.
ProbablyDav What's the best way to hang someone from the CEILING?
P-Lil: He could use a cannon.
Friday-j kisses the sweating scar of Stang, beaded with the exertion of dealing with the real world for a change
UncleBear: That's John Carter's face on Mars. Hoagland's just too pink to figger it out
ICEKNIFE: we have to save the church by protecting and or KILLING said lumminaries
Modemac: Stang: That's what I say every year! Hasn't happened yet.
Edgar_Vares dave: you gonna fuck her on the ceiling? use the ceiling fan for a "helicopter"
Modemac: That's why the software makers sell brand new tax packages every spring.
talysman: John Carter is the Martian Jesus.
Stang: Talysmasn -- the similarity of Goro in the MORTAL COMBAT movie to the Martians was pointed out to me by Nenslo... I was really siappointed
talysman: The Martian FIGHTING Jesus.
Friday-j: Dave - A really sturdy harness, and make sure the eyelets are sunk into solid wood and are HORIZONTAL - or they'll pull out in the thrashing.
UncleBear: The TWO FISTED Martian FUCKING Jesus!
Friday-j: John Carter of Gor?
P-Lil: Friday: Hey! I know what I'm dealing with, I WILL WHUP IT or I WILL GO DOWN, and I *still* chocolate-coat my panties at the thought of dealing with even the POST OFFICE.
ProbablyDav BUNGEE CORD FUCKING could be fun..
Fresh_Hog: Gorton's Fishdicks?
Tarnsman: LOL Friday
Stang: Friday, will you marry me? And come live in Dallas, and do my taxes for me? I love you so.
ICEKNIFE: stang ma6y already have been replaced
ProbablyDav Mmmm... chocolate panties..
Friday-j: P-Lil - Praise be to P-Lil, the loveliest Texan lady in here!
talysman: Stang: haven't seen Mortal Kumquat yet.
UncleBear: Jogn Carter would take Tarl's tarn, fuck it, kill it, and fuck it again.
Fresh_Hog: Jim Carter on MArs
UncleBear: Then feed it to Thuvia
Edgar_Vares John Carter, the classic line in every book ..."blood filled his eyes as the fighting rage swept him."
ICEKNIFE: fucking lloigor
*** Desmond (firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined channel #subgenius
Edgar_Vares Jimmy Carter of Mars
Fresh_Hog: Hamstertrail for Hoomanity
ProbablyDav I saw Mortal Kombat in second run. and it wasn't as bad as Stang makes it out to be! He's just disillusioned.
Modemac: Bungee cord fucking? Too quick! Junp off, bang bang bang, come when the cord snaps back. Total time, two seconds. Bleah.
Desmond: evenin' foax
Friday-j: Stang - Of course, but I get to marry someone else as well. I could just lie my face on that soft tummy of hers all night long.
ProbablyDav Brian's favorite president is Jimmy Carter.
UncleBear: I've got a Dirt Devil Bloody Rage Sweeper
Fresh_Hog: The Nuclear Peanut
RevGoatPoop I ate my own cum last night
ProbablyDav We have this really great disco song-poem called "Jimmy Carter Says Yes".
Fresh_Hog: with hemmmeroids
VT: For the ceiling you should use more than one anchor to distribute the weight...
Fresh_Hog: on mars
P-Lil: Friday: Oh, hon... I WILL MARRY YOU!!!
Friday-j: Jimmy Carter of Mars!
ProbablyDav How did it taste, goatpoop?
P-Lil is so happy....
RevGoatPoop STANG have you ever ate yer own cum?
UncleBear: Bill Clinton was in town here today.
N_X_K: Dave:Pheh. The anime version of the Street Fighter II movie was FAR better than that tripe
Fresh_Hog: Jim Carter's daughter came from mars
ProbablyDav "Why didn't you do that to stagflation?"- Warrior of the Lost World.
RevGoatPoop it tastes bland with a touch of salt
Friday-j: P-Lil - Me, you and Stang plus someone else - a wuartet made in HEAVEN!
Fresh_Hog: an fell flat on her face
ProbablyDav What's wrong with TRIPE? It's gotten me through so man NETHACK sessions..
Friday-j wonders what to wear at the wedding and decides - NOTHING!
TheCharlie: *BOOM SQEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek *splat*
Stang: I think that my problem with MORTAL COMBAT was that when I first saw it, I was on about 20 hits of Gemera and thought it was the ULTIMATE. Then a later saw it on tape and realized the fx weren't anywhere NEASR as fancy as I thought they were.
VT: Nekkid weddings, how very 60's...
ProbablyDav Oooh, can I volunteer? I may be GREEN, but my money is PINK...
Friday-j: TheCharlie - Try firing those gerbils into Stang's hair, see if they start nesting.
Modemac: Not a good idea, Friday. Being naked in New England weather at this time of year...brrr!
Fresh_Hog: Shower Naked
P-Lil: Hmm, marrying STANG...? Uh, OK, shit, but it's gonna be a MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE.
UncleBear: Now have a question about anime-- do large eyebrows=virility?
TheCharlie: Friday.. where did you think we got 'em?
ProbablyDav I wasn't alive in tthe '60s.
Edgar_Vares The Mortal Combat movie is cool only because of Shang Tsung
P-Lil: This dyke has SOME principles!
Friday-j: Modemac - But the cold makes my nipples SOOO hard ...
ProbablyDav I was barely alive in the '70s.
Edgar_Vares i have the sega cartridge of MK
Stang: HEY MAN DON'T BE PUTTING DOWN THE SIXTIES! We actually had a REASON to hate the Con back in the Day.
ProbablyDav My brother has MK2.
Friday-j: P-Lil - tang is very convenient. If you lose your mop, why there's Stang!
VT: Friday: Can they etch glass though?
TheCharlie: I wasn't here in the 70's. I WAS here in the 60's though..
Edgar_Vares i was born in the sixties
Fresh_Hog: Putting down the dog
talysman: Stang: it's a LIE... they replaced all the prints with CHEAP IMITATIONS the second time.
ProbablyDav I got nothing against the '60s. The '60s kicked the '80s ass.
ICEKNIFE: i have 2 new pez dispensers
*** Signoff: Desmond (Leaving)
UncleBear: I remembering OD'ing in the 60s. Not much else, tho.
Friday-j: UncleBear - Nosebleeds mean you're a virgin in anime.
Fresh_Hog: Puttin on the pez
UncleBear: Which ones, Icee?
VT: No one admits to the 70's...
Tarnsman: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeell it has been fun folks..
ProbablyDav I grew up in the '80s in Montville, New Jersey.l EVIL. Pure EVIL.
ChrisLee: i thought michael valentine smith was the maritan jesus
ProbablyDav See ya, John Normand head!
Friday-j: VT - They can BURN THROUGH THE HEART OF THE SUN can my nipples of terror!
Tarnsman: Se you on the other side maybe..
Stang: Well the 60s WERE stupid as hell, but at least people GAVE S SHIT.
Edgar_Vares i was three when Buzz Aldrin was the first man to walk on the moon
talysman: bye, Tarnsman.
Friday-j: Tarnsman! Ta Sandar Gor!
P-Lil: Friday: Oh GHOD.... *laughing* You're right! Nosebleed, not cuntbleed!
ProbablyDav There's nothing WRONG with being stupid as hell!
UncleBear: l8tr tarn
N_X_K: Mortal Kombat is suck. Street Fighter, on the other hand, is a perfectly good blood-vendetta storyline, with people getting killed left and right and Akuma slaughtering everyone
Tarnsman: Bye talysman.. :)
Stang: Mayhaps you are all noticing how ineffectually I TYPE.
ProbablyDav The CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS is stupid as hell!
Tarnsman: Later UB..:)
ProbablyDav *I* am stupid as hell!
Friday-j: Stang - Usually they shat on your lawn and then bleated "Property is theft" when you complained.
ICEKNIFE: YOU PEOPLE SUCK... I HAD A BIRTHDAY 2 DAYS AGO, AND NOT ONE OF YOU SENT A GIFT (EXCEPT CUTHULU)
Tarnsman: Be Cool Friday..
Modemac: Is it true that Buzz Aldrin actually carried a Freemasonry flag with him when he stepped onto the Moon>
Edgar_Vares And I remember Neil Armstrongs first mars walk
*** Signoff: Tarnsman (Mickey was captured and held on weapons charges and Murder and after a short legal struggle, was executed by being tied up and thrown to a bunch of alley cats... So ends the life os a celuloid legend.....:()
Friday-j: Dave - We are PROUD of our stupidity! \
P-Lil: Stang: Yeah, are you using only your chin again?
N_X_K: And I DON'T mean the live-action movie
Modemac: ProbablyDave: And it took you THIS long to figure that out?
ProbablyDav Anime don't count.
*** ChrisLee has left channel #subgenius
Edgar_Vares you are old father iceknife
ProbablyDav Modemac: No, I was just standing up for my stupidity.
VT: Anime counts DOUBLE!
P-Lil: Or is it because you have to look at the keyboard when you type and you're facing... uh... inward...?
Edgar_Vares and yet you act like a lad of 12
TheCharlie: I sent a gift ICE... didn't you get it? I sent fresh air directly to you!. (Well, OK.. I farted in your general direction)
ICEKNIFE: they young glorp said
Edgar_Vares how do you stay fit?
Stang: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ICEKNIFE. Even though you have at times seemed like the most irritating person in the universe, yet STILL I must say, you're fuckin' FUNY.
Friday-j gives Iceknife a belated birthday ... belch.
ProbablyDav All the really GREAT UNIVERSAL TRUTHS are STUPID.
talysman: ICE, you never TOLD anyone...
*** ChrisLee (email@example.com) has joined channel #subgenius
ProbablyDav Paul hasn't figured that out yet, unfortunately.
UncleBear: Iceknife is real.
P-Lil: Ice: Damn, son, you made it. Wanna go one more year?
N_X_K: VT:Dragon Ball Z counts quadruple...
Friday-j: The Church does not exist - Iceknife is all of reality!
ProbablyDav I KNOW he's real. Who was discounting it?
ICEKNIFE: not really
TheCharlie: CHris.. In? Out! ... IN? OUT! In .. hey .. wait a minute.. I'm getting an idea...
Modemac: Let's give Iceknife some BIRTHDAY SLAPS WITH A WET FISH!
Stang: For any SubGenmius to live even ONE YEAR MORE in the Con world is a feat of MAJICKKKK.
Stang: Wait a minute, how old ARE you, Iceknife? My guess: 28
Stang: I think I am disconnected.
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