Subject: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 10:56 AM
Message-ID: <250920011056189961%stang@subgenius.com>

I was laying in bed watching a Batman movie. Couldn't pay attention at
all. Bumming out over EVERYTHING. Guilt tripping over yelling at Huey.
Thinking about what a jerk I was. Thinking I'd be a fucking dumbass if
I didn't go out first thing in the morning and buy a year's worth of
water and food and firewood. And water purification stuff.

I think this war shit is getting to me.

Bad dreams, feeling threatened, checking 15 news websites every 2
hours, bad temper... yep... what that one guy said... we're getting all
schizzy.

And I've been avoiding ALL NEWS for 2 years!! I guess I must have been
paying attention prior to that, though, 'cause it's all coming back to
me in a big awful rush, from Jonestown to BlowjobGate, which is where I
dropped out.

However, I understand that the best thing that a small businessman like
me can do in a situation like this is MAKE AS MUCH FUCKING MONEY AS I
POSSIBLY CAN, and SPEND IT AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN. And FORNICATE and
JACK OFF and MAKE NUTTY PICTURES and EAT as if my very life depended on
it!! I will turn up the music and run up my credit card and say FUCK
IT!!

In other words I feel it is now my patriotic duty to get OVER it and
Slack Off. "DON'T FUCK WITH MY SLACK" , like in that picture that
Artemia Salina did -- that's my new motto. I'd be putting all that
stuff on SubSITE right now except that I fucked up my own neck bones in
the shower just SHAMPOOING -- see what I mean? It's got me so freaked
out I'm fucking up my own self. Spazzing out. Acting like a fucking
dumbass.

And I'm a pampered civilian. There's a shitload of soldiers who are
probably a shitload more scared than I am right now, so FUCK ME IF I
CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.

I shall henceforth consciously strive to eat the hell out of that
hamburger, make a lot of noise or whatever, and appreciate to the
fullest the Slack I have, and figure out how best to use it to SERVE MY
SUBGENIUS COUNTRYMEN, CONTINENTMEN, AND PLANETMEN. And COUNTRYWOMEN,
CONTINENTWOMEN, AND PLANETBABES.

And their domesticated animals. And stop fighting with my fellow
SubGeniuses and kooks. I have been a dumbass. Easily losing
perspective. Goes with the territory. *SLAP SLAP SLAP* Thanks I needed
that.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 7:21 PM
Message-ID: <3BB1115E.80D32D04@carbon.cudenver.edu>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
<snip>
> In the nearby Walgreens Drugstore is an aisle boldly marked,
> "INCONTINENTS."
<snip>

Isn't there a brand called "I Can't Believe I Peed my Pants"?

--
John Starrett
"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff."
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 9:28 PM
Message-ID: <250920012128503350%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <20010925160138.21345.00000681@mb-fr.aol.com>, Bobdiddley
<bobdiddley@aol.com> wrote:

> >From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
>
> >Guilt tripping over yelling at Huey.
> I found that whole exchange to be enlightening. Not knowing either of you
> personally, I couldn't follow some of the details, but it did reflect to me
> things I'd said and done (or neglected to) with friends and family of my own.
> Thanks to you both, for playing out a dialog which set me thinking. I hope you
> gained insight from it, too.

We got over it in email. Now Huey and I have banded together to fight
back against the villains that are telling us BOTH what to do. Praise
Dobbs, we found another common enemy: PEOPLE WITH ADVICE! Heh heh,
jes' kidding... emoticon... (I dunno how to draw those)

>
> Yeah, wartime sucks, especially when it ain't a real war, and we're not going
> to have a real earned gut blowout after it's over, because there won't BE any
> AFTER to it. Imagine there's no countries, and Keep On Rockin' in the Free
> World.
>
> Anyone sick of tv? I suggest re-reading the Sacred Texts - the Book of the
> SubGenius and Revelation X (or just look at the pictures). Hell, even the
> Pamphlets contain ample supplies of instant answers to everything - that (and
> Slack) are all a SubG needs, until (and through) these pitiful end times.

That's actually pretty good advice for old timers like myself who
haven't actually cracked those tomes very often since we spent months
stitching each word together out of used letters.

Every time I look at those I think, "WOW! We were almost SMART back in
them days!"

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 9:33 PM
Message-ID: <250920012133430954%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <1f6b045d.0109251315.7673fabd@posting.google.com>, Rev.
Glandgland <discordian99@yahoo.com> wrote:

> Only thing that seemed to "help" me at all was to call some people up
> and go jam. Gotta smoke pot. Use your guitar or drumkit. It won't
> make it go away but this nervous tension makes for a killer jam
> session. Roll a tape. That's right get off your ass and wipe the
> gunk off the strings and pick the shit up and load it in your car.

Actually tonight (after putting in a good days work) I'm trying to
decide whether to finally fuck around with this "techno Music 4 Idiots"
program I have, or make stupid yet cool 3D pictures with the Bryce
program, or rent the movie "Memento" and re-edit it. Any of those would
be sort of like smoking a ton of pot. Perhaps I should smoke the ton of
pot AND do one of those things.

>
> Listening to music sucks, TV sucks...all of it. Seems empty that way.
> Has to be in your hands. Got to work it and feel those hand cramps.
> Only thing helped me was a real jam session. Don't matter how bad it
> sounds, you won't hear it anyway. Something interesting has happened
> on tape the last two times we jammed.
>

That ESO radio show has the same function for me... I can't play ANY
instrument besides tape decks and mouth, but that particular show is
so... SubGenius... it's like playing free form jazz, I suppose.

A lot of the SubGenius wartime artwork and noise is reminding me of
those Warner Brothers cartoons that were done during World War II.

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Sep 25, 2001 9:35 PM
Message-ID: <250920012135508598%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <slrqo9.l31.ln@news.concourse.com>, The Stinking Bishop
Prostata Cantata MP <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

> In article <250920011056189961%stang@subgenius.com>,
> Rev. Ivan Stang <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
> >However, I understand that the best thing that a small businessman like
> >me can do in a situation like this is MAKE AS MUCH FUCKING MONEY AS I
> >POSSIBLY CAN, and SPEND IT AS FAST AS I POSSIBLY CAN. And FORNICATE and
> >JACK OFF and MAKE NUTTY PICTURES and EAT as if my very life depended on
> >it!! I will turn up the music and run up my credit card and say FUCK
> >IT!!
>
>
> Fuck, yeah!
>
> These here times, they are a FUCKED UP MESS! But unless you're
> one of the poor bastards stuck cleaning up that mess, then the BEST
> POSSIBLE thing you or the rest of us can do is LIVE LIKE the
> DAMNED-HELL-ASS-KINGS we are!
>
> FORNICATE! MASTERBATE! EXCRAMEDITATE! and all the other ATES too!

SELL!!! SELL!!! SELL!!!

No wait...

BUY! BUY!!! BUY!!! From THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION! Every new SuBGenius
CD ordered today is BIG BUCKS in the COFFER-WEAPONRY OF DOBBS in the
FUTURE!! THE ROSY FUTURE -- FOR *WE WILL WIN*!!

So BUY!!!! BUY!!! BUY!!!!

http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog.html

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: Hulkturds@crappagammabrick.ouch (HellPope Huey)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 26, 2001 1:57 AM
Message-ID: <Hulkturds-2509012357250001@208-135-242-216.dial-up.ipa.net>

In article <20010925160138.21345.00000681@mb-fr.aol.com>,
bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley) wrote:
> >From: "Rev. Ivan Stang"
>
> >Guilt tripping over yelling at Huey.
> I found that whole exchange to be enlightening. Not knowing either of you
> personally, I couldn't follow some of the details, but it did reflect to me
> things I'd said and done (or neglected to) with friends and family of my own.
> Thanks to you both, for playing out a dialog which set me thinking. I hope you
> gained insight from it, too.

Wellll, we've agreed that we're BOTH FUCKING REACTIONARY SHITHEADS and
that what we really needed was blowjobs (not from each other) and a
flame-broiled dolphin steak. Brain food, y'know, to keep more ALIVE that
which all of the WTC-borne factions AREN'T using. I'm polishing up my file
of neutron bomb jokes. I mean, get a gander at the (possibly doctored)
shot of the tourist atop the WTC with the jet coming at the building under
his shoulder. Well just HAUNT my damn ass, why dontcha?

I'd too NUMB to fear it all. It'll play out ugly because we're going at
it via greed and WWII-think. Right, the Taliban is gonna run out in a
group and give Apache heliopters the finger. No, their next sleepers are
gearing up to dump something biological or some isotope dust somewhere
crowded.

Meanwhile, I am listening to Adrian Legg and Ray davies and thinking God
has it on the ball in SOME way. Thus, its not my job. My job is giving
Stang his rightful due, picking my niece up from school tomorrow, watching
the special "West Wing" ABOUT the WTC (basically, I read) and sorting
synth disks for the hopeful revival of my sound files so I can do more
musical thangs. Let Charlie Rose track the carriers until the next
atrocity of logic and heart.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
The Overlord of Overload

"When you are constantly moving forward,
searching for the cutting edge,
everyone behind you always
believes you have gone too far.
The further back from the cutting edge they are,
the more extreme and, indeed,
insane, you appear, to them, to be.
In this way, one person's "madness"
can be another's commonsense."
- David Icke

"You take the blue pill and the story ends.
You wake in your bed
and you believe whatever you want to believe."
"You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland
and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."
- "The Matrix"

Half of me wants to knock you
Half of me wants to say I'm sorry
How can I change the world
When I can't change myself?
- Todd Rundgren, "Change Myself"
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: This War Shit Is Freaking Me Out
From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 26, 2001 6:05 AM
Message-ID: <q2a3rt0vdimf0j9crao3rte1c2aj1t2fac@4ax.com>

On Tue, 25 Sep 2001 21:28:50 -0400, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>We got over it in email. Now Huey and I have banded together to fight
>back against the villains that are telling us BOTH what to do.

You mean you actually settled your differences in email? You didn't
have a long, drawn-out flame war here on the newsgroup for everyone to
see?

Is that legal?

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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Original file name: This War Shit Is Freaking Me O... - converted on Wednesday, 10 October 2001, 17:00